


The Shamrock

by AvengingAngel



Series: Wave a Magic Wand [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: 69 (Sex Position), Anal Sex, Arranged Marriage, Bigotry & Prejudice, Blow Jobs, Catholic, Child Abuse, Coming of Age, Dysfunctional Family, Families of Choice, Family Drama, Gay Sex, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Marriage Proposal, Minor Violence, Same-Sex Marriage, Sirius Lives, Werewolf Biology, Werewolf Culture, Werewolf Mates, betrothal, probably forgot some stuff, remus is alpha, sirius is sweet
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-18
Updated: 2014-11-08
Packaged: 2017-12-12 05:25:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 74,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/807775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AvengingAngel/pseuds/AvengingAngel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remus and Sirius from the beginning. Prequel to Salvation, my other fic</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Seventeen year old John Andrew Lupin was a simple man. He had very few desires for his life. Finding a pretty girl, settling down, having children. Simple things. Normal things. Things he expected to happen years from now.

He had a good job as a mechanics apprentice, and he was due to be promoted to an actual mechanic any day now. He had a nice three bedroom house, something none of his mates had yet. His parents had left it to him when they had died in a car accident when he was fifteen. All he needed was to find a wife and fill it with beautiful babies.

He never expected to find her one lazy Sunday afternoon in August.

“We’re going to get caught!”

“No we’re not. Come on, Annie, stop being such a fraidy cat!”

“I am not! I just don’t want to get into trouble.”

John looked up to see the prettiest girl he had ever seen being dragged into The Shamrock pub by three other girls. He barely noticed the giggly ones doing the dragging. But the one the other girl had called Annie, he couldn’t take his eyes off of that one.

She was about 5’5”, wavy brown hair, and the brightest amber eyes. She smiled through her protests, and when one of the girls said something to make her laugh, John couldn’t breathe.

“What can I get you lovely ladies this fine afternoon?” asked Big Jim, the bartender. 

He was so called Big Jim because he was wider than he was tall. He hailed from County Kerry, Ireland, and had moved to London when he was twenty one. He’d owned The Shamrock for five years, paid for by money from a spinster aunt. It was a nice pub. Good atmosphere. Big Jim made everyone feel like family, and, if you drank in The Shamrock every evening, like John did, you were family.

John gulped down the last of his pint and made his way over to the bar, amidst jeers from his mates.

“Just an orange juice, please,” Anne said.

“One orange juice. And for you ladies?” Big Jim asked.

“We’ll take pints, please.”

“I’ll pay for these, and I’ll take another pint, Jim.”

Anne spun around to find a boy standing behind her. He was quite tall, brown hair and eyes, and his nails were stained black. He was smiling at her and her friends. It was Mary, the redhead. She’d be the one he was after. Or it might be Joan, with her big blue eyes. Of course, it would be Alice, the one with the legs. Anne was used to her three friends getting the blokes. No bloke wanted the short one, the one with odd eyes and boring hair.

“I’m John Lupin, and I am very pleased to make the acquaintance of four lovely ladies,” he said and Joan practically melted.

He had a cockney accent. Anne had never met anyone who talked like that before. It was quite nice really.

“Hello, John. I’m Alice, and this is Joan, Mary and Anne. Thank you for the drinks.”

“My pleasure,” he said as he shook each of their hands. “What brings you all the way to this neck of the woods? You’re not from around here. I would have noticed creatures as beautiful as you.”

Alice giggled and Anne rolled her eyes. It was a silly thing to laugh at, just a corny line.

“Annie’s come home for the holidays from boarding school and we want to show her the art of living before she goes back,” Joan said.

“And how are you finding it, Miss Anne?”

Why was he talking to her? Why bother? It was obvious she wasn’t going to be the one copping off with him, so why make the effort?

“Well, I’m sure this is not what my guardians had in mind when they said I could go out with my friends,” she said and he laughed.

“No, I’m sure it wasn’t. Don’t worry, we’ll take good care of you, make sure you don’t end up in too much trouble,” he said as he paid for the drinks.

The four girls ended up spending the evening with John and his mates, who were a polite, if rowdy, bunch. There was Chris, who was sixteen and worked in his fathers fish and chip shop. He made a beeline for Mary. Then there was Joe, the seventeen year old mechanic’s apprentice like John, who set his sights firmly on Joan. And there was Mike, the carpenter and the only one over eighteen. He took a fancy to Alice.

Anne slipped outside to indulge in a cigarette without her friends making a big deal out of it. Her foster parents hated her smoking, and she had to hang out of the dorm room window to smoke at school, but she was miles from home, all the way on the other side of London. Who was going to stop her now? She fully intended to quit, but today was not that day.

“Bad for your health.”

She inhaled half of her cigarette in shock as the voice spoke. She looked up to find John smiling down at her.

“So they say. It’ll stunt my growth, right?”

He laughed. “Maybe. Mind if I bum one?” She held out the packet and he took one, lighting up. “So, you go to boarding school?”

“Yes. It’s a school for the gifted. For kids with special skills.”

That smile was making her nervous. No bloke ever smiled at her like that. She just wasn’t the one they wanted.

“Is it your beautiful eyes that are your special skill?”

Hang on. Did he just call her eyes beautiful? That couldn’t be right. He had to be pissed. But wait, he couldn’t be. He had been on orange juice after his first pint, and they had been sitting together all evening, she knew for a fact that he was sober.

“I’m sorry, but if this is some ploy to get to one of my friends, let me say that you’re wasting your time. They’ll go out with you, any one of them, if you just ask them,” she said firmly.

“I’m not using you to get to your friends.”

“Oh, I get it. One of them asked you to make me feel special by flirting with me, is that it?”

“Nope.”

“Then what is your game, Mr Lupin?”

He smiled at her. “I was just wondering if you would go out with me.”

Her jaw dropped. “Me?”

“Yes, you. You see, I’m very picky. I want the prettiest girl. And you, Miss Graham, are the prettiest girl I have ever met,” he said honestly. “I’m not like Chris, who wants the redheads because he thinks they’re exciting. And I’m not like Joe, who likes blue eyes. And I’m not like Mike, who’s a leg man.”

“So what are you like?”

“I want the girl I can actually have a conversation with. No offence to your friends, they’re nice enough, but I’d like conversation on something other than hair styles,” he said and she sniggered. “I want a woman with class, and you seem to have it in spades.”

She smiled at him, measuring him up. His brown eyes were honest, and he didn’t seem to be making fun of her. 

“Well, in that case, you’ll have to wait,” she said.

“Wait?”

“Yes. You see, I still have two more years at boarding school, which takes me way for the better part of the year. I will go out with you, if you wait for me,” she bargained. If he was serious, he would wait.

“Can I write to you at this school?”

Ah, a slight problem there. He was a muggle, that much she knew. She wanted him to write to her, if he was serious. But how would he get the letters to her?

“Have you ever sent a letter by owl?”

He laughed. “By owl? You mean the nocturnal bird of prey?”

“Yes.”

“No, can’t say I’ve ever sent a letter that way.”

“My school is a little…different. We send letters by owls. I have one. If you give me your address, I’ll send you a letter, and you can give my owl the one to bring back to me,” she said.

She had to be having him on. Owl? Send a letter by owl? But she seemed to be genuine, and she’d given him no reason not to trust her. Plus, if it was some way to get rid of him, he had to give her points for originality.

“All right,” he said. He pulled out a notebook and jotted down his address, passing her the scrap of paper. She tucked it into her pocket without even looking at it. “How old are you?”

“Sixteen.”

“Sweet sixteen. And when do you go back to school?”

“Tomorrow.”

“Well, I look forwards to meeting this owl of yours,” he said, raising her hand and kissing it, making her blush.

Any further conversation between them was cut off by the three other girls pouring from the pub, claiming that they had to get Anne home if she had any hope of making the train tomorrow. 

John watched as the four girls disappeared down the street, Anne turning her head to glance at him one last time before she vanished around the corner.

“You are hooked.”

He turned to find Mike leaning against the door, staring at him. 

“No, I’m not,” John argued.

“Right, right…so what’s that look for?”

“What look?”

“The one that says you were just touched by an angel.”

John smiled. “Maybe I was.”

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John walked into The Shamrock to find Anne waiting at the bar for him. He would have been there earlier, if he hadn’t ended work covered in engine oil. He had been forced to run home and take a bath. He didn’t want her to see him covered in oil, it was not a good look for a first date. 

Two years of letter writing, they were well overdue for their first date. 

When her owl had first arrived, he had laughed himself hoarse. He hadn’t actually believed her when she had told him about Merlin the owl. But the beautiful brown bird had arrived a week after their first meeting. It had just swooped out of the sky and landed calmly on his windowsill, holding out its leg for him to take the letter.

They hadn’t been able to meet up last summer, her friends had whisked her away to the Lake District to enjoy the summer sun away from the city. And the Christmas and Easter breaks she had stayed at school. But their letter writing had been constant. They had discussed everything. Family, friends, likes, dislikes, favourite things, future plans. There was not a thing they hadn’t talked about.

He had loved the letters, and over the two years he had fallen in love with Anne. He wanted to ask her to marry him, but when he had indicated that to be his intention, she had written that she had something he needed to know and it was something best told in person.

So they had arranged to meet. Same place, same date as their first meeting, minus their friends. 

She was sitting at the bar in a blue dress, sipping an orange juice. Her hair was so long now, it was halfway down her back. She was still short, but he liked that about her. She caught sight of him and she smiled.

“Hello,” she said, hopping down off her barstool.

“Hello. Sorry I’m late,” he said.

“It’s all right. Big Jim’s been entertaining me with tales of his interesting regulars,” she said. She leaned in and hugged him, arching up to kiss his cheek. 

He smiled and tried to take a full breath. A woman had never had this effect on him before. It was different, and he liked it. She was special. He regained himself and accepted the orange juice she had bought for him.

“Shall we find a seat?” she said and he nodded.

They chose a table in a secluded corner, far away from prying ears and nosy eyes. 

“So, how are you?” he asked.

“Good. I got a flat and job.”

“Really? That was fast. What job?”

“A receptionist for a dentist. It’s nothing fancy, but I like it. It pays pretty well, and the hours are good. And it’s here.”

“A job in London is a good thing,” he said, thinking of all the months she had spent up in Scotland at school. Anything that kept her in London was a good thing.

“No, I mean it’s here. Like, a short bus ride away from right here,” she clarified.

He couldn’t believe it. She had been so far away for so long and now she was here. Right here. His mates were right. He was a lucky son of a bitch.

She watched the small smile break across his face and smiled herself. She knew that flat was a good idea. And the job she loved. It was in the Muggle World, which her friends at Hogwarts all scoffed at, but it was the world she had grown up in, why shouldn’t she live in it? It didn’t mean she was turning her back on the Wizarding World. Speaking of which, she really should tell him. If he did really want to marry her, which she hoped he did, she wanted to tell him now while he could still back out of it if he wanted. It was only right that he be aware of everything before they got too serious.

They chatted about their lives since the last letter and when he offered to replenish their drinks, she shook her head and asked if they could go back to his place.

He smiled and took her arm, leading her out of the pub. His house was a small three bedroom terrace with a small walled in back garden. The garden was barely big enough to swing a cat, but all he did was dry his laundry out there, so it didn’t matter. The best feature of the house was that it was only three streets away from The Shamrock, which meant that he always made it home at the end of the night.

The East End estate was perfect for John’s lifestyle. His garage, something he had finally opened six months ago with Joe, was four streets away from his house. There was a little corner shop for the last minute essentials, like milk and bread, and a fish and chip shop, which was now run by Chris after his father passed away eighteen months ago. The supermarket was only a ten minute walk. It was perfect.

He let Anne into his kitchen and silently thanked God that he had done the dishes that morning. It was relatively neat and tidy. At least he didn’t have a leaking carburettor sitting on his kitchen table, something that seemed to happen quite often.

“Tea?” he offered and she shook her head.

“John, maybe you should sit down,” she said and he took the chair on the opposite side of the table. “You know I told you that I have a secret?”

He nodded.

“Well…John…I’m a witch.”

There was dead silence in the kitchen. She watched the information process through his head and wondered what he would say first.

“You mean like one of those new age hippy pagan types?” he asked.

“No, I mean a real witch, one who can do magic.”

He laughed. She had to be joking. Maybe she had hit her head or something. His mother used to tell him fairy tales when he was little about witches and ogres, talking mirrors and magic plants that grew from magic beans. She was just playing with him, indulging in his childhood love of the fantastic.

“A witch?” he questioned and she nodded. “Riiiiight. And I suppose you know the Easter bunny. Come on, Annie, what’s the real secret?”

“John, that is my secret. If you have a tea cup, I can show you,” she said and he stared at her for a moment before he stood up.

“All right, I’ll go along with it,” he said, retrieving a tea cup from the cupboard and handing it to her. “What are you going to do with that, make it float?”

“Watch the cup,” she instructed as he leaned against the sink, watching her. He nodded and fixed his eyes on the cup. She pulled out her wand from a hidden pocket in her dress and waved it. “Wingardium Leviosa.” The cup hovered a few inches and he jumped about a foot in the air.

“Jesus Christ!” he half yelled. He slowly came forwards and passed his hand under the cup, then over it, then around it.

“There are no wires,” she said and his eyes met hers. “I told you, I’m a witch.”

He fell back down into his chair, staring at the cup. She decided to leave it there, until he actually believed what he was seeing. Every now and then he passed his hand under it. She managed not to laugh. It wasn’t funny. Really, it wasn’t funny. All right, it was bloody hilarious, but she refused to laugh. It was probably terrifying to him.

“You’re a witch,” John said after four hours of silence. She nodded and lowered the cup. “A real live honest to God witch.”

“Yes.”

He nodded mutely. 

“John, I know that this is a lot for you to take in right now, but I need to ask you something,” she said and he let out a hysterical kind of laugh.

“Go on,” he said, his voice suddenly very high pitched.

“I need you to keep this a secret. You can’t tell anyone about me. It would be really bad for me if people knew. I told you because I trust you. Will you keep my secret?”

This seemed to slap some sense into him again.

“Anne, I’ll keep it a secret, I swear. I’ll never tell a soul, I’ll take it to the grave with me. But…um…not to sound rude or anything…but maybe it’s best if you go. I need some time to think this through,” he said, looking uncomfortable.

She smiled. “Of course, I understand. Listen, this is my telephone number. Give me a call when you’re ready to talk,” she said, handing him a small scrap of paper with a number and her name on it. “I’ll see myself out.”

He nodded again and called out a goodbye as the door closed behind her. 

John sat at his kitchen table staring at the cup late into the night. He thought it all over in his head.

A witch. A real witch. He had always though magic lived in fairy tales, that he had put those things behind him, grown out of them. But no, oh no, life was never that simple.

He considered it. The main question was why had she told him. Why would she tell him something so big? And then it hit him.

She loved him.

She had revealed herself, exposed herself, because she wanted him to know, she wanted to share it with him. Well, that’s what he believed. She had no one else, her parents had died when she was very small. The way she had made it sound, she had probably never told anyone before.

But there was that part of him that hesitated. Could he live with a witch? Marry one? Have children with one? Quite honestly, he didn’t know. He hadn’t seen real demonstrations of magic, he had no idea what she was capable of. One floating teacup was not Merlin’s magic.

Speaking of Merlin…

John crossed the room as Merlin the owl tapped on his window. There was no letter attached, so this was obviously a stop on Merlin’s nightly hunt. The bird stopped in most nights to say a hello while he hunted for his meal.

John opened the window and held out his arm. Merlin hopped on and John carried him to the kitchen. He perched the bird on the back of a chair and sat down.

“What do you think, Merl?” The bird chirped and he smiled. “Good point.”

Merlin hooted and he nodded.

“You know, I think you’re right.”

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“This place is incredible!”

Anne sniggered. She had answered a three am telephone call from John and subsequently agreed to show him Diagon Alley. So far, they had barely made it through the archway. She remembered the first time she had seen Diagon Alley and mused that she had been quieter in her amazement. Silent was probably a better description.

They slowly made their way down the street, popping in to almost every shop. John took it all in, asking questions by the barrelful. She answered every single one honestly and found herself impressed by his ability to remember everything she told him.

“So that big white one is the bank?” he asked, pointing at it.

“Yes, that’s Gringotts. It’s run by goblins.”

“Goblins? Like real goblins?”

“Yes, real goblins.”

They continued to explore Diagon Alley, the young witch firmly steering him away from Knockturn Alley. He accepted her explanation of it being the wrong sort of crowd without question. In fact, he took all of her advice without question. He kept his hands off of what she told him not to touch, moved away from people she didn’t want him near, went where she led him. In his mind, this was her world, not his. She knew what was safe, what the rules were. It wasn’t proper for him to let himself get carried away with it all. Those Aurors sounded like a scary bunch.

They made their way back to the Leaky Cauldron at the end of the day for some dinner. John ordered the stew, like Anne did, and sat quietly while she explained even more of her world to him.

“I think I’ve covered just about everything,” she said finally. 

They were finished with their dinner and enjoying something called butterbeer, which John found he absolutely loved. It made him feel all warm and happy. He nodded and looked around. The pub wasn’t the friendliest looking place, but like quite a few things in her world, appearances were deceiving. He quite enjoyed sitting in the Leaky Cauldron. It was more interesting than The Shamrock.

Speaking of interesting, that was definitely something that didn’t happen in The Shamrock.

Anne caught on to what he was looking at and smiled.

“It’s not illegal in my world,” she said and he looked at her. “Two men being together, it’s perfectly acceptable in the Wizarding World. They can even get married. There’s a special branch of the Muggle Government, a special law that makes it legal in both worlds for two wizards to be married.”

He glanced at the two men leaning over their dinner to smooch and decided that he wasn’t as repulsed by it as he had assumed he would be. In fact, he found he didn’t mind it at all. Love was love, whatever shape it took. It was hard enough to find someone to spend your life with. He couldn’t imagine how hard it was for gay men and women to find someone. How did you know who was and wasn’t gay? Looking at the two men, John couldn’t see any difference between them and himself. They looked just like everyone else. They didn’t have a tattoo on their foreheads or some other visible marker of it.

“Fair enough. If that’s the way they are so be it. It‘s not like they choose to be gay, is it?” he asked.

“No, they don’t choose it. It’s just like you liking women, it’s the way they are. It’s not contagious or something like that. It’s just the way they are, nothing wrong with it, in my book,” she said honestly.

“Nothing at all, just as long as no one asks me to kiss a bloke, I’m all for it,” he said, making her laugh. “I have a question.”

She giggled. “Another one? You do surprise me, Mr Lupin, so full of questions,” she teased. “Go on then.”

“If we got married and had children, would they be special like you?”

“You mean would they be magical?”

“Yes.”

“They might be. My parents were muggles, like you, and I’m a witch. There are different kinds of magical people,” she said and he nodded for her to continue. “Well, there are very old families of witches and wizards, who marry witches and wizards and have magical children. They’re called Pureblood. Then there are people like me, magical but the first in their families to be so. I’m what’s called a Muggleborn. Then there are half and half. One parent magical, the other muggle. They’re called half-blood.”

“What about if we had a child, what would he or she be?”

“Ummmm…I think a child we had, that was magical, would be considered half-blood. I’m magical, you’re muggle, so I think half-blood would be right,” she said. “Is it something you want, to have magical children?”

He smiled guiltily. How did she manage to see straight through him?

“I wouldn’t mind,” he said casually. “What about two magical parents having a non magical child?”

She couldn’t believe how well he was taking all of this. She had expected him to have some sort of trouble accepting all of this, her world, but it didn’t seem to be a problem. Maybe her friends had been wrong. All those catty witches, ones she never had a desire to see again in her life, had loudly said over and over that a relationship with a muggle would never work, that a muggle could never accept or understand the Wizarding World. She felt a swell of pride at John proving them wrong.

“That child would be called a Squib. They’re sometimes given up for adoption, so they can be raised in the Muggle World. Other times, they’re raised by the family, but they’re home schooled. They never receive a wand, or a magical education, but they are still a part of the Wizarding World,” she explained.

“They don’t go to Hogwarts?”

“No. To go to Hogwarts, they need to be able to perform magic. A Squib can’t.”

He fell silent for a while, and she let him do so. It was a lot for him to take in, she couldn’t expect him to just smile and go on as if nothing had happened. He had seen things today that would make some people’s eyes pop out.

“All right. I’ve thought about it all,” he said eventually. She nodded, sitting back in her seat and watching him. “Your world is incredible. I always thought magic was only in fairy tales. To find out now that it’s all real is a shock, I’ll admit that. And I am shocked, I’ll admit that too. I’m a mechanic, I fix motors for a living. The thought of someone as wonderful, as beautiful, as amazing as you, special as you, would like me the way I like you blows my mind.”

“I do like you. I like you very much,” she said, a little breathless. No man had ever made her feel this way. No man had ever looked at her that way either. And she had never thought of a man the way she thought of him. She had never liked a man this much.

He got up out of his chair and knelt before her chair. “I don’t have a ring, because I didn’t plan on doing this yet. I planned to wait, to actually spend some time with you in person. But I can’t wait. Anne Graham, I love you. I find you to be the most incredible woman I’ve ever met. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I can’t give you a castle or riches or anything a wizard could. But if you’ll have me, I’ll be yours for as long as you want. Anne, will you marry me?”

Oh Merlin, he had meant it when he had said it in the letter. She had thought he was just saying it, but no, he had been serious. He want to marry her, and, by the sounds of it, have children. Get married, raise a family, grow old together. She loved him, she knew that. And he loved her. How they would make this work, she had absolutely no idea, but they would find a way.

“Yes, John, I will marry you.”

His gentle kiss was all she needed to reassure herself that he was the one for her.

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John bouncily walked down the hallways of the hospital with a bunch of flowers and a teddy bear.

He and Anne had waited until she turned twenty one to marry, living in their separate accommodations until their wedding night, when she moved in to his house. That had been nine years ago and he had never regretted a single second of his life with Anne. He had to admit, being married to Anne had its moments. It was definitely unlike any other marriage he had ever heard of.

There were the moments he had always envisioned when he had thought about marriage when he was young. Coming home to a lovingly prepared dinner, waking to breakfast his beautiful wife made, having her visit the garage in her lunch hour, evenings curled up together on the sofa. He had anticipated those. It was the other side of it, the one he adored, that he had never bargained on.

Coming home to find your wife brewing potions, or levitating to sofa to vacuum under it was something not every husband came home to. He found it fascinating, watching her do all that. She only did it behind closed doors, the two of them deciding that it was the best way. Outside of the house, she was a muggle, inside it was a very different story.

It had taken a startlingly short amount of time for him to get used to seeing photographs move, her wand lying on the nightstand, weird and wonderful jars of…well, he didn’t want to know what was in some of them. He was never sick, her potions saw to that. Her cooking was wonderful and never got cold, thanks to her self heating magical plates. Her cleaning spells had even taken care of his stained nails and oil ruined clothes.

Life was perfect, in his opinion. Anne loved being his wife, she told him that daily. She loved him, and it still made him stop breathing for a moment every time she said it. They were complete, in every way.

Well, they were now.

“Hello, dear. Come and meet your son,” Anne called from the bed as he poked his head around the door of her room.

There was a nurse in the room with her, waiting to take the baby boy back to the nursery with the others. He moved forwards, the nurse taking the flowers to put in some water. The bear was bigger than the baby and they both laughed at it. He plonked it on the bedside cabinet and peered at the tiny bundle in her arms.

“Oh, he’s so small,” he breathed. 

The tiny little boy, barely an hour old, was staring up with unfocussed eyes. To him they looked a little amber, like Anne’s. He had soft tufts of brown hair, and ten tiny fingers clutching at his blue blanket.

“Do you want to hold him?” she said and he nodded. He sat on the bed and trembled with nerves as she carefully passed him the newborn. He was so tiny, so fragile looking he was terrified of dropping him or breaking him.

“Is he all right? I mean, he’s got everything, hasn’t he?” John asked as he stroked the tiny nose.

“Yes, he’s perfect. Ten fingers, ten toes. He has everything, including a healthy set of lungs,” she said as the baby started to scream, scaring John half to death.

“What’s wrong with him?” he panicked.

“Nothing, dear. He’s just hungry, is all. Pass him here.”

He handed the boy over and watched with awe as Anne nursed him. He was so proud of her. He had wanted to be there when the baby was born but it was probably best he wasn’t allowed. He had been enough of a nervous wreck without actually seeing it happen.

They had suffered several miscarriages over the years, and the doctors (and healers) had told them that this child would have to stay an only child. Anne had…women’s problems. It wasn’t a good idea for them to try for another. This boy was a miracle for them. Best not to push their luck.

“I’ve thought of a name for him,” Anne said as she finished winding him.

“What do you want to call him, darling? Anything you want,” he said and she beamed.

“I want to call him Remus.”

John’s brow furrowed in concentration. “That’s one of them brothers that founded Rome, raised by wolves, right?” he questioned and she nodded.

“Romulus and Remus. I think Remus is the prettier name. Our boy is a miracle, he deserves a special name.”

“It’s perfect.” He peered into the blanket as she cradled him again. “Remus Lupin.”

“Oh no,” she said lightly. “Remus John Lupin. He has to have his wonderful father in there.”

His smile was so wide it actually hurt. “Remus John Lupin. A fine name for our boy. Anne?” he said, covertly looking at the nurse. “Is he special, like you? Will he be able to go to your school?”

She smiled down at the drowsy infant. “I don’t know. He might be. We’ll have to wait and see.”

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Six year old Sirius Orion Black stamped his foot and crossed his arms. “I don’t want to and you can’t make me!” he yelled.

“You will do as you are told, young man,” his father, Canis, said sternly. “Your brother can do it. Why can’t you be more like your brother?”

Sirius scowled. He’d had that, and things like it, his whole short life. He was a disappointment to his parents, plain and simple. He didn’t mean to be, and he had tried not to be, but he just couldn’t see what was so wrong with muggles. 

His parents were always on about how much better Purebloods were, how far superior. Sirius couldn’t see it. There were a few half-blood children at his school, and a couple Muggleborns. They could do just as much magic as he could. What made him so special?

“Leave him, Canis. It’s obvious he doesn’t have the talent of Regulus.”

Sirius looked up to see his mother, Belladonna, sweeping in. She looked at him as if he were something disgusting. No matter how many times it happened, how many times she made him feel like a snivelling little leech, it still hurt. He’d heard in school that mother was the name for God on the lips of small children. He wasn’t quite sure what it meant, but he had a pretty good idea. 

All little boys wanted their mother to love them, or at the very least, to like them. His mother seemed to hate him. She never let him hug her, or kiss her. She threw away his drawings and his models. Anything he made at school got thrown away the moment his mother saw it. He wasn’t good enough for her affections, apparently, and he had never been able to work out why, except for his disagreement with their beliefs. It didn’t seem like that big a thing to punish him like this, but he was stubborn, so he refuse to change for something as simple as a hug. After all, his father said that hugs were for teddy bears, and he had plenty of those.

Belladonna swept across the room and hugged his five year old brother, Regulus. Case in point. Regulus really did think he was better than all the other children. He bought in to all that stuff. Because of his blind obedience to their parents, Regulus was the favourite son. Mother always tucked him into bed, and he always got the bigger helpings at meals. He was the pampered prince, and Sirius was second best.

“Canis, dear, he’s arrived,” Belladonna said as she took Regulus’ hand and moved to the door. The boy followed her like a little puppy on a string.

“I’ll be down in a moment.”

She cast one more disapproving look at her first born before she left the room, taking Regulus with her.

Ah yes, the dinner guest, and that was a whole other matter in itself. The man, Lord something that Sirius couldn’t pronounce, was a frequent guest in the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black. Sirius thought he was creepy, but he daren’t say that out loud. His father was an ally to him, helping him in his plans. A Death Eater his father called the ones who worked for the creepy Lord, or something like that. Sirius didn’t know what a Death Eater did, but he knew he didn’t want to be one, like his mother had planned for him. They wore weird robes and scary masks, and he had heard them talking about cursing people.

No, he definitely didn’t want to be a Death Eater.

Canis walked to his son and crouched down to his level. “Sirius, I know you don’t want to, but just do it once. Do it for me, my little dog.”

His father only called him that when he wanted something Sirius didn’t want to give. Sirius looked over to the cowering house elf. “But it’ll hurt Kreacher if I do it.”

“He’s a house elf, it doesn’t matter if you hurt him. Just do it once, and you can have some of my wine at dinner,” Canis bargained. “I’m sure James never gets to have wine. Think how grown up you’ll be.”

Sirius wavered. He really didn’t want to do it, it seemed like a nasty thing to do. But Regulus did it and his father had been proud of Regulus for it. Kreacher didn’t seem to be in any real pain from Regulus’ one. And he really did want to try some of his fathers wine, it looked very nice and his father seemed to like it an awful lot. And his father was right, James Potter, his best friend in the whole world, never got to have wine.

“All right,” the little boy sighed and his father smiled.

Canis stepped back and Sirius raised fathers wand, pointing it at the trembling creature. His bright blue eyes locked with Kreacher’s brown ones and he had to close his eyes as he said it.

“Crucio!”

Kreacher writhed in pain and Sirius bit back his tears. He wouldn’t let his father see him cry, he just wouldn’t. After a few seconds, Kreacher straightened up and bowed before he excused himself, making his way down to the kitchens. 

Canis retrieved his wand, straightened Sirius robes and smoothed his hair before he took his hand, told him how proud he was of him and led him to the dining room. 

As promised, Sirius got to have some of his fathers wine. But it didn’t taste as good as he thought it would. It didn’t taste good at all.

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As it turned out, Remus had six parents instead of four.

Remus lived with his mother and father, of course. But there were also four honorary uncles he spent a lot of his time with.

Uncle Joe, who worked with John and was forever trying to teach Remus how to fix an engine. Maybe one day he would understand that Remus was never going to be able to fix an engine, but he continued to try. Remus managed to destroy more car parts than he repaired, but Joe was persistent.

Uncle Mike, who adored taking Remus to the park and watching him tear around the playground, swinging higher than any other child on the swings, fearless on the climbing frame. Even if Remus couldn’t manage to make any friends his own age, Mike would play any game he wanted.

Uncle Chris, who fed him. He had Remus’ favourite cod and chips down to a fine art now, getting the chips at their crispiest golden brown, frying the cod until the fish was beautifully flaky and the batter so crisp it broke with a snap. He always gave Remus a free gherkin with his dinner, and he called the gherkins wally’s, which made Remus laugh.

And then there was Big Jim, the daddy of the uncles. He was the one to teach Remus to count cards and play darts and pool. He considered it a necessary skill for Remus to be able to win money in a pub, and Anne hadn’t had the heart to argue, not when Remus smiled so widely when he won and got so good with his maths because of it.

Eight year old Remus John Lupin shot out of the school gates like a bullet out of a gun. He couldn’t wait to leave. It wasn’t that he hated school. He liked the lessons, even if they were far too easy, and his teacher, even if she left him to his own devices most of the time. It was fine, really. It was just hard to like it when he had no friends. 

He had tried to make friends, he really had. But it was hard when you had a weird name, and you were years ahead in your education. He had tried explaining that his Uncle Jim had taught him maths, that when he did maths he saw playing cards in his head. And he had told them that his mother taught him to read, and he read both pages at once, one with each eye. He didn’t mean to be clever, it just happened.

He couldn’t complain really. At least they didn’t pick on him. They just ignored him. He was just grateful that the weird things didn’t happen at school. Like the time he had managed to make his bed float, or the afternoon he made it rain in the living room, or that Mothers Day he turned his daffodils into yellow butterflies by accident when he gave them to his mother.

His parents said he was special, and he would be going to a special school for children just like he was. They said he was a wizard. But he mustn’t tell anyone, it was their little secret. He couldn’t even tell his uncles, they wouldn’t understand and it wasn’t nice to confuse people. So he kept his mouth shut, and his specialness under control.

Remus never had a parent meet him at the school gates, there just wasn’t any point. He only lived around the corner and everyone on the estate knew him. Every day after school, while his mother was working in town and his father was fixing cars, he went to Uncle Chris for his tea, and then to The Shamrock to collect glasses for Uncle Jim and play games with the patrons. Mrs. Perkins from Number 27 always gave him sherbet suckers. His mother collected him about six and then he spent the evening with his mother and father.

He liked his days. On a Saturday, he spent the morning with his father and Uncle Joe and then Uncle Mike took him to the fields and kicked the ball with him, or took him to the playground and pushed him on the swings. Sundays were the best days though. Sundays he got all of them at once. His mum and dad took him to The Shamrock and all his uncles would be there, and they would all play cards and dance to the jukebox and he would beat them at pool.

“Well bless my stars, if it isn’t our little Remus. Is it time for your tea already?” Chris asked in mock surprise as Remus climbed up onto his stool at the end of the counter. Everyone on the estate knew it was Remus’ stool, and they were all used to seeing him there.

“Yes, Uncle Chris. It’s three o’clock, tea time,” Remus piped dutifully.

He was such a small boy, it was a wonder one of the big men hadn’t crushed him in a hug. He was short and skinny, with knobbly little knees and pointy little elbows. It had become Chris’ mission in life to fatten him up. Eight years with no visible success, it was a wonder he hadn’t given up.

“Well then, what’ll it be, my boy?”

“Cod and chips and a coke, please,” he reeled off, careful to remember his please at the end. His mother told him manners didn’t cost anything.

“One cod, one chips and one coke, coming right up.”

Remus quite liked the Happy Scampi Fish and Chip shop. It smelled good, like his Uncle Chris always smelled. There were big windows for him to look out of and his Uncle Chris knew just how to make his tea.

His plate was put in front of him, with a free wally, and he rattled off what he had learned in school, and how Julia Thompson had said he was weird again, and how they had a new bloke working in the school library called Maximillian and he had hair that looked like it had been zapped in a plug socket.

Chris dutifully listened to it all, reassuring his nephew that Julia was just jealous that she wasn’t as smart as he was. He liked listening to Remus prattle on about frogspawn and the latest book he had read. He didn’t like listening to all the teasing that happened, but that was only every once in a while. Remus cleared his plate and held it out to him, saying thank you. John would settle up with him on Sunday, it was the way it all worked.

All too soon for Chris’ liking, Remus was hopping down from his stool and making his way to the door, waving at him with the promise of tomorrow before he slipped out, off to The Shamrock where he would collect glasses, which he counted as he went. Jim paid him with orange juice and crisps. Anne would collect him at six and take him home, where Remus would entertain his parents with tales of his day.

It was the perfect system. Anne loved her job and John adored his. With this system, all four men got to see the little boy and he got to be treated like a little prince by all of the estate. Remus was a child that needed constant stimulation, he became bored very easily. When he was bored he usually began to try working things out. They had discovered this when he was learning to walk. He had gotten bored with his toys and decided to work out how many stairs he could tackle in The Shamrock’s back room. He had managed seven and then fallen down them. He had broken his arm, and the system had been born.

That night, as Anne was doing the dishes and Remus was reading on the living room floor, John sorely regretted calling Lord Voldemort a son of a bitch. It had happened a few days ago, while Anne was at work and Remus at school. Voldemort had come to the house.

He had tried to persuade John to give him Remus, that the boy would be better off with his own kind, not wasting away in some muggle infested sewer they called a home. John had lost his temper, and called the man a few choice names, one of them ‘a son of a bitch’. That one had seemed to upset the man more than anything else. He had left with a warning of consequences.

Remus looked up at the sound of breaking glass to see his mother thrown away from the kitchen window as a huge grey wolf leapt through it. His father was tossed aside like a rag doll as he tried to stop it. And Remus didn’t have time to run as the wolf bit his right arm, right under his shoulder.

He screamed and cried as the wolf tore at his flesh, his blood warm on his suddenly ice cold skin. It’s teeth were huge and they hurt as he tried to pull himself free. He felt for sure that the wolf was going to eat him alive, it was big enough to, and the thought flitted through his head that he really didn’t want to be wolf dinner.

John helped Anne to her feet and shoved her fallen wand into her hand. She raised it and blasted the wolf straight through the back door. It ran off into the night and Remus, his special boy, was lying on the carpet in a pool of blood, screaming.

“I’m taking him to a hospital,” John said as he scooped him up.

“No, John, you can’t!” Anne exclaimed, making him look at her like she’d lost her mind. “That was not a wolf, John, it was a werewolf, you can’t take Remus to a muggle hospital. We need magical help, I’m going to go and get it. Take him up to the bathroom and begin to clean the wound, use the orange cream in the cabinet.”

John looked from his son to his wife and nodded. She repaired the back door and the kitchen window with a wave of her wand, after a quick glance up and down the street to make sure no one was watching. She kissed each of them before she Apparated away.

John carried his son upstairs to the bathroom, sat him on the closed lid of the toilet and carefully peeled off the blood-soaked t-shirt he was wearing. It had been blue when Remus had put it on that morning. It wasn’t anymore, what was left of it. He ran a sink of hot water and gritted his teeth against his sons cries as he carefully sponged the wound clean. God, the beast had gone right through to the bone.

“Daddy, it hurts,” Remus sobbed.

“I know, Remus, I know it does. Don’t worry, my little wolf. Your mum will bring a witch or a wizard with her, and it’ll all be better then.”

Remus sniffed and managed to stop crying somewhat. His father always made him feel better. His parents had always called him their little wolf, because of his name. He quite liked being their wolf. “I didn’t want to be werewolf dinner, daddy.”

John chuckled at him. “Maybe he heard how sweet you are and wanted to have a taste,” he joked and Remus actually managed a weak smile.

Remus howled as his father rubbed the orange healing cream into his bite. It didn’t just sting this time, it burned. His father kept apologising as he rubbed it in, but it didn’t help. And the cream didn’t heal the bite either.

“Daddy, why is it still there?”

Remus stared at the red raw wound. The healing cream always worked, there was never any trace of the wound after using it. But this bite wasn’t going away.

“It is still there because it will not heal that way,” said a very old man standing in the doorway. His mother was behind him, looking worried.

“John, this is Albus Dumbledore. He can help,” Anne said. “Let him take a look at Remus.”

John stepped back and let Dumbledore at his son. He was confused and worried. This was serious for Anne to have gone and got one of her old teachers. It was really serious for her to have gone and got Dumbledore. She had told him about the old wizard. According to Anne, there was not a more powerful wizard alive. For him to be here, this was bad.

“Hello, Mr Lupin. May I take a look at your arm, where the nasty werewolf bit you?” Albus asked kindly and Remus worried his lower lip for a moment before he nodded, holding out his arm.

“Excuse me, sir, but are you like me and mum? Are you special?” Remus questioned, using the words his parents had told him to use.

Albus smiled. “Yes, I am a wizard. I teach at Hogwarts. I used to teach your mother when she was just a girl,” he replied as he carefully manipulated the arm. Oh dear, he had seen this particular bite before, on another young boy who had been forced to leave Hogwarts because of it. He conjured a bandage and wrapped it around the arm, tying the ends securely.

“Is he, Albus?” Anne said anxiously, even though she already knew the answer.

“Yes, I am afraid he is. How about we go downstairs and have some tea?”

The four of them went downstairs and sat around the kitchen table while it was all explained. Remus wasn’t sad about being a werewolf, it wasn’t such a bad thing really and it wasn’t like he could change it now, but he was heartbroken about not being able to go to Hogwarts. He wanted to go so badly, and now he couldn’t because the so called Dark Lord was a mean horrible man, and the Greyback werewolf was nasty and bit him.

Dumbledore managed to cheer him up by conjuring a bright red cage in the basement for him to use when the full moon came, so he didn’t have to worry about biting someone, and his parents came up with The Lie.

The Lie was that Remus had a rare blood disorder that flared every couple of weeks and made him very ill. It wasn’t contagious, it was something he was born with, but it was why he was so skinny, and why he would need time at home, when he was weak from the change. They had to tell the muggles around them something.

He couldn’t go to school anymore, he would have to learn at home. Probably for the best, he was getting too advanced for his teachers to handle. On the moon days, as his mother called them, he would stay in the cage and read his books. On the normal days, he would go to The Shamrock and do his lessons there. He had always learned the most with Uncle Jim teaching him. 

It wasn’t perfect, but it was better than nothing. Dumbledore explained that he mustn’t let special people see his bite, because they wouldn’t like it. And if anyone asked, he was bitten by a dog. Dumbledore told him that not many people in the Wizarding World liked werewolves, so it was for the best that he had grown up around muggles. 

As his parents tucked him into bed that night, much later than his usual bedtime, Remus hugged his teddy bear very tight. His bite itched, but he couldn’t scratch it, it hurt when he did that.

“I’m sorry, darling. I know you wanted to go to Hogwarts, but you just can’t,” Anne said, smoothing back his hair.

“I know, mum. It’s okay. I get to stay home with you and daddy and the guys. It’ll be fine. It was nice of Mr Dumbledore to come,” Remus replied and his father smiled.

“That’s because he knows how special you are,” John said.

Remus snorted. “I guess I’m really special now.”

“Very. You’re our special little wolf, always have been, always will be.”

They kissed him good night and he found himself staring up at the full moon, wondering what the next one would be like.

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Sirius glared at his brother and wished he could actually kill him and get away with it. Life would be so much easier if he could blow him up. Breakfast would be more pleasant, that’s for sure.

They were all sitting at breakfast and Regulus kept sending levitated things zooming at him behind their fathers back. Their mother, of course, was turning a blind eye, she always did with Regulus, but if Sirius retaliated, his mother would hex him into his next lifetime.

It just wasn’t fair.

“Stop it, Reg!” he snarled as a spoon hit him on the forehead.

Canis looked over the top of that mornings Prophet to glare down the table at them both. “What have I told you boys? Enough is enough of these childish games! You’re both far too old to be doing this.”

And with that, he disappeared again. A man of few words, Canis Black.

His mother was ignoring him again, his brother was annoying, Kreacher had burnt his breakfast and his father was buried in his paper. What a fine way for Sirius to spend the morning of his eleventh birthday, the rainy morning of June 13th.

“Mother, Sirius has owl post,” Regulus said.

“So what if I have? It’s none of your business, you little suck up,” Sirius snapped as he accepted the letter from the owl. It sat there and waited, so it obviously wanted a reply.

“Do not talk to your brother that way, Sirius,” Belladonna scolded, giving him a death glare as he opened the letter.

Despite the glare, a huge smile broke across Sirius’ face, and if he hadn’t been convinced of his mother wounding him for it, he would have jumped up and down in glee.

“I’m going to Hogwarts!” he cried excitedly, showing Canis the letter. He managed to stay in his seat, a small miracle in his opinion. “I’ve been accepted. Can I go, father, please, please, please, can I go?”

Canis shared a look with his wife and then looked at his hopeful eldest son. Maybe a few years in Slytherin would bring him around to the proper way of thinking. After all, his sisters girls Narcissa and Bellatrix were there. They would help Sirius straighten out.

“Give me a quill and some parchment,” he said and Sirius practically exploded with joy. 

His mother was scowling, and Regulus was looking daggers at him, but then his father sent the acceptance and nothing else mattered. He was going to Hogwarts, he was getting out of this flipping house for the better part of the year. He was going to be away from his mother and his father and Kreacher and all the creepy Pureblood inbred girls, one of which his father wanted him to marry one day. He was going to meet witches and wizards who wouldn’t care he was Pureblood, make friends who didn’t give a damn about his name. Best of all, he was going to be able to spend as much time as he liked with James.

Sirius had never had a better breakfast.

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Remus looked up to find his mother and father standing over him, with Mr Dumbledore. He smiled up at them and closed his book, putting the lid on his pen. Algebra and infinitesimal calculus. He really liked maths. It was simple, it was easy. He liked Shakespeare too, he was reading Hamlet and planned to go on to Macbeth next.

Remus spent his days sitting in The Shamrock, doing lessons well beyond his years while his parents worked. He had turned eleven back in March and it had not been the best birthday. To Remus, it had only served as a reminder that he would have to learn magic at home, that he wouldn’t get to go to Hogwarts. His birthday was also marred by day three of that months change. Not the best birthday he had ever had.

The residents of the estate all treated him as their own, and he was never short of someone to talk to. They all rather enjoyed his explanations of things they would not be able to grasp, like neurobiology and nuclear fission. They found the afternoons when he set up his chemistry set to be an entertaining, if explosive, experience. It was better for him to talk to all the adults, the children just didn’t get him. He was too mature for them, too clever, too quiet. It never bothered him, he couldn’t get along with them either. He had grown up fast, because of his condition. He had worries they didn’t, but the adults in his life understood just how complicated life could be.

Remus was a sensible little boy, he wasn’t the type to abuse their trust. If he found money in the bar, he handed it straight to Jim. If someone dropped something, he would pick it up for them. He was forever holding open doors for the ladies of the estate and helping Jim pass drinks around. He was the only child on the estate Jim trusted to handle pints and spirits, he was guaranteed that Remus wouldn’t touch a drop, unlike some of the little terrors.

“Hello, Mr Dumbledore,” Remus said politely. 

“Hello, Mr Lupin. I wonder if I could have a little chat with you?” Albus said.

Remus nodded and piled up his things, carrying them over to Big Jim at the end of the bar. If Remus moved from his little table to go and talk with someone, or play pool, or out to get his lunch from Chris, Jim took his things so they wouldn’t be lost or ruined with a spilt drink.

Anne, Albus, John and Remus took a little table in the corner, away from prying eyes and the three adults smiled at him.

“Remus, Albus has been made headmaster of Hogwarts,” John said.

“Congratulations, Mr Dumbledore,” Remus said obediently. When someone had something good happen for them, you congratulated. His parents had taught him all the polite responses, and he was even able to sound genuine with them.

“Thank you, Mr Lupin, that is very nice of you to say. But I am not here to talk about me. I am here to offer you a very special birthday gift,” Albus said and Remus blushed.

“Thank you, sir, but you didn’t have to get me anything.”

“Oh, it is my pleasure to give it to you. I think you will rather enjoy it, though I apologise for it being a few months late,” the old wizard said.

“That doesn’t matter, it’s the thought that counts. What is it?” Remus asked.

“How would you like to come to Hogwarts this September?”

Remus’ jaw dropped. He couldn’t believe what he had just heard. Go to Hogwarts? Actually physically go to Hogwarts? It wasn’t possible, not with his condition, as his family called it. He couldn’t go, he knew that. He had put away hopes of going the day he was bitten. He still had his dreams, and the stories his mother told him, but they were nothing but a fantasy to him.

“I’m sorry, sir, but can you repeat that, please? I don’t think I heard you right.”

“I am offering you a place at Hogwarts. I have figured out a way for you to attend without anyone knowing about your condition.”

Remus was intrigued. “How, sir?”

Albus smiled. “I am having a house built in the village near the school, and a tunnel leading from the Hogwarts grounds to the house. When it is completed, a Whomping Willow will be planted over the entrance to the tunnel. During your changes, the school nurse and I will take you through the tunnel, and you will stay in the house for the three days. You will continue to tell people you were bitten by a dog, if they see your mark, and we will tell people some lie or other, to explain your absences. Perhaps your mother is ill and you must go home to see her, or you are ill, or something else along those lines. It is entirely possible for you to attend, if you wish to,” Albus described.

Remus didn’t know what to say. It was everything he had ever wanted, right there for him to have, all he had to do was say yes. His parents were smiling, it was as if they wanted him to go. They probably did, they knew how badly he wanted this. And his uncles would be so happy for him, they knew he should be able to go, if it wasn’t for his condition. 

There was just one thing stopping him from saying yes.

“What if I bite someone by accident? What if they stumbled across me one moon and I bit them?” he said worriedly. “I don’t want that, it would be horrible if someone had to go through this because of me.”

Albus smiled at him once more, and Remus noticed that his eyes twinkled. He found it reassuring, and he thought it made it seem like the man knew a secret.

“That is the purpose of the Whomping Willow,” the old wizard said. “No one will be able to get past it. You will not bite someone, I would not be inviting you if there was a danger of such a thing.”

“Well, I suppose if there’s no problem of me biting someone, and you wouldn’t mind all the trouble of taking care of me, I really would like to come to Hogwarts, Mr Dumbledore. If it’s all right,” he said timidly. He didn’t dare speak too loudly, just in case it was one of his fantastical dreams.

“I would love to have you as a student, Mr Lupin. Seeing as you are going to be one of my students, I think it would be best if I was now Professor Dumbledore.”

“Of course, Professor.”

Dumbledore clapped his hands together and beamed at them all before he extracted an envelope from his pocket. He handed it to Remus.

“Your Hogwarts letter of acceptance, and a list of all the things you will need for your first year with us. With that, I shall take my leave. I have a very special student to prepare for. Good day to you.”

And with that, he left. Remus opened his letter with shaking fingers and read it through. He had a place at Hogwarts. He…was going…to Hogwarts.

He smiled at his parents, who nodded. He gave his mother his letter before he raced off to the bar and climbed up onto a stool.

“Uncle Jim! Uncle Jim! Uncle Jim!”

“My, my, what’s got you all fired up all of a sudden, son?” 

“I can go to school! The headmaster just came and told me that he’s made arrangements so I can go to mums old school!” Remus half yelled. As he said it, Jim gave him the biggest smile he had ever seen. It probably matched his own.

“Annie, is this true? Can our bright as a button boy go to a school that will actually be able to teach him something he doesn’t know?” Jim called across the pub.

“Yes, it’s true. The school is called Hogwarts and it is a boarding school for gifted children. We thought Remus wouldn’t be able to go, with his illness, but Headmaster Dumbledore has made special arrangements for him. Remus begins in September,” she announced to the packed bar.

There was a moment of silence, before the whole place went up in a cheer of celebration. Remus found himself spending the afternoon surrounded by his uncles, and his parents, and all the faces he had grown up with, all of them telling him how proud they were of him.

Remus considered it the best day of his whole life.

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Remus giggled at his fathers excitement. It was always the same, every time they went shopping with his mother.

They were in Diagon Alley, Remus and Anne and John, list in hand. So far, all they had done was make it through the archway. Even that had made his father exclaim it was incredible. His father said that every single time they went to Diagon Alley.

Remus thought his father might be more excited than he was about Hogwarts. He kept gushing about how special Remus was, about what a good time he would have at school. It was nice to have his father smile like that, it was a while since he had done it.

They made their way down the street, first visiting Gringotts and then purchasing all the necessary equipment. There was a cauldron and a telescope and a set of weighing scales. His mother proclaimed that his wand would be the last thing they bought, as it would take the longest. Remus didn’t understand what she meant, but he would soon find out so he didn’t question it. They bought a very nice wooden trunk for him to take his things in, and his mother had the shopkeeper carve his name in the lid. It was quite plain, very little decoration, and Remus liked it. He hadn’t liked the elaborate ones in the shop, they made him slightly dizzy.

“Oh, go on then. Here’s the list, give it to the sales witch and she’ll gather them all up for you. Take these galleons before you speed off, you can’t get them without money,” Anne said and John practically whizzed off to the moon with enthusiasm. She passed him Remus’ book list and a small pouch of money and he gave them a smile before he made his way through the crowds to Flourish and Blotts.

“He’s loving all this, isn’t he?” Remus asked and she smiled down at him.

“He’s loved Diagon Alley since the very first time I brought him here. Your father loves magic, he thinks were the most special people in the world because we can do it,” she explained. “Now, I’m going to give you this pouch of money and you’re going to go and get your uniform in Madame Malkin’s. I’m going to go and get your potions ingredients while your father can’t see, it makes him squeamish.”

“Okay.”

He accepted the small bag and put it in his pocket before he weaved his way through the milling people to Madame Malkin’s. He was smaller than everyone else and he kept getting hit by their bags, so it was a relief to step inside.

“Hello, dear. Hogwarts, First Year?” asked the friendly looking witch.

“Yes, ma’am.”

“All right, my dear, back here. We’ll get you all measured up. Got another one being measured too.”

Remus stepped up onto the stool and sniggered at how much smaller he was than the other boy. His head only came up to his shoulder. The boy had the blackest hair he had ever seen, it almost shone blue. Oh wait, it did shine blue when he moved his head. And his eyes were the blue of a clear summer sky.

“Hello. I’m Remus Lupin,” he said, holding out his hand.

“I’m Sirius Black, it’s nice to meet you, Remus,” he replied, taking the hand and shaking it. “Are you going to Hogwarts too?”

Remus couldn’t reply for a moment as the witch dropped a huge robe over his head, and then sighed before she pulled it straight back off. “Oh dear. You’re such a small one, dearie, I’ll have to find a smaller robe to pin. Stay there, my love.”

She bustled away and Sirius sniggered, and then blushed in embarrassment. “I’m sorry, it’s rude of me to laugh.”

“It’s okay, I don’t mind you laughing. My uncles laugh all the time. I’m used to it. I’ve always been small, it doesn’t bother me,” Remus reassured. “And yes, I am going to Hogwarts.”

“Brilliant. Are you here with your parents?”

“Yes, they’re off getting my books and potions ingredients. Are your parents here?”

“Just my father, he’s getting my books. My mother stayed at home with my brother.”

“You have a brother?” Remus asked after a smaller robe was dropped over his head.

“Yes. His name is Regulus, he’s a year younger than me. Why? Don’t you have any brothers?” Sirius said, wincing as he was stabbed by a pin.

“No. I’m an only child.”

“Consider yourself lucky, they’re a right pain in the neck,” the taller boy said and Remus smiled.

They were quiet for a while as their robes were pinned and adjusted and then they stood together as the rest of their uniforms were made up.

“What are you?” Sirius blurted out and Remus paled. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked that, it was really rude. It’s none of my business.”

“It’s all right. My mum says you don’t know if you don’t ask. What did you mean, what am I?” Remus said, careful of the words he chose. The boy could be asking about anything, it didn’t automatically mean his illness.

“Well…ummm…I’m a Pureblood…”

Sirius didn’t need to say anything more. “I’m half. Well, I think I am. My mum’s a Muggleborn witch and my dad’s a full muggle, not a drop of magic in anyone but me and my mum. That makes me half-blood, right?”

Sirius couldn’t believe his luck. He had wanted to meet someone like Remus, someone who could prove his parents wrong. Most of all, he had wanted to meet a wizard who didn’t care about his name or blood status. Remus hadn’t done a double take at his name, or sneered at him for being a Pureblood.

“I think so. I’ve never met anyone like you before. My whole family are Purebloods. Well, almost,” Sirius revealed.

“Really?” sad Remus. He was just as fascinated by Sirius as Sirius was by him. He had never met a wizard his own age. He had never had a good conversation with anyone his own age.

“Yes. I have a cousin who married a Muggleborn, but that’s it, I think.” He worried his lip for a moment. “Remus?”

“Yes?”

“Would you like to ride the train to Hogwarts with me and my friend James?”

Remus grinned. He and his parents had already worked out that the moon wasn’t until halfway through September. He could take the train, and he could hardly wait. His mother made it sound like so much fun. She was even going to give him a bag of Wizarding money to buy some sweets from the trolley.

“I’d really like that,” Remus said and Sirius smiled. He thought it might be the prettiest smile he’d ever seen. It made the boys whole face light up, and his eyes seemed to shine. It was far better than his nervous look.

“That’s you done, Master Black. Am I charging it to your family vault?” the witch asked and Sirius nodded, accepting his packages.

“I’ll see you on the train, Remus,” Sirius said and waited for his nod before he left the shop with a wave. 

Remus could see Sirius’ father through the window. He was a very tall, very stern looking man. It didn’t look like he had ever smiled, and Sirius didn’t seem very happy to be with him. They had a strange little creature with them, carrying all the packages. It didn’t look happy either.

He paid for his uniform and waited in one of the chairs until someone came to get him. He wasn’t about to go wandering off, it wasn’t the right thing to do. This was not the estate, he wasn’t amongst family here. He had to be careful, like he was taught to be away from home. His father arrived, carrying a pile of books wrapped in brown paper and tied with string. He was still unspeakably cheerful and it made Remus smile.

“Got everything?” John asked as he sat down beside his son.

“Yes, I got everything. Mum’s gone for potions ingredients.”

John shuddered. “How about an ice cream while we wait for her?”

Remus nodded and together they enjoyed chocolate orange sundaes with hazelnuts. “I made a friend, dad,” Remus said and his father smiled. “Well, I think he’s my friend. We’re going to take the train together, so you and mum don’t have to worry about me sitting alone all journey.”

John sniggered guiltily. He and Anne really had to be more careful about what Remus might overhear. Their son didn’t eavesdrop, it wasn’t in his nature. But they did forget he was in the room with them sometimes, he was just so damn quiet.

“Does this friend have a name?” he enquired.

“Sirius Black and his whole family are magical and he’s a Pureblood, and he has a brother called Regulus.”

“Who has a brother called Regulus?”

They looked up to see Anne standing over them with more than just potions ingredients. Remus’ mother was holding a cage, which contained a beautiful black owl.

“A new owl? I thought you didn’t want a new one after Merlin died,” Remus said, pushing a nut from his ice cream through the bars for the bird, who hooted its thanks.

“Oh, this bird isn’t for me, darling. He’s for you, so you can take him with you to school and write to us, let us know how you’re getting on,” she said, handing him the cage. “Your father and I thought you deserved something special for getting in to Hogwarts.”

He put it on the table and gazed at the bird. It was absolutely beautiful, and it was his. He hadn’t considered a pet, it was something that had never in his life crossed his mind. He didn’t know why, he just hadn’t thought about it. But here it was, a beautiful black owl all of his own.

He threw his arms around Anne and smiled up at John. “Thank you,” he exclaimed. “He’s beautiful, I love him.”

His parents smiled. Remus filled his mother in on Sirius as they made their way to Ollivander’s for his wand, his father carrying the packages and his mother carrying the owl. Remus was just too small to carry them and make it through the crowds in one piece.

Ollivander’s was a dark dusty shop and Remus felt like electricity was dancing along his skin. It was quiet like the library, and he liked it. There were shelves and shelves of long thin boxes, and a very spindly chair by the door. His mother sat in the chair and waited, though he didn’t know what she was waiting for. His father looked around the shop with him.

“Miss Graham, what a pleasant surprise to see you. I had thought I never would again,” came a voice and Remus stared all around the room for it. He jumped as a man appeared behind him, apparently from no where. “Ten inches, birch, nice wand for transfiguration work.”

“It’s nice to see you too, Mr Ollivander,” Anne said. “I’m Mrs. Lupin now, and I’ve come so my Remus can get his wand.”

“Ah yes, Albus did mention something about a special student coming to see me soon. I cannot think of a more special child than your son, my dear.” He looked down at Remus, who offered a small smile. “How nice to meet you, Mr Lupin.”

“Hello, Mr Ollivander,” Remus said, offering his hand. Ollivander took it and gave it a squeeze. “It’s nice to meet you too.”

Ollivander turned to John. “How nice to meet a muggle excited by our world as much as you. Always such a rare indulgence for me,” he said, shaking John’s hand.

Remus found himself attacked by a tape measure while Ollivander pulled several of the boxes from the shelves. His mother smiled encouragingly as he tried each of them. It took several hours, and he knew now what his mother meant by it taking the longest. The sun was starting to set by the time he actually found the right one. Mr Ollivander told him it was the wand that chose the wizard. He wondered if one was ever going to chose him.

He picked up wand twelve hundred and twenty three and a warmth spread through his whole arm. He gave it a wave and managed to make the cash register float a few inches, which made the three adults clap.

“I should have found it sooner,” Ollivander said, shaking his head. “It seems so obvious now. Cherry wood, thirteen and a quarter inch, unicorn tail hair and the tip of a thestral feather. One of the more unusual wands I’ve made. Perfect for Defence Against the Dark Arts, I should think. Light for the most part, very sweet, with the slightest tickle of darkness. The perfect wand for a sweet little werewolf.”

Remus stared open mouthed in his shock, and his parents were stiff with terror. Oh God, if Mr Ollivander told anyone, his chance at Hogwarts would be over before it started. “You…you know about me, sir?” he whispered.

“Yes, Mr Lupin, I do know. It is clear from your wand, and from the way you look, the pale skin, the thinness. I have helped many of your kind find their wands. I recognise a werewolf when I see one. My godson shares your condition. I assure you that your secret is safe with me,” he guaranteed and all three Lupin’s breathed a sigh of relief.

They paid for his wand and gathered up all their purchases, securing them all inside Remus’ trunk, which Anne shrunk and put in her pocket. John took hold of the owl, who had yet to gather a name. As they opened the door, Remus spun around and slowly made his way back to the counter. Ollivander leaned down to listen to him.

“Thank you, sir,” Remus whispered. “Thank you for my wand, and your silence. I really do want to go to Hogwarts.”

“You are very welcome, Mr Lupin. You will have a wonderful time there, and we will surely be seeing great things from you,” the man said and waved as Remus left with his parents.

When they returned home, Remus took his owl and raced around to The Shamrock to show his uncles. The men considered it an odd way of communication, but it seemed to suit the special little boy. He was never one to do things like other children.

As he slipped off to sleep that night, Remus stared at his wand and wondered if Mr Ollivander was right. Was he really going to show them great things? He hoped so. He had been given the chance of a lifetime, and he didn’t intend to waste it.

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

The first of September was a bright sunny day, and Remus enjoyed the drive to Kings Cross. His mother had helped him pack his trunk the night before, and she had made him a blanket for his bed at school, in case he got homesick. His father had spent most of the summer dissuading his uncles from accompanying them to the train, and he had only succeeded yesterday by telling them that Remus didn’t want them to see him get all teary as he said goodbye.

Anne was trying to stay positive, but it was hard when her only child was going to be away for months. John had given her big points for her offer to Remus. She had told the boy that they wouldn’t be offended or upset if he chose not to come home during the Christmas and Easter breaks. She had been lying, of course, it would break her heart if her boy didn’t come home for Christmas, but she accepted that this was all new and exciting for her son, and Christmases at Hogwarts were wonderful.

It took Remus a full twenty minutes to get settled on the train, sat by the window in a compartment by himself. He hadn’t seen any sign of Sirius, but the platform had been packed so he wasn’t worried. His trunk was stowed away in the overhead rack by John, his backpack was laden with books to read and money for the trolley by Anne, and his owl had a very secure perch in his cage. Anne set him up with bottles of water for the journey and she stuffed his pockets with tissues. In the end, Remus had begged his father to make her stop, and, after a few tearful hugs and kisses, John managed to persuade Anne that it was time.

And finally, the train began to move and he was on his way. 

Remus was soon joined in his compartment by a little blond boy who seemed very shy and sat in the middle of the seat opposite, buried in a book. They were then joined by a crying girl being consoled by a boy with black hair. They sat on either side of the door. Remus said a polite hello to each of them and then buried himself in War and Peace once more.

“She hates me! My big sister hates me!” the girl cried. She had auburn hair and, when she turned her head, Remus noticed that she had very green eyes. 

“She’ll come around,” the black haired boy said. He was very thin and had black eyes. He was very pale too. Remus would have wondered if he was a werewolf, if he hadn’t known he was the only one in the whole school.

“No, she won’t!”

Remus didn’t want to butt in, it wasn’t any of his business really, but she was so upset. She seemed really distraught and he wanted to help. He pulled a wad of tissues from his pocket and held them out to the girl. 

“Thank you,” she said, accepting them and using them to mop up her tears.

“You’re welcome. He’s right, you know,” Remus said and she looked at him in question. “Your sister doesn’t hate you. It’s very hard to actually hate someone. Was she angry when she said it?”

The girl nodded.

“Then it was just the heat of the moment. She’ll come around, she didn’t really mean it. Just give her time to cool off and you can try talking to her again. She’s your sister, she loves you. Just give her some time and it’ll all work out, you’ll see.”

She offered him a watery smile. “Thank you. I’m Lily, Lily Evans.”

“Remus Lupin. Who’s your friend?” he asked, putting his book on the table beside his water.

“I’m Severus Snape,” said the boy.

“Peter Pettigrew,” the blond boy offered after some gentle coaxing.

Remus had a mass of questions for them, but he didn’t get to ask. At that moment a boy with messy black hair and glasses poked his head in the door.

“I’m sorry, but I’m looking for a boy called Remus Lu-something,” he said.

“I’m Remus Lupin. Am I the one you’re looking for?”

“Yes, you’re the one.” The messy head was pulled back and he yelled down the train. “Oi! I found him!”

A moment later Remus smiled as Sirius came into view. “You still want to take the train together?” he asked and Remus nodded.

“Come and join us, the more the merrier.”

The two boys moved in and Sirius sat down opposite him, leaving the other boy to sit beside Remus.

“Sorry I didn’t find you before, it was a bit hectic,” Sirius said. “This is James Potter, my best mate. James, this is Remus Lupin.”

The two of them shook hands and Remus introduced the rest of his compartment mates. James seemed very interested in Lily.

“Blimey, you like to get a head start, don’t you?” James said, staring at Remus’ War and Peace.

Remus sniggered at their looks of disbelief when he told them it was reading for fun, not school. Their jaws dropped when he revealed he had already finished all his school books. He had found them very interesting.

“But it’s huge! When did you start reading it?” Sirius asked, weighing it in his hands.

“Yesterday afternoon. I’m only halfway through, so I probably won’t be finished until sometime tonight,” he replied honestly as it was returned to its place on the table and their jaws dropped once more.

“How is that possible? That can’t be possible,” Severus said. “How can you read so fast?”

Remus suddenly had the horrible thought that maybe he shouldn’t have said anything. This was how he had isolated himself in primary school, when he had gone to school. So far no one had made fun of his name, and he was very glad of that. But this was not just a name, this was something that made him different, set him apart.

So, instead of saying anything, he shrugged and picked at the hem of his long sleeved shirt.

Sirius watched him shrug and considered that Remus had probably not had the best luck with kids his own age. He had seen it before, so had James. Children who had grown up fast, spent a lot of time with adults, had a special something that set them apart. Sirius had experienced it in his own family. Considering the size of the book, the way Remus spoke, the politeness he had displayed, he thought it was probably something to be proud of that was making Remus so embarrassed. He had probably been teased about it.

“You’re clever, aren’t you?” Sirius said and Remus looked at him in surprise. “It’s okay, you know, if you are. We won’t tease you for it.”

Sirius smiled encouragingly at him, as did James, and they waited patiently for Remus to tell them how he got through it so fast.

“I read two pages at once,” he said shyly.

Okay, that was a new one. Sirius had never heard that one before, and a quick glance at James confirmed that he hadn’t either.

“What do you mean?” James asked.

Remus took a deep breath. “Well, when I read I look at two pages at the same time, one with each eye. My mum says it looks like I’m staring at the fold in between the pages, but I’m not. I’m reading both at the same time.”

“That is so cool,” Peter said. “I wish I could do that. Do you remember what you read?”

“Yes, I remember everything I read.”

“Lucky. I can barely remember a thing,” Peter said miserably. 

The conversation flowed smoothly after that. Remus found out quite a lot about his companions families. James and Sirius had been friends since they were four, their fathers both worked at the Ministry. Peter’s family was very over protective, he’d had dragon pox as a small boy and almost died. The three of them were all Pureblood’s, and apparently swimming in money. Lily was Muggleborn and her Irish father worked for a newspaper, taking photographs. Severus was like Remus, kept his mouth shut about his family. Remus didn’t know Severus’ reason for keeping quiet, but his was simple. He didn’t want to start lying on the very first day. If he opened his mouth about his family and his home, he’d have to start with the lies. His friends couldn’t know the real reason why he had been forced to leave school, and why he was so ill.

“What about you, Remus?” Lily asked. “What’s your family like?”

He took a deep breath, ready to start on the lies, hating himself for it already, but he was saved by two girls poking their head around the door. One was a brunette with dark eyes and the other was a blonde with ice blue eyes. They were already in their uniforms, which bore the Slytherin crest, and they fixed Sirius with a disgusted stare.

“There you are. What are you doing in here? Uncle Canis told you to sit with us,” said the brunette girl.

“I’ll sit where I like,” Sirius said angrily. “You can’t tell me what to do and he’s not here.”

The brunette had to be soothed by the blonde so she didn‘t jump him. “Keep a civil tongue, you little bastard,” the brunette snarled.

“I’ll say what the hell I like, Bellatrix. No one’s here to stop me.”

“You keep on like this and we will,” said the blonde.

“Oh really? And how will you do that, Narcissa? Get your little boyfriend to hex me? I’d like to see him beat me in a fight,” Sirius said and James shot him a warning glance.

The two girls looked around the cabin and Bellatrix fixed her eyes on Remus. “What are you?” she asked.

“What he is, is none of your business,” James spat.

“Oh look, little Potter has a tongue in his head. Makes a change, doesn’t it, Bella? Snivelling little shit usually can’t say a word to us,” said Narcissa.

Remus wanted to know what the hell was going on, but it wasn’t the right time to open his mouth. James and Sirius looked ready to curse the two witches into next week and he didn’t doubt that they could. He really didn’t want to be the cause of a fight.

“I’ve had enough of this. Let the little prick do what he wants, it’s his neck. Any of you little ones want to be in Slytherin?” Bellatrix asked them all.

Severus perked up immediately and Sirius wanted to throttle him. He had been sitting with a little snake all this time, something he had wanted to avoid at all costs. Why hadn’t he asked the same question? James shot him another warning glance and he stared out of the window, ignoring the whole thing.

“I want to be in Slytherin,” Severus said and the two girls smiled at him.

“Are you a Pureblood?” Narcissa questioned.

“My mum is.”

“What about your father?” grilled Bellatrix.

“A muggle,” he said disgustedly.

“You don’t like your father?” 

“No. He’s not very nice.”

The two smiled at him again, and Remus decided he didn’t like that smile. It gave him the heebie jeebies, as Uncle Joe called it. “Come on then, you can sit with some real witches and wizards, we’ll show you the proper way to behave in Hogwarts,” said Narcissa and Severus sprung to his feet, joining them in the corridor without even a glance at anyone, not even Lily. “Anyone else?”

They all sat quietly shaking their heads and Bellatrix moved into the cabin. She grabbed Remus by the wrist and hauled him to his feet. He was so small, he barely reached her elbow. James and Sirius leapt to their feet, as did Peter as Bellatrix dragged him to the door. He didn’t dare fight back, he was too strong for that. She would go flying and he would be done for. His parents had told him to act the way he did around his uncles, and he would stick to that.

“What are you?” Bellatrix asked him again and Remus looked to the three Pureblood boys. They looked furious, but Sirius gave him a nod to answer her.

“My mum’s a Muggleborn witch and my dad’s a muggle,” Remus said nervously. “Why? I didn’t know it mattered.”

“I’m a Pureblood and your superior, you little mudblood.”

“How does that make you my superior?” he questioned. He ignored the word, he could find out what it meant later. He didn’t understand, and he did what he always did, he tried to find the information he was lacking.

She slapped him hard across the face and Sirius caught him as he went hurtling across the compartment. James and Peter shoved her into the hall and she sneered at them, muttering ‘mudblood’ once more before she left, Narcissa and Severus following her, though Severus didn’t look so excited about going anymore.

Peter slammed the door shut and Sirius guided Remus to his seat again. His lip was split where her nail had caught him and his face was burning but he jerked his head away as Sirius tried to press a tissue to his bloody mouth.

“I’m not going to hurt you, Remus, I promise,” he said gently. “Hold still.”

“I know, I’m sorry. It’s not you, it’s me, reflex action,” Remus said as he held still and let Sirius mop him up. They were all looking at him weirdly, and he knew they were wondering why he pulled away. He may as well just get it over with. “I have a problem with my blood.”

There, he had said it now, he couldn’t take it back. It wasn’t really a lie, there was something wrong with it. He had to explain why he pulled away, and one slap around the face could not explain it. The effect of those seven little words was instantaneous. Sirius pulled his hand away and James peered worriedly at the bloodied tissue in his hand. Peter even backed up a step and Lily looked nervous of him now.

“Don’t worry, you can’t catch it. I was born with it,” Remus reassured and they smiled at him. “What does it mean, what she called me?”

Sirius growled as he grabbed Remus’ bottle of water and soaked a fresh tissue with it. He didn’t want to use spells on him, not until he knew what was wrong with his blood. It could make him really sick, he had to be careful of what he cast on him. He cleaned up the blood from his face, but he just wouldn’t stop bleeding. It was gushing from the tiny little cut, literally pouring from his lip.

“Why won’t it stop?” Lily asked terrifiedly. 

“It’s me,” Remus said calmly and pulled another tissue from his pocket, pressing it to where he was bleeding. It took him a while to stop bleeding, he needed healing charms to help him do it with any real speed. It made mornings after his change a messy business. It had a good point though, werewolf slow healing time. It was perfect to fit in with The Lie. It was just a good thing his skin wasn’t as delicate as it looked. He knew, from his reading, that a human would not be able to bite him, something about the human oral structure made piercing his skin with their teeth an impossibility. Apparently, human fingernails did not have the same problem. He knew he couldn’t infect her this way, that would only happen if he bit her, which he didn’t plan on doing. Apart from anything, he didn’t think she’d taste very nice.

“That’s what’s wrong with my blood. Something about my blood, a deficiency in it, means it doesn’t work as well as it should. It takes me a long time to stop bleeding, and I get ill every few weeks because of it. I get tired and weak, but it passes. Professor Dumbledore arranged for me to be taken care of when it’s bad.”

The four of them nodded at him and he sat back, waiting for it to stop. He already knew they’d be waiting for at least an hour, maybe two, and he would have a spectacular bruise on his cheek come the arrival at Hogwarts.

“Can’t they cure it?” Peter asked.

“No. They’ve tried, but nothing works. It’s okay, I’m used to it. I’ll stop bleeding in a bit, you’ll see. You didn’t answer me, Sirius. What did it mean, the word she used?”

Sirius threw himself back into his seat. What a perfect way to start his time at Hogwarts, his bitch cousin hitting his new friend.

“Mudblood is a nasty word for someone Muggleborn or half-blood. My family is obsessed with blood purity, they’re convinced Purebloods are better,” he said eventually. “Mudblood means dirty blood. It’s not usually a term one hears in civilised company. I’m so sorry, Remus. I should have been faster, got to you before she did.”

“It’s all right, can’t be helped now. Who are they?”

“My cousins. They’re both Slytherin’s and the apples of my fathers eye. Canis, the uncle they were talking about, is my father. Do you remember me telling you about the cousin I have that married a Muggleborn?” Remus nodded. “Their big sister Andromeda. She married Ted Tonks and my family disowned her. Bella hit you because you asked why she was superior.”

“I don’t understand. I wasn’t being cheeky, I was curious,” Remus said, pulling a mirror from his bag. Anne really had included everything. He pulled the tissue away, held up the mirror and gingerly pressed the wound. It continued to bleed, so he grabbed a clean tissue and continued to press it. Oh, this was ridiculous. He couldn’t talk through a tissue for the next two hours. “Before you explain that, can you do any healing charms?”

“Yeah, I’m really good at them. Is it all right to use them on you?” Sirius asked pulling out his wand.

“It’s fine. I’ll feel a little queasy afterwards, but it’s better than the bleeding. You’ll have to be quick once I pull the tissue away. It’ll flow pretty fierce.”

Sirius nodded and cast the quickest charm in his whole life as the tissue was pulled away. It healed and Remus looked a little green. The smaller boy pulled a small tub of healing balm out of his bag and began to rub the orange cream into the bruise already dark on his pale cheek. As his hand moved, Sirius noticed that there was another one on his wrist, where Bellatrix had grabbed him.

“Bella thought you were being cheeky. She thinks she so fucking superior, excuse my language,” James explained. “To her, and quite a few other Purebloods, they are superior. My family don’t give a damn, to them magic is magic. But Sirius’ family care a lot. Best to avoid them if you can. He’ll point out the nice and nasty ones.”

Remus nodded and looked around. Peter was still angry, he could tell by the scowl. But Lily was terrified by his bleeding. She was staring at his face and, for some reason, his wrist. He looked down at it and sniggered.

“Did I mention that I bruise really easily? Probably best if I don’t go in for Quidditch, I might pass for a work of art.”

It broke the ice and all of them laughed. Remus didn’t hesitate this time in telling them of his uncles, of his home and it made him feel so much lighter. He knew he was lying to them, but he just couldn’t bring himself to care. They were his friends, and nothing else mattered at that moment.

Sirius couldn’t believe his luck. Remus and Peter and Lily were still talking to him after meeting his cousins. Severus didn’t return, and he was extremely happy about that. If he wanted to be a Slytherin, Sirius didn’t want anything to do with him. 

Lily and James did not hit it off. They bickered right from the get go, and it became the backdrop to the journey. It didn’t seem like those two would ever get along. They griped about everything to do with the other, and nitpicked until their throats were raw. 

When the trolley arrived, they pooled their money and bought enough sweets to sink the Titanic, though only Lily understood that reference from Remus. They spent the rest of the journey munching their way through their body weights in chocolate frogs and every flavour beans and liquorish wands. As they drew close to Hogwarts, the boys turned around so Lily could change, and then she turned around so they could change.

Remus had to remove his shirt to change into his uniform, but he really did not want to. They would see his mark, and he would have to tell another lie. Dumbledore had assured him that no first year would know what the mark was, and by the time they figured it out the lie would be firmly in place. He didn’t want them to see it. If he was honest with himself, it wasn’t the lie that bothered him. It was the mark. He was ashamed of it, of what it meant. He was different, and his mark was clear proof of that.

“You have to change, Remus,” James said when he noticed Remus hadn’t changed his shirt. He had changed his trousers and his shoes, but he was still wearing his blue shirt. Apart from anything, Remus’ shirt had blood on it.

“Could…ummm…can you turn around?” Remus requested.

They stared at him. They were all boys, he didn’t have anything they hadn’t seen before, right? What could be the problem?

“We’re not going to laugh because you’re skinny,” Peter said reassuringly.

“It’s not that.”

“Then what is it?” Sirius asked. Lily turned around cautiously and joined in with the confused stares.

Remus sighed and removed his shirt. “It’s this,” he said and their jaws dropped.

“Merlin, what happened to you?” Sirius breathed, moving a little closer so he could get a better look.

“I was bitten by a dog when I was little. It’s how they diagnosed my illness, it wouldn’t stop bleeding,” he said quietly, hanging his head as he blushed a furious shade of red, hugging himself.

Sirius took a deep breath and picked up Remus’ school shirt, James packing away the bloodied one for him. They had grown up around inbred Pureblood children with more health problems than most. Peter himself had a problem with his digestive tract, his parents had been cousins before they married. The two of them were amongst the lucky few, there was no inbreeding in their veins. They had seen kids like Remus their whole lives, kids ashamed of scars and embarrassed by illnesses. They knew just how to handle him, and by the looks Lily and Peter were giving Remus, they knew too.

“Remus, can we catch your blood disorder?” Sirius asked.

“No,” Remus answered, staring at him in uncertainty.

“Does it automatically make you a Slytherin?” James questioned, narrowing his eyes in a suspicious gaze, and Remus laughed as he shook his head.

“Not that I know of.”

“Does the scar hurt?” Peter piped in.

“No, it’s just there.”

“Is your illness or the scar going to stop you being a student at Hogwarts? Because, you know, I want to know now if I’m spending all this time making friends with you if you’re not going to be here more than five minutes,” Lily said bluntly.

“I’m here for the seven years if I don’t get expelled.”

They all looked at each other before Sirius shoved his shirt at him. “Then get dressed. Me and James are aiming for Gryffindor, like his family. Where you aiming?”

“Anywhere but Slytherin, they don’t seem very nice,” Remus said as he finished getting dressed.

“Good man,” Sirius said, slinging an arm around his shoulders.

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The Great Hall was huge. Remus wished he had about a dozen more eyes, because he wanted to look everywhere at once. There were so many witches and wizards, all about his age. There were four long tables filled with students and one long one at the top of the hall, where Professor Dumbledore was sitting with the other professors. As they all lined up to be Sorted, like Professor McGonagall told them to, and the hat sung a song, Remus looked upwards. Above him were floating candles, and past that he could see the sky.

As Bethany Albans was called to be Sorted, he nudged James, who was standing beside him.

“Where’s the ceiling?” he whispered.

James glanced up and smiled. “That is the ceiling. It’s bewitched to look like the sky outside,” he explained quietly as Bethany became the first Hufflepuff.

Remus nodded and stood silently, waiting for his turn. Sirius Black was the first of his new friends to be Sorted. The hat sat there on his head for a few seconds before it yelled ‘GRYFFINDOR!’ Sirius gave a huge smile and made his way over to the smiling table of students. Remus noticed that the Slytherin table didn’t look very happy about Sirius’ placement.

Lily Evans was the next of the six compartment companions to be Sorted. She too was a Gryffindor. Then came a boy with ginger hair called Mundungus Fletcher, who became the first Ravenclaw. A few more students went by, and then it was Remus Lupin’s turn.

Sirius watched as his friend walked to the stool. He had chosen to sit with his back to the Slytherin’s, so he was spared the death glares and looks of disappointment. There was a space either side of him, no one wanted to sit next to a Black who, by all rights, should have gone straight to Slytherin. He couldn’t care less really. Nothing they could do now, and it wasn’t like he’d chosen Gryffindor. The hat chose for him. He could still hear its words in his head.

[No other place for you, not a question about it. Your family won’t be happy, but it’ll all work out. You’re a GRYFFINDOR!]

It was the best three sentences he had ever heard. McGonagall put the hat on Remus and Sirius laughed. It not only covered his eyes, but his whole head. The rim of the hat rested on his skinny shoulders, and he lifted the edge of it so he could breathe.

Remus could hear a voice in his head and it wasn’t his own. He lifted the edge of the hat so he could breathe and listened to what it was saying.

[A brilliant mind, absolutely wonderful, but I don’t think you’d suit Ravenclaw. No, much more than just your intelligence here. Very loyal, and extremely sweet, but Hufflepuff isn’t for you either. Maybe Slytherin, perhaps? Cunning, and you have been deceptive, haven’t you? Ah, I see why. Never mind, some lies are only for the best. No, definitely not Slytherin, they’d eat you alive, and you’re not bloodthirsty, you wouldn’t fit in. Ah, I know where to put you. I know exactly where you should go. Good heart, brave, plenty of courage. Your best fit, though you could go anywhere really, is GRYFFINDOR!]

The last word was shouted and the hat was pulled from his head. He made his way over and sat down opposite Sirius, who was beaming at him, and beside Lily, who gave him a pat on the back.

Peter Pettigrew was also a Gryffindor, though it had taken the hat a while to decide that. For James Potter, the hat barely touched his head before it yelled Gryffindor. James sat next to Remus and Peter next to Sirius, the four of them making a kind of square.

A black boy called Kingsley Shacklebolt became a Ravenclaw, like Mundungus Fletcher, and then Severus Snape got his wish and was made a Slytherin. More than half of the students so far had been put in Slytherin. Severus practically skipped off to the Slytherin’s, where he sat next to a tall boy with long blond hair and a Prefect’s badge. Narcissa was very chummy with the blond boy, who was glaring daggers at the back of Sirius’ head. He looked along the Slytherin table as the Sorting finished up and noticed Bellatrix sniggering at something a mean looking boy had said.

The final student to be Sorted was a short tubby girl called Delores Umbridge. She simpered up to McGonagall as the woman beckoned her to the stool and Remus took an instant dislike to her. She was such a suck up, and he doubted it would get her anywhere. Delores was Sorted into Slytherin, and Remus found he wasn’t surprised.

Once the Sorting was over, Professor Dumbledore said a few odd words and the food appeared on the tables. 

“Sirius, who’s that with Bellatrix, and that one with Narcissa?” Remus asked between bites of shepherds pie and roast potatoes.

Sirius craned around and rolled his eyes, casting a look at James as he stabbed at his beef hotpot. Remus had the impression he was imagining the hotpot to be the two boys.

“Their future husbands,” James said.

“They’re engaged already?” Remus questioned.

“No, they’re part of arranged marriages. It’s common in Pureblood families to arrange your child’s marriage for them,” Sirius clarified. “Cissa and Bella are bought and paid for, it’s a done deal. When the girls leave here, they’ll marry those boys. The one with Bella is Rodolphus Lestrange, and the boy on her other side is his brother Rabastan. They’re German and moved here when they were about two. The other one, the blond, his name is Lucius Malfoy, and his family are French. Purebloods, all of them.”

“And nasty bits of work,” said Peter. “I met them once, when I was younger, at a party my granddad threw. They’re horrible.”

“Excellently put,” said an older redheaded boy wearing a Prefects badge as he sat down in the free space to Sirius’ left, grabbing a roll to munch on. “They’re real pieces of work. I’d bet my life on Lucius having bought that badge, and Rodolphus gets more revolting every year. Just shows what bad taste the ugly sisters have got.”

“Hello, Fab, how you doing?” James said cheerfully.

“Not too bad, Potter, can’t complain. Became an uncle.”

“Really?”

“Yup. My big sister Molly and her husband had their first baby, a boy named Charlie. Just had his first birthday. Real cracker of a kid, loves to use you as a climbing frame.”

“Congratulations,” said Remus. He didn’t know who the boy was, but he seemed nice enough, and it was good news. 

“Fab, this is Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew and Lily Evans,” Sirius said, pointing them all out. They each received a nod and a smile. “Everyone, this is Fabian Prewett. He’s one of my nice relatives.” 

“They met Bella and Cissa then?” Fabian said with a grin.

“Unfortunately,” Sirius said. 

“Fab, Remus and Lily are so called mudbloods, according to Bella,” James said with a sly smile at Sirius, who was grinning. “Lily’s Muggleborn, so is Remus’ mum, and his dads a full muggle.”

“Really? Brilliant!” Fabian said excitedly. “Can never have too many of you lot.”

Remus and Lily looked at each other before bursting into a fit of giggles. He was so happy, it was infectious.

“Fabian’s family are so called blood traitors because they get along with people like you and Lily. His father works as a muggle accountant and is my mothers brothers son, which makes Fab, his brother Gideon and his sister Molly my… second cousins, I think. They’re the nice side of the family, but you’ve got no hope of finding them on my family tree,” Sirius said to Remus. “Fabian’s mum and James’ mum spend a lot of time together, hence me actually knowing the decent members of the family. I spent a lot of time at James’ when I was little.”

Remus beamed. Cinderella reference explained then, and how they all knew each other. “Your dad’s an accountant?”

“Yup. He’s forever bringing home muggle bits and pieces. Brilliant really, our house is never dull,” Fabian said. “Arthur, that’s Molly’s husband, does the same, and Arthur’s dad. The three get on like a house on fire, all as nutty as each other.”

Remus decided there and then that Fabian was one relative of Sirius’ he liked, even if the familial connections were hard to keep track of. Maybe Sirius would draw him a diagram or something. The dinner disappeared and the plates sparkled once more before desert arrived. Remus couldn’t quite decide what he wanted, it all looked so good, and there were so many of his favourites.

“I recommend the apple pie and strawberry ice cream,” Fabian suggested and helped Remus pile some into his bowl. “You’re such a skinny one, you need fattening up, as my mum says.”

Remus sniggered around his mouthful of pie. “You won’t manage it,” he said.

“I can try.”

“My Uncle Chris has been trying for eleven years.”

“Well, now there are two of us, we might manage it.”

The conversation turned to lessons and Fabian promised to take them to meet Hagrid, the groundskeeper, at the weekend. Apparently, Hagrid’s dogs, Honeyduke and Zonko, had a puppy over the summer, called Fang. Remus didn’t want to say that the dogs wouldn’t like him, that it was best if he stayed away, so he agreed to go too.

The meal ended and Fabian geared up to show the first years to Gryffindor Tower, but he was distracted by Sirius being assaulted.

“I suppose you think you’re proud of yourself.” 

They spun around to find Lucius, Narcissa, Rodolphus, Rabastan and Bellatrix standing in front of them. The Slytherin first years were being led away by a girl Prefect. Fabian took Remus and Lily and shoved them behind himself, Peter and James. Remus watched the face off from behind Fabian’s right arm.

“What makes you suppose that?” Sirius asked in a bored tone.

“A Gryffindor. Daddy will be pleased with his first born heir, won’t he, Sirius? You should be worrying about what Canis is going to say, and yet you look startlingly at ease. I wonder, have you lost your mind? Taken leave of your senses? Being a Gryffindor is a disgusting disease, you should go to Professor Dumbledore and have him resort you. It’s obviously spending time with blood traitors and mudbloods-”

“Don’t talk about things too advanced for you, Lucius, you’ll give yourself a headache. It might interfere with you shagging everything in sight before you’re sold off to that inbred piece of trash,” Sirius interrupted, motioning to Narcissa.

“You insolent little whelp. I ought to teach you to show me the proper respect,” Lucius snarled. Sirius didn’t reach much past Lucius’ shoulders, but the two of them stood chest to chest, scowling at each other.

“I’ll show it when you earn it.”

Lucius’ wand was out before Remus even saw him reach for it and Sirius was blasted back a few feet. Sirius yanked out his own wand to retaliate but never managed it.

“Mr Malfoy, fighting on your first day as a Prefect,” said a short tubby teacher who looked angry.

“He was simply showing my cousin how to perform the charm, Professor Slughorn. Poor little Sirius didn’t move out of the way fast enough,” Narcissa lied smoothly.

“Funny thing that, I didn’t hear any mention of a charm in your illuminating conversation, Mr Malfoy. Come with me, all five of you. Mr Prewett, you should get your first years off to bed.”

The five Slytherin’s growled and followed their furious professor. Fabian stepped forwards and helped Sirius up.

“At least none of them hit Remus this time,” James said.

“Hit Remus? Who hit Remus?” Fabian asked angrily.

“Bellatrix,” Lily said. “He wanted to know why being a Pureblood made her better than him.”

Fabian dissolved into a fit of laughter and hugged Remus around the shoulders. “I can’t believe I missed that! You’ll have to stand up to her again sometime, I’d pay to see it!”

“I really did want to know, she just took it the wrong way,” Remus said.

They were lead up to Gryffindor Tower, where there was a portrait of a very fat lady. Fabian told her the password, and they found themselves in a warm room filled with squashy looking armchairs and sofas.

Remus stood in his dormitory and gazed around. There were only the four of them in it, all the other dorms had more. Lily herself was rooming with seven other girls. Remus ended up with the bed closest the door with James taking the bed on his right and Sirius to his left. Peter was opposite him, nearest the window.

“Bloody hell!”

Remus looked up from putting his clothes in their proper places to see Sirius staring at his trunk. James peeked into it and let out a low whistle. 

“Starting a fire, Remus?” he joked.

“No. I like to read and I had trouble deciding which books to bring. I would have brought more, but I ran out of room. I’ve got about seven times that many at home.”

Sirius crouched down and looked at the novels. Remus had about fifty of them, all neatly packed away. None of the cover pictures moved, and there were no books by these authors in the Black family library. 

“Are they all muggle books?” he asked and Remus nodded, reaching over him to grab a blanket from his trunk, revealing even more books. “Merlin! How many are in here?”

“Eighty seven muggle books, plus the three in my backpack. This pile doesn’t count, it’s my schoolbooks,” Remus said, extracting the textbooks and arranging them tidily on a shelf in his nightstand. He didn’t want to keep them with his fun books, he’d just get mixed up. 

Sirius stared at them all. Ninety books, all just for fun. He had never known anyone who liked to read this much. And he had never seen such a collection of muggle literature. It made his fingers itch and his mind churn. All the knowledge contained in those books, all the secrets his family had never let him have. It would piss his family off no end if he read any of them. He might ask to borrow one of Remus’ books for that reason alone. Remus moved a few of them aside to grab a small bag, probably containing his toiletries or something, and Sirius frowned in confusion.

“What’s this?” he asked, holding up the battered thing he had found. It wasn’t really recognisable as anything, so he had to ask, his curiosity was absolutely buzzing.

Remus blushed. “That’s Romulus.”

“Romulus?” James questioned, peering at it. “What is Romulus exactly?”

“Ummm…well…he’s my…”

Sirius caught on and carried Romulus to his bed, where he extracted Cuddles from his trunk. “He’s your teddy bear. This is Cuddles, he’s mine,” he said, chucking Cuddles at Remus.

Remus grinned as he looked down at the bear. It was in a lot better shape than Romulus. Cuddles practically looked new in comparison. Cuddles was a dark brown and had a green bow tie. Romulus had once been blue, and his clothes had once been a pair of blue dungarees. Not anymore, Romulus was all faded and dirty and there was a bloodstain on one of his ears from one time Remus had a paper cut and didn’t notice.

“Cuddles is obviously in better health than Romulus is,” Remus said and Sirius sniggered.

“Blame Kreacher, the house elf. He cleans everything to within an inch of its life. Yours looks like he was actually played with when you were young.”

“Told you,” James said and Sirius blushed. “I told you that you wouldn’t be the only one with a bear.”

James pulled out his wand and cast a charm on Romulus, returning him to looking almost new. Remus and Sirius swapped bears and the two toys took pride of place on their bedside cabinets.

Remus had just finished straightening the blanket his mother had made him when there was a knock at the door. James opened it to reveal Professor Dumbledore.

“I always find it amusing how soon a dorm looks lived in once the inhabitants get to it,” he said with a smile. “How are you boys settling in?”

“Fine, sir,” Sirius said.

“Ah, young Mr Black. Are you well after the altercation with Mr Malfoy?”

“I’m okay, it was nothing really. Just a difference in opinion.”

Dumbledore nodded. “Such things will happen. Mr Lupin, I wonder if you would come with me for a bit.”

The three other boys stared at him worriedly and Remus smiled. “It’s okay, guys. He’s just going to show me the arrangements for when I get bad,” he reassured and he waited for their nods before he followed Dumbledore out of the room.

The two of them walked across the grounds to a huge tree and a waiting woman. Remus had noticed the tree, he could see it from a window in the Great Hall and one in the dorm.

Remus was introduced to Madame Pomfrey, the school nurse, and then the two adults showed him how hard it was to get into the tunnel. You had to touch a branch to just the right spot on the tree trunk to get it to stop moving. The tunnel itself was very long, steep at both ends, and uneven underfoot. The house at the end of the tunnel was a nice house, there was even a bedroom in it for him.

The two adults explained how it was all going to work once Remus filled them in on what his new friends knew, what he had told them. They told him that on day one of his change, Madame Pomfrey would escort him through the tunnel to the house and ensure the trapdoor was secure before the moon rose. During the three changes, he would be able to tear through the house as much as the wolf desired, all the windows and doors had been charmed so he couldn’t get out. During his human hours, a house elf would bring him three meals a day and he would stay in the house. He agreed that was the best plan. It fit with the lies he had told and it wasn’t a good idea for him to be around his friends while his wolf instinct was so strong. He could be really mean on those days. Every morning, Madame Pomfrey would come and patch him up, and she assured him he could say whatever he liked to her, she would understand it wasn’t really him saying it. He would only be allowed to leave the Shrieking Shack, as it was nicknamed, the morning after his third change. Only the teachers and other members of staff knew what he really was, and Dumbledore would inform them all of Remus’ cover story at the next mornings staff meeting.

It was all very ordered, and Remus thanked them both profusely, before he was escorted back to Gryffindor Tower. He slipped into his bed, after assuring his friends that he was all right, and slowly drifted off to sleep.

Before he actually succumbed to slumber, he happened upon the realisation that he wasn’t homesick. He did miss his parents, but the transition from home to school had been so smooth, it wasn’t that hard at all to get along without them.

He would see them in the holidays. And, besides, he had his friends.

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As it turned out, Fabian was an identical twin. Remus had trouble telling Fabian and his brother Gideon apart, but he liked them all the same.

It was a bright Saturday morning and the two older boys were leading the four younger ones down to Hagrid’s hut. They talked as they walked and the four friends filled the two brothers in on their first week of lessons. 

Remus loved Defence Against the Dark Arts, and he quite liked Potions too. He found his lessons to be wonderful, and so interesting that he never once got bored. James was more a fan of Transfiguration, though he wasn’t bad at any of their subjects. Sirius was a lover of Charms and, unsurprisingly, pretty good at everything too. The Purebloods explained that families like theirs liked to teach their children magic young, so Sirius and James were pretty well versed in everything they were learning, but it was nice to go over it again.

Peter, unfortunately, didn’t seem to be good at any subject, despite his family teaching him young. He had managed to have an accident in every single class and actually managed to send James to the hospital wing in Charms. He got a little carried away trying to make his feather float and sent James hurtling across the room, right into a bookcase that fell on him.

Remus was only half listening to the conversation. His stomach was churning at the thought of coming face to face with a dog, let alone two. Dogs could smell what he was, and they didn’t like it. Accordingly, they attacked him to try and get rid of the apparent threat. He hoped the twins were as fast as they looked.

“Are you sure Mr Hagrid will be all right with us just turning up?” Remus asked nervously and Gideon smiled. He only knew it was Gideon because Fabian was the one with the Prefects badge, Gideon the one without.

“He’ll be fine with it, he likes visitors,” Gideon assured.

“Yeah, he’ll think it great fun to have four new ones to try his cakes on. Honestly, just pretend to eat them or something, don’t actually try it, you’ll lose teeth,” Fabian said.

Remus nerves reached a fever pitch as they reached the front door of the hut, and he was about to say he didn’t feel well so he could go back, get away, but he never got the chance as a huge boarhound came charging at them, headed for Remus.

The other five boys watched the dog approach and then the twins stepped back in confusion as it pounced on Remus, sinking its teeth into his arm as he raised them to defend himself.

Remus was screaming in pain and Sirius didn’t like the sound one little bit. The twins were wrestling with the dog, trying to get it off Remus, but it held tight, sinking its teeth in even further. Merlin, there was so much blood. If he had thought Remus bled a lot from a split lip, he was sorely mistaken. That had been nothing.

Hagrid arrived and pried the dogs jaws open, freeing Remus and keeping a tight hold on Honeyduke the dog, scolding him while watching in shock. Fabian and Gideon stepped back in horror at the bleeding, and Peter looked like he was about to throw up, but Sirius and James rushed forwards. 

Remus was crying in front of his new friends and his shirt was ruined and the dog was still growling at him and…and…oh, it just wasn’t fair. He should have just declined the offer to see the puppy. He knew Hagrid knew what he really was, and if Hagrid had known he was coming he would have tied the dog up or something.

James propped Remus up and Sirius carefully tried to take a look at the arm, but Remus wouldn’t let him touch it. Merlin, he didn’t blame him. It looked like it hurt. A lot.

“Remus, you have to let me see,” Sirius said and, after a moment, Remus nodded. Sirius gently pulled the arm away from the thin chest and pulled back what was left of the sleeve. He couldn’t even see the wound, there was so much blood. And if he couldn’t see the wound, he couldn’t heal it. “I can’t see, James.”

James looked over to the twins. “Fab, he needs to see the wound to heal it. Can we take Remus into Hagrid’s hut, can he tie up the dogs or something?”

Hagrid grabbed Honeyduke and secured him to a post, and then fetched Zonko and tied her too. He scooped up Fang the puppy and tied it with its parents. James and Sirius helped Remus up and guided him into the hut, sitting him at the table. He had managed to stop crying, that was good, in his opinion.

Hagrid plonked a bowl of warm water and a few cloths on the table and stood back. The boys appeared to know what they were doing, best not to get in their way. The little one was bleeding a hell of a lot. Hagrid had never met a werewolf, which he found odd with all the weird friends he had. Maybe this bleeding was normal. He’d ask Dumbledore later. All the adults in the school were supposed to keep an eye on Remus while he settled in, make sure he was adjusting, that his inner wolf took the change well. This was probably not the best thing to happen. Ah well, Hagrid just counted himself lucky the wolf hadn’t flared and made the little one attack Honeyduke back. He wouldn’t have a dog left if that had happened, he knew that much at least.

“At least I got to see the puppy,” Remus joked as Sirius pressed a cloth to his arm, he and James holding pressure on it.

“Yeah, but an arm is too much to pay for a pet,” Peter joked back.

Within seconds the cloth was soaked and the boys pressed a fresh one to his arm, though Sirius had managed to get a look at the bite as they swapped the cloths.

“Why is he bleeding like that?” Fabian asked worriedly.

“Shouldn’t it slow a little with pressure?” Gideon suggested.

“My blood doesn’t work properly,” Remus said simply and the two redheads nodded. “Don’t worry, the guys know what to do.”

“All right, James, on three,” Sirius said, pulling out his wand. “One…two…three, now!”

The cloth was yanked away and a speedy healing charm muttered. The skin knitted back together, and Remus had to throw up before his arm could be sponged clean. Hagrid handed him a bucket to vomit into, and James explained his illness to the twins while Sirius rubbed his back, telling him it was better out than in. 

“I’m okay now,” Remus said and Hagrid took the bucket back outside. James and Peter took the twins outside to give Remus some privacy while he cleaned up, though they said they were going to get a better look at the puppy.

Remus’ hand shook as he reached for a cloth to clean his arm with. Damn, it was only a week before the moon. He hated the shakes, they were horrible. It was because the wolf in him was getting stronger, his human weaker. It made his hands shake, and him restless. Give it a few more days and he would look like the drug addicts that sometimes tried to drink in The Shamrock before they found out that Big Jim wouldn’t let them.

Sirius saw the shaking and grabbed the cloth, soaked it in water and began sponging Remus’ arm for him. “Your hands were shaking like that yesterday. Does it mean you’re getting worse?” he asked.

“Yes. I usually get restless as well before I get bad, some weird reaction thing. It’s like I have this excess energy all built up inside and then I crash. When I crash, that’s when I’m bad.”

“Is there anything we can do to help?” 

Remus smiled. “You’re helping already.”

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Sirius paced the dorm, waiting. He had tried reading, but he couldn’t get the words to sink in. Not even Remus’ muggle books could hold his attention. 

Remus had not come back from visiting Madame Pomfrey after dinner.

“Have you seen him?” Sirius questioned James and Peter as they came in from their heated chess game in the common room.

“Seen who?” Peter asked.

“Remus. He didn’t come back,” Sirius said and their faces dropped.

“But it’s gone midnight,” James said. “Lets go tell Fab, he’ll know what to do.”

Together they all raced up to the fifth year boys room and knocked. A black haired boy peered sleepily at them as he opened the door a crack.

“What do you want?” he croaked.

“We need Fabian Prewett,” James said. 

“He’s asleep, like you should be,” he said, moving to close the door, but Sirius jammed his foot in the way. “Listen, boys, I know it’s tough getting used to sleeping here, but it’ll be all right. Just go to bed, we’ll see you in the morning.”

“We’re not having trouble getting used to it here. Our friend is missing, he didn’t come back from dinner,” Peter said.

“What’s his name?”

“Remus Lupin,” James supplied

“The little one Fab said was sick?”

“Yeah,” Sirius confirmed. “That’s why we’re worried.”

“All right, wait here.” 

The boy disappeared and a moment later, Fabian peered out at them. “What are you all doing? Do you know what time it is?”

“We’re sorry to wake you, Fab, really we are, but Remus didn’t come back from dinner and we didn’t know what else to do,” James said.

Fabian nodded and disappeared for a moment before he emerged, pulling on his shirt and pinning his Prefects badge to it. 

“How’s he been feeling lately?” Fabian asked as they went down to the common room.

“Not good. He’s had the shakes and been restless,” Sirius revealed.

“How long?”

“Since Honeyduke bit him, maybe the day before that. Do you think he’s okay?”

“I don’t know. Stay here, you can’t walk the halls at night. I’ll go to Pomfrey, or McGonagall, see if I can find out what happened to him. Try not to worry, if he is bad, they’ll be taking good care of him,” Fabian said before he slipped out of the portrait hole.

Fabian didn’t return for an hour, and when he did he brought McGonagall with him.

“I’m sorry, boys, one of us should have come to you sooner,” she said. “Mr Lupin is having one of his bad patches. He won’t be returning to the Tower for a few days.”

“We’ll go to the Hospital Wing and see him tomorrow,” Sirius said but she shook her head.

“No, Mr Black, you may not visit your friend. Mr Lupin has requested that you do not visit him. Mr Prewett will explain all to you. For now, I suggest you go to bed.”

McGonagall left the common room and Fabian explained to them that Remus had asked that they stay away, claiming he didn’t want them to see him when he was so bad. They respected that, and agreed to stay away.

The only problem was, Fabian hadn’t found Remus in the Hospital Wing, and they saw Madame Pomfrey walking towards the Whomping Willow as the sun came up.

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Remus disappeared on Monday night and was waiting for them at breakfast on Thursday morning.

Talking to Severus.

“Remus! Are you okay?” Peter asked as he and James sat down either side of him.

“And what do you want, Snivellus?” Sirius spat, standing behind the Slytherin.

“None of your business, Black,” Severus snarled, glaring at him over his shoulder.

“Stop it,” Remus said shakily. He really didn’t feel up to watching a fight. If it kicked off, his wolf would have something to say about it. “Guys, I’m fine, just tired. They took good care of me, and I’m much better now. Sirius, Severus was just telling me that he took some notes for me. We’re going to go over them after lunch, during the free period.”

“Exactly,” Severus concurred before he turned on his heel and swept away to the Slytherin table.

“That guy really gets on my last nerve,” Sirius grumbled as he sat down. He softened as Remus cast a questioning glance at him. “You sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine, really, just tired. I have to ask though, what is up with you and Severus?” Remus queried.

Sirius glanced at James, who gave him a almost imperceptible shake of the head. No, they couldn’t tell Remus. It wasn’t the right time, not while their friendship was so new. The relationship was too shaky, too uncertain. Remus would not understand, he couldn’t. So, instead of trusting the smaller boy, he shook his head and lied.

“I just have an issue with anyone on my family’s side,” Sirius said and it seemed to be enough for Remus, because he gave the Pureblood a small smile and enquired about what he had missed.

“You missed Peter sending McGonagall to the Infirmary with a head the size of a pumpkin.”

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The school year was mostly uneventful. Peter managed to send all their professors to the hospital wing at least twice, James and Sirius racked up more detentions than they knew what to do with, and Remus managed to keep his secret. His monthly changes seemed to get easier as the year went on, as if some unseen force was making the infection more controlled. Christmas and Easter, Remus stayed at Hogwarts and his parents visited him to see how he was getting on. Peter and James went home for the breaks, but Sirius stayed, claiming he wanted to see what a Hogwarts Christmas was like and he just couldn’t be bothered to pack to go home for Easter.

During the summer holidays, James invited Remus to stay at his house for a few weeks, but he couldn’t go, not with his condition, so his father had told Remus’ friends that they had family coming for the summer, and Remus was needed at home, his mother had fallen ill. The three friends saw no reason to question an adult, so they left it alone. 

Their second year began, and Sirius was the first student of the year to receive a Howler, after his brother, Regulus, was Sorted into Slytherin. Sirius rather enjoyed hearing what his father would come up with next, and gleefully waited until it burst into flames at the breakfast table, chuckling at the screamed words of disappointment and toasting marshmallows while the letter burned. His smile at the angry magically amplified words seemed to infuriate the Slytherin’s. Lucius and his gang, joined now by Regulus, challenged the Gryffindor’s at least three times a week, and Remus had come to learn just how fast Sirius could be when he wanted to. The Slytherin’s usually came off with a trip to the Hospital Wing, and James, Peter and Sirius landed in detention for responding to the verbal insults. Remus managed to avoid most of the detentions, he usually kept his mouth shut.

James made the Quidditch team as their new Seeker, and it seemed to irritate Severus no end. Remus couldn’t work out why it bothered him so much, it wasn’t like he liked riding a broom, let alone the sport itself. It didn’t bother James, and Remus found himself among the four most popular boys in school. Everyone wanted to spend time with them, and Remus was never short of offers to go on a date, if he had so desired. It was rather nice, being popular. James was the star attraction, of course, but he never let his three friends feel left out. They became the coolest kids in school, and even the teachers seemed to have a soft spot for them. 

Remus continued to spend time in the Library with Severus, much to his friends annoyance, but they didn’t say anything to Remus about it, so he didn’t stop. Lily spent time with Severus too, and James seemed to take a personal offence at it, thus his bickering with the girl became worse, and Severus became as hated by James as he was by Sirius, though Remus didn’t know why Sirius hated his study buddy. Peter seemed undecided, and worked with Severus when he had to, not finding any problems apart from his lack of control over his magic. Poor Severus usually ended up with an exploding cauldron and a trip to Madame Pomfrey, which James and Sirius found hilarious.

In fact, it was all rather uneventful until Halloween week. Now, Sirius and James were no fools. They knew that Remus was hiding something, just as well as they knew they were hiding something too. Peter had realised it too, he was a slow boy, but he wasn’t blind. No one had found Remus in the Hospital Wing during his supposed bad patches. And they couldn’t help but notice Madame Pomfrey making many trips to the Whomping Willow. The three boys didn’t question Remus about it, and Remus didn’t suspect that they knew he was lying. They understood that there was something Remus was hiding, and he must be hiding it for a good reason, so they left it alone.

It would have been perfect, if Sirius hadn’t been an insomniac. He didn’t sleep, it was as simple as that. He got by on no more than twenty minutes a night, and he spent his waking nocturnal hours reading Remus’ muggle books. 

He often glanced up at the night sky, and he couldn’t help noticing the big bright full moon whenever Remus’ bed lay empty.

So, Halloween weekend came, and Sirius told James and Peter his theory. Sat by themselves at one end of the Gryffindor table during the Halloween feast. They scoffed at him, of course, it seemed like a ludicrous suggestion but they agreed to investigate where Madame Pomfrey kept going. It was just lucky that James had an Invisibility Cloak.

Halloween night came, night three of Remus missing, and the three boys slipped away after the matron, concealing themselves beneath the Cloak and watching as she emerged from a hidden tunnel in the base of the Whomping Willow. Little did they know, they had been overheard, and spotted reappearing from under the magical fabric.

“What are you doing?”

The boys spun around and breathed a sigh of relief at the sight of Lily Evans holding a lantern.

“For the love of Merlin, you scared us half to death!” James hissed. “Be quiet or we’re going to get caught!”

“You should get caught!” she snapped in a whisper.

“Evans, look, we’re just trying to…” Sirius began, but she cut him off.

“I know what you’re doing,” she said. “I heard you, Black, you and your theory. Remus Lupin a werewolf? You’re nuts! Remus can’t be a werewolf, he just can’t.”

“Why not?” Sirius argued.

“Oh, come off it! He’s sweet and kind and gentle. Does that sound like a dark creature to you?”

“No, but he is hiding something. So are the teachers. Come on, Evans, we’re just going to find out how to get into that tunnel, have a quick peek, and then go back to bed,” James said.

She stared at them for a moment before she sighed. “Fine, but I’m coming too. And there better be room under that Cloak for me when we go back to Gryffindor Tower. Hang on, what tunnel?”

They showed it to her and told her what they had seen Pomfrey do. The four second years spent the night trying different spots on the tree with twigs they made levitate. It took so long because it was a very large tree and the wind kept blowing their twigs off course. That and the Willow kept taking a swing at them.

Finally, it was Peter that found the right spot. The four of them landed in a heap at the bottom and slowly made their way along the tunnel, occasionally stepping on toes and losing their footing. As it began to approach dawn, the tunnel finally began to curve upwards. 

“Ouch! That was my foot, Potter!” Lily cried.

“Shout it a little louder, I don’t think Dumbledore heard you!” he snarled back.

“Well, if you would just look where you’re going, I wouldn’t have to yell!”

“If you would just keep your big feet out of my way, I wouldn’t step on them!”

“Why you little-!”

“Shut up, both of you,” Sirius hissed. “There’s a trapdoor.”

They approached it and Peter noticed Lily hung back, poking at something she had found on the floor. 

“What’s that?” the blond boy asked.

“I think it’s clothes,” she said, getting a better look at them by the lighted tip of her wand. “It is clothes, and they’ve got Remus’ name stitched in. Oh, you know what, I don’t think this is a good idea. If Remus is in there, he’s not going to want us poking our noses in.”

“Go back then,” James spat. “No one’s stopping you. In fact, we’d be glad of the silence.”

“No way! You promised to take me back under your Cloak. Without it, I’ll be caught,” she argued. She looked at the three boys, then the clothes, then the trapdoor. “Fine. But if Remus bites our heads off, I’m blaming you, Potter.”

“No one-”

Whatever James had started to say evaporated as a tortured howl came from above them. Sirius raised the trapdoor a few millimetres and glanced in, beckoning them closer so they could see too.

They now knew exactly what was in the supposedly haunted Shrieking Shack. Prowling around inside, throwing itself around, biting and clawing itself, was a sandy brown werewolf, and Sirius was crushed that he had not been wrong about his friend.

“Oh my God!” Lily whispered. “What the hell is a wolf doing in there?”

“That’s not a wolf, Evans. Look at the snout. Those markings, the ones that look like stripes, they’re the mark of a werewolf. All werewolves have them, it’s how you tell them apart,” Sirius whispered back. “And the tail, it’s all tufty.”

“The sun’s rising,” James pointed out.

The four of them watched as the wolf froze, letting out the most painful sound they had ever heard. And then it began to transform. It was horrific to watch. The fur receded back into pale skin, bones snapped and reformed, blood poured from the gashes and bite marks, and when it was over, Remus Lupin was lying in the middle of the floor, curled up in a ball. He was bleeding terribly, and he was sobbing in agony. It was heartbreaking, the breathless gasping sobs emanating from the thin battered boy.

“Let’s go,” Lily hissed, but it proved to be their undoing.

Remus froze, his latest sob catching in his throat. He could hear four heartbeats, and four sets of breathing, and there was a hissed whisper. He could smell them too, four of them, three male, one female. He couldn’t distinguish who they were, but if he could hear and smell them, that meant the trapdoor was open, the enchantment on it broken, and someone had seen him. He wondered what teachers it was.

“Who’s there?” he called out shakily. The females breath hitched. “Come on, I can hear you and smell you. Whoever you are, come out.”

None of them moved and his temper snapped, the wolf still so close to the surface controlling it.

“Get your fucking arses out here or I swear to fucking God, I am coming to find you, and when I do, I’m eating you all! RAW!” he roared and there was a moment of still silence, before the trapdoor creaked open, and Remus’ world fell apart.

Sirius was the first to come through, then James, followed by Lily, Peter bringing up the rear. Sirius watched Remus’ mouth drop open in horror, tears filling his eyes.

“You don’t have a blood disorder, do you?” Sirius asked and Remus shook his head, dissolving into fresh sobs.

“I get that you don’t want to be my friends anymore, but please don’t tell anyone what I am,” Remus begged, looking at them with pleading eyes. “If you tell, I can’t stay, I’ll have to leave Hogwarts. Please, don’t tell.”

The four looked at each other and nodded. Lily shoved the clothes she had found at James and conjured a bowl of warm water and some clean cloths. 

“What makes you think we don’t want to be your friends?” Peter asked and Remus stared at them.

“Let us clean you up, Remus, you’re an awful mess,” Sirius said and Remus flinched as he tried to touch him.

“Please, not yet. You have to wait for the wolf to calm before you can touch me, or I’ll hurt you,” Remus whispered, still in shock.

Sirius nodded and knelt beside him, grabbing the clothes from James and handing them to his friend. “Just answer me this. Did you really think we’d hate you for this?”

Remus gaped at him. “Of course. I know what wizards think of werewolves. You all think we’re disgusting dark creatures, all savage, even in human form. I have been in lessons, you know. I’ve read the books, heard the way the student population talks about werewolves. You’ve all heard too much about Greyback,” he said as he wriggled into his boxers, Lily turning away to give him some privacy.

James smiled. “Well, yeah, but we know you. You’re not like they claim werewolves to be. Is he, Evans?”

“No, you’re not. You’re sweet and kind, you’re brighter than all of us put together, you love vanilla fudge, and you always give people a fair chance,” she said, making Remus smile dazedly. “We assumed it was the infection that made werewolves savage, but now we know it’s the person, not the condition.”

Remus couldn’t believe it. They knew and they weren’t turning away. He had assumed, after hearing the way the students all talked about werewolves, that his friends would turn away if they knew. But here they were, and they weren’t turning away. They were proclaiming how nice he was, and Sirius wanted to clean him up.

“You really still want to be my friends?” he questioned as he gave Sirius a nod.

Lily came forwards and Sirius mopped down Remus’ back, trying to get a clear view of the damage. He pulled out his wand and healed the ones he got a good look at, then set to the others. James was the one to answer for them. 

“Depends,” the spectacle wearing boy said.

“On what?” Remus mumbled.

“On if this is the only secret you have,” Peter finished.

“This is it. There isn’t anything else, I swear.”

“Good, because that tunnel is a pain in the arse,” James said. “We don’t fancy traipsing after you again.”

“It is good then, that Mr Lupin has no other secrets.”

They all spun around to find Dumbledore, McGonagall and Pomfrey staring at them. The adults didn’t look happy, and the children couldn’t blame them. 

“Mr Prewett and Mr Prewett went to your room last night to check on you, boys, make sure you had made it back to Gryffindor Tower. They did see you looking very suspicious at the feast,” Albus began, watching the guilty looks, all except Sirius, who was wholly focussed on healing Remus. Albus held up a hand to stop Poppy Pomfrey from taking over. Hagrid had informed Albus of Sirius’ skill with a healing charm, and he rather wanted to see it himself.

“Imagine their surprise when you did not return all night,” McGonagall continued. “Alarmed, Fabian had a female Prefect check on the girls. Imagine his continued surprise when he finds Miss Evans missing also. Naturally, considering your problems with the Slytherin’s, the boys were worried for all of you, so Fabian came and woke me.”

“Can you picture how worried we were?” Dumbledore said. “Can you think what it looked like? Now you know the truth of Mr Lupin, you can understand why we were so concerned.”

“Yes, sir,” they chorused.

“And you all realise how very dangerous this could have been?” McGonagall asked.

“Yes, ma’am.”

“And you all understand that you may not tell anyone of this? None of your other friends, or your parents, not even a pet. It must stay within the five of you, you know that, do you not? If Mr Lupin were to be discovered, it would be impossible for him to remain a student of this school,” Albus questioned. “Many parents would not want their children to be associating with a supposed dark creature. As Mr Lupin pointed out, people have heard too much of Fenrir Greyback.”

“We won’t tell anyone, honest,” Peter said.

“Not a soul,” James said.

“Take it to the grave,” Sirius said distractedly as he marvelled at a bite mark covering Remus’ shoulder. He didn’t know anyone else who could bite their own shoulder.

“Who am I to tell? It’s not my secret, not me that has to live with it. I know when to keep my trap shut,” Lily said.

Albus smiled and looked at Remus. “Well, Remus? Shall I let them keep their memories?”

Remus looked at each of his friends and then at his headmaster. “If you could let them keep them, I would appreciate it. I don’t fancy them sneaking down the tunnel again, I might eat them next time. They’re a nosy bunch, you know. They’re bound to figure it out again,” he said, making all of them laugh.

As Remus was cleaned up and then checked over by Madame Pomfrey, the three adults helped him fill the four Gryffindor’s in on everything, explaining every lie, every odd occurrence, every weird personality moment. They were allowed to ask any questions they wanted and in turn they found out the whole story.

When Remus had been bitten and by who, the real reason he had been pulled out of primary school, what his uncles knew, how he handled it at home, the truth about werewolves, and everything in between. The Shack was explained, the tunnel, the Whomping Willow. The four students agreed that it was best if no one else found out about Remus, that he was too vulnerable for the Slytherin’s to get wind of his condition, and proclaimed very loudly that they would help protect him, help him hide his furry little problem, as James dubbed it.

By the time they had finished, it was well after lunch, and Remus was allowed to leave with his friends, though Dumbledore had to ensure they were not spotted.

As Remus made his way back to the school, he found he felt lighter than he had his whole time at Hogwarts, and smiled his first true smile as Lily called James an ogre.

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Remus didn’t feel his four friends sit down around him. It was a rainy April afternoon and Remus couldn’t understand the way he felt. 

His eyes were fixed upon Gideon and his latest squeeze, Amelia Tolkins. The two of them were cuddled up in the window seat, apparently able to survive without oxygen, if their kissing marathon was anything to go by.

But it wasn’t their long kisses that baffled Remus. It was the fact that he couldn’t see himself kissing a girl. Ever. But he could picture himself kissing Gideon quite clearly.

“Hello, Hogwarts to Remus, anyone in there?” James called, waving a hand in front of the werewolf’s face. Remus blinked and looked around, noticing that he had company. “You okay?”

“Fine, I’m fine,” Remus said, a little too quickly.

The four of them glanced over to where Remus had been staring and Peter sniggered. “How long have they been going at it?” the blond asked.

“Fourty eight minutes,” Fabian revealed as he joined them, holding a stopwatch. “My bet is on an hour and a half, what do you say?”

“Five more minutes, no longer,” Lily said. “They have to come up for air sometime.”

“No way, two hours, minimum,” Sirius said. “I can say from experience that you can breathe and kiss at the same time.”

Ah yes, everyone knew Sirius was a heartbreaker. Male or female, older or younger, any house but Slytherin, Sirius had dated more than a few and he hadn’t even turned thirteen yet. His reputation as the stud of the school pissed Lucius off no end. Sirius had received many Howlers about it from his father, but it had just made him worse. Not a week went by when Sirius did not have a new partner, or three. That he never had any complaints was the really impressive thing.

“I’m with Sirius,” James said. “Remus, you in?”

“No, I’m not into betting,” Remus said dismissively. He tried to pull his eyes away from the redhead and his girlfriend but he couldn’t.

Fabian handed Peter the stopwatch. “Keep an eye on them, I want to know how long he makes it,” the redhead said and then fixed his attentions on Remus. “Remus, do you have a crush on Melia?”

“What? No!” the werewolf denied.

Sirius smiled. “Is it Gid you have the hots for?”

“No, I don’t have the hots for anyone,” he said. Oh dear, their eyes were narrowing. Hang on, they were his friends, they had handled the truth about him, and Sirius was bisexual, he thinks, and Fabian never poked fun at anyone. “I’m confused.”

This got James’ attention. “You? Confused? Not possible,” the Pureblood said. “Remus, you don’t get confused, it just doesn’t happen.”

Remus sniggered. “Well, it has.” He took a deep breath. “I think I’m gay,” he said quietly and waited for the peals of laughter.

No one laughed. Quite the opposite in fact. They immediately looked concerned and tried to help him figure it out. 

“What makes you think that?” Fabian asked. 

Fabian was gay himself. He knew just how hard it could be to figure out your sexuality. It wasn’t always as easy as just knowing. Sometimes it could be very confusing for a boy to discover he was different, that he wanted something different. Fabian remembered all too well how he had envied Gideon when he was confused about his own sexuality. Gideon was so sure of his love for the female form, the thought of snogging a guy never entered his head. Fabian, on the other hand, had spent most of his third year and half of his fourth confused and embarrassed by the communal showers.

“I just feel it. I can’t imagine kissing a girl, but I can imagine kissing a boy,” Remus said. “And I don’t feel the same for girls. I like them, just not like that.”

Sirius and Lily shared a look before giving each other a definitive nod. “Right then. We’re your friends, aren’t we, Remus?” Lily asked.

“Yes. You’re all my friends. Why?” he replied cautiously.

“Me and Evans are each going to kiss you. If you don’t feel anything kissing this lovely lady, but you feel something kissing me, then you’ll know you’re gay. If you feel something for her and not me, you’re straight. If you feel for both, you’re bi,” Sirius said and Remus burst out laughing.

“Fab, one hour, two minutes and thirteen seconds,” Peter said, handing Fabian the stopwatch.

“Damn it,” Fabian said. “Evans was the closest.”

“Too bad, Fab. Guess you lost again, huh?” said Gideon as he draped himself over his twins shoulders, Amelia moving away to join some of her friends. “Did I hear that right? Evans and Black are going to kiss Lupin?”

“Only if he wants to try it,” Lily said.

“Why are you going to kiss them?” Gideon asked Remus.

Remus went bright red but he was saved from answering.

“Remus is confused, like I was,” Fabian said and Gideon nodded. “Wish I’d had friends like this when I was trying to figure it out.”

“Yeah, mum wouldn’t have accused you of being a miserable little whatsit so often if you had,” Gideon joked.

“So, up for it?” Sirius said cheerfully to Remus. “It won’t mean anything, it’s just a… what do you call it?… a scientific experiment, two friends helping another friend out.”

“Hang on, what if he feels nothing for either of you?” Peter put in.

“Not possible,” the twins said in unison. 

“We concur that Sirius and Lily are the two most good looking second years,” Gideon said.

“He has to feel something for one of them,” Fabian agreed.

Remus couldn’t take it anymore. The twins talking together made his head spin, and he was confused enough already. James had been right, Remus getting confused didn’t happen very often, and he didn’t like it. Enough was enough. He had been questioning this for weeks. If snogging his friends was the way to get answers, so be it. They had offered, after all.

“All right,” Remus said. 

Sirius pulled Remus to his feet and James decided that Lily would go first. Remus found himself mildly curious, but not nervous. Lily gave him a small smile before she leaned in, putting her hands on his shoulders.

It wasn’t disgusting, kissing Lily, but it wasn’t nice either. It felt kind of odd, her lips on his, and he could taste the strawberry lip balm she used. He put his hands on her waist and closed his eyes, like Gideon had done with Amelia, but it didn’t make it any better. Her kiss was soft and gentle, but it wasn’t hesitant. It just was. She pulled back and smiled at him.

“Anything?” she questioned.

“Sorry, Lily. You’re beautiful, and I like spending time with you. But there was nothing,” he said.

“No problem. Probably for the best anyway. Can we not tell Jason about this?” she requested and they all nodded. Jason Dean, the Ravenclaw she had been dating for the last few weeks, would not be jealous. He would be intrigued and plague them all with questions. Ah, the wonders of the Ravenclaw’s.

“All right, Sirius next,” James said.

Remus found himself very nervous as Sirius moved close to him. Oh, this was new, this feeling of his insides turning to mush. Sirius’ kiss was different from Lily’s. It was more passionate, on Remus’ part anyway. Sirius took complete control, cradling the back of Remus’ head and possessing his lips with his own. Now Remus knew why Sirius never got any complaints, he kissed like a god. Sirius’ other hand was on the base of Remus’ spine, and it felt quite nice to have it there. Remus laid his hands on Sirius’ shoulders and kissed back, feeling Sirius smile into it. When Sirius pulled away, Remus had all the answers he had been looking for, and he could proudly say that he had been kissed by the Hogwarts Stud.

“Figured everything out?” Sirius questioned as he took a step back.

James sniggered at the silly smile Remus was wearing as he flopped back down into his seat. “I think he’s on Fab’s team, not Gid’s.”

“You two are very good friends,” Remus said with a smile. “I’m not confused anymore.”

“Damn, I should have called the Prophet while I had the chance,” James teased and Remus hit him with a cushion. “I’m kidding! No, it’s good you figured things out. You okay now?”

“Absolutely,” Remus said and then frowned. “Scratch that, I am not absolutely okay. How am I going to tell my muggle dad that his only son is gay?”

“I suggest having a stiff drink to hand,” Gideon offered with a grin at his brother.

Fabian laughed. “Our mum did the whole bottle of scotch for the shock when I told her about me. She was fine with it after she dealt with her hangover.”

Remus laughed along with the rest of them, but his mind was already churning with what his dad would say. He couldn’t put it in a letter, and the Easter break had gone already. He would wait until he went home for summer. Maybe it was something best done in person.

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John smirked over the carburettor he was working on. Remus had been staring at the same page for the last hour.

“What’s so funny?”

John jumped as Anne whispered in his ear. “You trying to give me a heart attack, woman?” he hissed.

“No,” she giggled, kissing his cheek. “Sorry, dear. So, what is so funny?”

“Remus. Look at him.”

“Is he still on that page?”

“Yup. Somethings bothering him. He’s been quiet since I picked him up from Kings Cross,” John said.

She sighed. “Me or you?”

“It’s my turn, you dealt with the problems of him being smaller than everyone else,” John said and she nodded, returning to her potions making. John wiped off his hands of oil and made his way over to his thirteen year old. 

“Hi, dad,” Remus said as John sat down next to him. “Finished with the carburettor?”

“Not quite. Thought I’d take a break and have a chat with my son. You’ve been away for months,” John said and Remus stuck his bookmark in the novel he had been pretending to read.

“What do you want to talk about?” Remus said, curling his knees up to his chest.

“How about we talk about what’s bothering you?”

Remus paled. He had been so careful, how had his father guessed? Wait, hold on a moment, he couldn’t have guessed. So Remus still had time to sidetrack him.

“Nothing’s bothering me,” Remus said.

“Come on, I’m your dad. I know when something’s wrong with you. So what is it?”

“Nothing, there’s nothing.”

John sighed. All right, John was going to have to worm it out of him. Maybe he should have told Anne to handle this one. Maybe it wasn’t too late, Anne was listening from the stove, maybe he could call her over.

“Dad, there is something,” Remus said quietly. “But I don’t know how to tell you.”

John peered at his son. “All right. Have you been kicked out of school?”

“No, and Professor Dumbledore would have sent you a letter if that happened.”

“Good point. Have you failed one of your classes?”

“No.”

“Had a falling out with one of your friends? Did one of them have a problem with what you are?”

“No. My friends are great, they really are. They all took it really well.”

John was running out of ideas. “Is there a problem with your infection? Should we be calling Madame Pomfrey?”

“No, it’s not that. It’s not school, or my friends, or my illness.”

John ran his fingers through his hair. Damn, this was more difficult than he thought. How did Anne make this look so easy?

“Okay, Remus, here’s the thing. I’m not as good at the parent thing as your mum. So, you’re going to have to help me out here. Whatever it is, you can tell me. There is nothing I can’t handle. Wizard, werewolf, whatever, I can handle it all. So, just tell me,” John said and he watched as Remus chewed at his lower lip.

Remus couldn’t hide it. His parents had always been there for him, he wanted to tell them. But his father was a muggle, he didn’t know of a single muggle who accepted gay people. 

“Dad, I…” Remus said, and then he stopped. Damn it, why couldn’t he just get the words out?

“Come on, you can tell me,” John urged.

Remus took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “Dad, I’m gay.”

The silence was deafening. 

“Well…ummm…” John spluttered.

“Dad, I swear, I didn’t choose to be like this. And I didn’t do this on purpose, I promise. Please, don’t hate me, daddy, please,” Remus begged, his tears falling. He couldn’t stop them. His dad was his hero, and now he was going to lose him because of something he couldn’t control.

John smiled and pulled Remus into a hug. He was pleased to feel that Remus was still small enough to fit into it. 

“Remus, I don’t hate you. You’re my son, I love you. Hey now, come on, my sweet little wolf, it’s all right. Come on, look at me,” John soothed, pulling Remus away. Tear filled amber eyes blinked up at him.

“You…you don’t hate me?” Remus asked.

“No, I don’t. Just answer a few things for me. Are you happy being gay?” Remus nodded. “And you know that if you have sex with a wizard you and him can get pregnant, don’t you?” Another nod. “And you can’t tell any muggles, you know that don’t you?”

“I know, dad. It’s illegal in your world, so I can’t tell any of my uncles. I can’t tell anyone, I understand that.”

John nodded. “Right then. What do you fancy for dinner?”

Remus gaped for a moment, before he found his voice once more. “You’re okay with it?”

“Remus, it’s not a choice you made, it’s just the way you are. Your mum explained it all to me when we got together. It’s okay in your world, I know that. It’s fine,” John reassured, kissing Remus on the forehead. “So, dinner? How about we go to Chris and get you some cod and chips?”

Remus couldn’t stop smiling. “Okay.”

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Sirius knocked on the door and waited. He, James, Peter and Lily had been invited to stay at Remus’ house for the whole of August, and they were all excited. The boys had never stayed in a muggle house before, and Lily had never stayed at a friends house before. They were all looking forward to the next few weeks.

Only problem was, there didn’t seem to be anyone at home.

“Are you sure we’ve got the right house?” Lily asked.

“Number fourteen,” James said, checking his letter from Remus once more. “We’ve got the right house. Really, do you think we’re thick or something?”

“Just you,” she snapped and Sirius shared a look with Peter.

“How about we try and figure this out before you start tearing chunks out of each other?” Sirius suggested as James opened his mouth to argue. The three nodded at him. “Right, so we know we’ve got the right house, and the letters say the second, right?”

“Sunday the second of August at midday,” Peter read from his own letter.

It was the right house, the right day and the right time. But there was still no answer from the house, no matter how hard they knocked.

“Wait, didn’t Remus say he spent Sunday’s in the pub with his family?” Lily said suddenly.

“He did. Peter, you stay with Lily and the trunks, me and Sirius will go and find him,” James said, pulling his friend away before the redheaded girl could protest.

They walked from one end of the street to the other, and then down the next one. They managed to find John and Joe’s Garage, which was shut up, and The Happy Scampi Fish and Chip Shop, which was closed. They were just about to give up and return to their trunks when a voice spoke.

“You lost, boys?”

They spun around to find a very tall blond man staring at them, emerging from one of the houses with a load of board games under his arm.

“We’re trying to find the pub,” James said. “We can’t remember what it’s called.”

“A little young to be drinking, aren’t you? Big Jim’ll never serve you.”

“We’re looking for our friend, Remus Lupin,” Sirius said and the man smiled.

“Ah, you’re his friends from school. John said you were coming next Sunday, on the second.”

“Today is the second,” James supplied.

“Bloomin’ man. He’d forget his head if it wasn’t screwed on. It’s not the first time he’s got mixed up and taken us down with him. I’ll take you. I’m Mike.”

“One of Remus’ uncles?” Sirius asked. “You’re the carpenter, right? The one who plays football with Remus?”

“The very same. And you are?”

“I’m Sirius and this is James.”

“Very nice to meet you, Sirius and James. Come on.”

The two boys followed him down three streets before they caught sight of the pub. It was hard not to, it was painted bright green. Even the doors and window frames were green. Sirius was just glad it wasn’t Slytherin green, that would have been too much. As they entered behind Mike, they found out why the building was green.

“You took your time,” said an Irishman behind the bar.

“Picked up more than games. Did you know that today is the second?” Mike asked.

The Irishman gave them a proper view of himself as he stepped back to check a calendar. He wasn’t too tall, but he was very wide around the middle, and his arms were as thick as Sirius’ waist. He made a mental note never to get on the mans bad side.

“Bloomin’ man, not again,” said the Irishman. “So, which ones did you find?”

Mike stepped back and the man peered at the two teens before he smiled. “At least they’re not as small as our Remus, though I’ll bet good money Chris will try and feed them up. Hello, boys. I’m Big Jim. Remus is around the other side,” Jim said, pointing to the other side of the bar.

The boys followed Mike around the bar and found Remus surrounded by people, a set of cards in his hands and a pile of matchsticks in front of him.

“John, did you perhaps make a mistake?” Mike questioned and John looked up, his eyes landing on the two boys.

“Oh, Christ. Annie’s going to kill me,” John moaned. “Remus, your friends are here. I did it again.”

Remus looked up and grinned. “You’re right, mum is going to kill you. One sec, guys,” he said before he laid out his cards and the man he was playing with groaned.

“How do you always win?” the man said exasperatedly, pushing more matchsticks towards Remus.

“Because Uncle Jim is a wonderful teacher. Look on the bright side, Uncle Joe, at least we were only playing for matchsticks. At least I didn’t fleece you this time.”

Joe nodded and John stood up, Remus joining him. Sirius and James followed the two Lupin’s back to the house where John immediately wished for the ground to swallow him up. Lily and Peter were sitting in the kitchen, having a nice cup of tea with Anne.

“John Andrew Lupin, you swore to me that they were coming next Sunday!” she seethed. “I come back from getting some milk and there they are, standing on the doorstep with four trunks and some tale of Sirius and James going to find the pub!”

“I made a mistake. I’m sorry, Annie, it’ll never happen again,” he promised and she growled.

“Damn straight it won’t. This is the last time I let you keep track of a date. Hello, boys. Come and have some tea and then we’ll get you settled in,” she said. James and Sirius accepted tea from Anne and hid their smirks in their mugs as she continued to berate John.

After she had yelled herself out, she led the teens upstairs, levitating their trunks before her. Lily was safely set up in the spare room. Anne and John’s bedroom lay between it and Remus’ room, so there was no danger of the boys pranking her in the middle of the night. The boys were set up in Remus’ room. Anne transfigured three extra single beds for them from pieces of scrap paper and bits of fluff, and John was grateful his sons room was big enough for them all, or Anne would have skinned him alive, the mood she was in.

Once they were all unpacked, Anne, John and Remus led the four teens to The Shamrock, and introduced them properly to everyone. Peter managed to get Remus’ uncles mixed up within the first five minutes.

“Hey, Remus, what’s that?” James asked, pointing to an odd looking table.

“That’s a pool table,” Remus said. “It’s a game you play.”

“My dad plays that. Fancy a game, Remus?” Lily said and Remus nodded. As he set up the balls, Jim rang the bell.

“The lovely Miss Lily has persuaded our Remus to play. Any takers?” Jim announced and Remus smiled.

“You’re going to have to explain what she’s unleashed, Uncle Jim,” Remus called.

Jim nodded. “Gather round, boys. Remus here hasn’t been beaten at pool since he was four. There is a standing bet that the first person to beat him gets £100.”

The three boys smiled and settled in to watch. Lily was terrible at the game, she sunk the eight ball on her first shot and Remus went easy on her, helping her sink all her colour before the real contenders took their turns. Thirty seven grown men got thrashed by the thirteen year old boy in under an hour, and Peter’s jaw dropped. Remus wasn’t even trying.

Remus persuaded Peter to have a go, even if he did lose, and then James had a turn, not doing much better. John didn’t even accept a game, he already knew he would lose, though all four of the uncles gave it a go. Remus cleared his colour and sunk the eight ball in under two minutes when he played Big Jim, and the others didn’t fare much better. Remus even looked a bit bored. The four teens could see why Remus had been pulled out of primary school, he was just too good at things.

Sirius was finally persuaded to play and Remus gave him a grin as he took a cue. 

“Get ready to lose, Sirius,” James called and Sirius laughed. James didn’t know everything, and Sirius was about to prove it.

“Ready?” Remus asked and Sirius nodded, Chris flipping a coin to decide who would go first. As Remus bent down to break, Sirius leaned in.

“No using werewolf advantage,” he whispered and Remus nodded.

“No Pureblood tricks,” Remus bargained cheekily and Sirius nodded.

Remus broke and sunk four red balls straight off. Sirius took his turn and sunk three yellows, one after the other. The whole pub was silent, holding their breaths. No one had been able to give Remus a decent game for years, but here was this good looking boy giving as good as he got. The game dragged on, the two boys doing their damnest to block the other. It was well over an hour before they each had just one ball left, then the battle to pot the black would begin.

Sirius sunk his first and then missed the black by mere millimetres. Playing with Remus, that could be a very silly mistake. James’ jaw was hanging open and Sirius nudged Remus, pointing at him. Remus chuckled.

“You know, you’re all catching flies,” Remus announced and James’ was not the only mouth to close. Remus sunk his last red and lined up to pot the black. But it was a very bad angle, and it bounced off the edge of the hole. “Damn it,” he muttered and stepped back to let Sirius take his shot.

Sirius lined it up, judged his strength and took his shot. The ball moved in slow motion, and just when everyone was sure he had missed it again, it tumbled off the edge and into the depths of the table.

The whole bar was silent for half a second and Remus covered his ears. It was ear splitting when they all exploded, offering their congratulations and amazement. Sirius was pretty sure he was deaf, so he didn’t know how Remus’ sensitive werewolf hearing had handled it.

“Where did you learn to do that?” Remus asked as the cheering crowd thinned slightly and quieted a little.

“My father felt it was a good way to teach me strategy,” Sirius revealed, pocketing his winnings. “Got to say, you are good. I haven’t had a decent game for years.”

“Me neither. We should play again sometime.”

“Bet on it.”

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Remus rolled over and huffed. The full moon was only two days away and he was restless. He glanced at his sleeping friends and noticed that Sirius’ bed was empty. The door was open too.

Remus slipped from his bed and tiptoed from the room. There was someone downstairs, he could hear their heart beating in the living room. He crept down the creaky stairs, careful to avoid the third one from the bottom which creaked more than any other. He could smell Sirius now. Ah, the joys of werewolf senses. 

He padded into the living room and found Sirius examining the remote control, waving it at the TV and trying to figure out why it wouldn’t work. He stifled his laugh and plucked it from his fingers, making him jump.

“What are you doing up?” Remus asked as he curled up into a ball on the sofa.

“Didn’t you know? I don’t sleep,” Sirius said. “I was trying to amuse myself. Your books are all on shelves above your bed, I couldn’t get to them. I forgot to ask for one before you went to sleep.”

“You don’t sleep?” Remus questioned as he turned on the TV. There was nothing on but the night screen picture, but it gave them some light.

“Nope.”

“How do you survive?”

“Twenty minutes a night. Well, I did once sleep fourty, but I had the flu,” Sirius said honestly. “Didn’t you ever wonder how I figured out what you are?” Remus nodded. “I noticed you were always sick on the full moon.”

Remus sniggered. “Very observant. Sirius, can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Why do you hate the Dark Arts so much? I mean, that is why you hate Severus, isn’t it? Because he has a thing for them? You seem to really hate all the Slytherin’s, and we all know that they’re drowning in Dark Arts. That’s what the problem is, isn’t it?”

Sirius gaped at him for a moment while his mind processed what Remus had asked. Sirius had never intended to tell Remus of his family, not really. What he had told Remus, he had been vague about. But Remus had told him his secret, didn’t Remus deserve his honesty as well?

“I’ll tell you if you answer one of my questions,” Sirius bargained and Remus considered it for a moment before nodding. “Will you tell me what happened when you were bitten? You and the teachers skimmed over it when you explained everything. I’m curious.”

Remus sighed and stared at the patch of carpet. The rug had been thrown out as soon as he was bitten, he hadn’t been able to stand having it in the house, no matter how many cleaning charms his mother cast upon it.

Remus stood up and walked to that patch, sitting down on it, cross-legged. “I was sitting here, like this,” he said. “I was reading a book. You can see the kitchen from here, you know. I was just sitting here, and dad was sitting where you are, in that armchair. He was reading the paper. Then this huge grey werewolf burst through the kitchen window. Mum was washing dishes, she got sent flying, and dad tried to stop it as well, but he just got thrown too. And then it came for me. I raised my arms, like I did with Honeyduke the dog. He didn’t get a good grip on me, but it was good enough.” He let out a hollow laugh. “I was so scared. I’ve never been more scared in my whole life. I was a small kid, and it was huge. I was terrified. And the more I tried to pull myself free, the more it growled,” Remus said, picking at the carpet. “Then mum blasted it and it scarpered. Dad cleaned me up as best he could, in the bathroom. He sat me on the toilet lid and sponged my arm. Then Professor Dumbledore came and explained everything.”

Sirius couldn’t keep his anger from bubbling up. It was so unfair. Remus was one of his best friends, the one who had shown him the Muggle World and never laughed at his questions. Remus suffered all that, and every single month since, all because of Voldemort. 

“Dad still feels guilty, you know,” Remus revealed, reclaiming his seat on the sofa. “He thinks that if he hadn’t lost his temper at Voldemort, then I wouldn’t be like this, it wouldn’t have happened. Doesn’t matter what anyone says to him, he still feels it’s his fault.”

Sirius took a deep breath. “You asked why I hate the Dark Arts. You just answered it,” he said and Remus looked puzzled. “All the Slytherin’s, they think that Voldemort is big and clever, that hurting people is the way to go. I don’t. I hate Voldemort. Look at what he had Greyback do to you. In what way is that right?”

Remus shrugged and Sirius took a deep breath, letting it out in one long sigh. “I hate the Dark Arts because I can do them.”

“What?” Remus asked.

“I’ve been able to do the Unforgivable’s since I was small. It’s what my family wants for me. Voldemort was a regular dinner guest at my house, still is. My parents aren’t Death Eaters, but they work for him. And that’s the life they have planned for me. They want me and Regulus to become Death Eaters. You have no idea what it’s like. For my sixth birthday, my dad gave me his wand and made me cast Crucio on Kreacher. I’ll never forget how much it hurt him, how he screamed. See, Reg buys into all that Pureblood shit, and the Death Eater bollocks. That’s why I was so excited to meet you. You grew up here, and knew all about the Muggle World, and let me ask all the questions I wanted. You let me read your muggle books, and come and stay in your muggle house. I hate the Dark Arts so much because it’s all I ever heard when I was young. You’re half-blood and you’re just as good a wizard as I am. I don’t see what makes Pureblood’s so superior, and my family hate me for it,” Sirius explained.

The Pureblood sat there silently, waiting for Remus to tell him to get the hell out of his house. But it never came.

“I understand now. And I’ll stop trying to get you to be nice to Severus,” Remus said quietly.

Sirius smiled at him.

“I have another question,” Remus said with a smile and Sirius nodded cautiously. “Why is your teddy bear called Cuddles? I told you why mine is called Romulus, but I never got round to asking about yours.”

Sirius sniggered. “My mother had all my toys thrown out when I was seven. It’s common in Pureblood families, the parents decide when it’s time for their children to become adults. For me, it was age seven. My mother said I could keep one toy, so I kept Cuddles. He’s called Cuddles because…well, when I was little my mother wouldn’t hug me. She’s always looked at me like I’m something horrible. When I asked him why mother wouldn’t cuddle me, my father said that cuddles were for teddy bears. James’ dad gave me the bear for my fifth birthday, and it always felt the best to cuddle. So I called it Cuddles.”

Remus stared at his friend and silently wondered how the hell he had ended up so normal. By all rights, Sirius should be a raving loony by now, what with all the trash his family spouted. They sounded positively torturous compared to his own family. But he put all that to one side. He had something to correct first.

“Come and sit on the sofa, I want to show you something,” the werewolf said and Sirius changed seats without question.

As Sirius sat down, the two of them facing each other, Remus leaned in, wrapped his arms around Sirius’ neck and hugged him. Sirius was still for a few moments before he wrapped his arms around Remus’ ribs.

“Cuddles are for everyone, not just teddy bears,” Remus murmured in his ear.

Sirius couldn’t say anything. And he couldn’t stop his tears. They were soaking Remus’ pyjama top, and Sirius knew his friend could feel it, but the boy didn’t seem to mind. In fact, he began to stroke his hair. It was wonderful, that cuddle. With all his partners, it was never tender like this. There were never just hugs. It was all about kissing and pleasure. But Sirius couldn’t think of anything else that felt better than a cuddle.

Remus pulled back and wiped away Sirius’ tears. “You can have a cuddle anytime you like, you just have to ask. Not just me, you can ask my parents for a cuddle too, and my uncles. They give them all the time,” he whispered and Sirius nodded. “Do you want a cup of tea? I’ll sit up with you.”

“You don’t have to,” Sirius argued and Remus shook his head.

“It’s too close to the moon, I’m too restless to sleep. How about a game of Scrabble?”

Sirius smiled. “Okay then, tea and Scrabble. Will you teach me how to make tea the muggle way?”

Remus grinned and nodded. As the two boys moved into the kitchen, Sirius realised that he was starting to feel something other than friendship for Remus. No matter how he tried to dismiss it, he couldn’t forget how much he had enjoyed Remus’ arms around his neck.

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Their third year at Hogwarts began with Remus finding himself a boyfriend and Sirius realising he wasn’t attracted to women at all. 

Sirius’ revelation came about in week one of the year, when he was shoved into a broom closet by Jennifer Mahler of Ravenclaw, his partner at the time. She kissed him breathless and then stripped them both. It would have been brilliant, and rather kinky, if Sirius had been able to get it up, that is. It wasn’t that he didn’t like Jenny, he really did, she was a great girl. But there was something about her equipment that just didn’t entice him.

She was very good about it, listening to him as he explained that he just wasn’t that way inclined, and she agreed to keep his little performance problem under wraps. It would do his reputation no good if it got out. They agreed to stay friends, and she began dating Michael Hopkins of Hufflepuff the next day. Sirius continued to hop from partner to partner, all of them male now. He even dated Fabian for a few weeks. Rumours began to fly about who he had and hadn’t shagged, and he didn’t deny any of them, so people decided he was shagging every boy in sight.

Remus was having slightly better luck with his love life. On the first day of term, the morning after the welcome feast, Malcolm Simian of Hufflepuff walked right up to the Gryffindor table and asked him out, in full view of everyone. Remus had blushed a furious shade of red and shyly nodded.

The year went well for the four friends, mostly. The first term was mostly uneventful, aside from the detentions Remus’ three friends kept landing themselves in. James and Sirius seemed to have discovered the fun of breaking rules, and Peter did whatever they told him to. Their treatment of Severus and the other Slytherin’s didn’t improve, but at Remus’ request they were never too cruel to them, no matter how much they wanted to be. Remus still had hopes that maybe one or two of the Slytherin’s could be won over to the side of the Light, instead of just falling blindly into Voldemort’s service. James and Sirius thought he was misguided but allowed him to try.

Lily and James’ relationship didn’t get any better. If anything, it got worse. Now there were full on slanging matches across the Common Room. These were fun to watch, if a little venomous. James was usually outdone by the girl, which his friends found highly hilarious. 

The teens got their first chance to visit Hogsmeade, and they enjoyed it thoroughly. Sirius quickly found Zonko’s and stocked up on as many jokes as he could, most of which ended up being used on the Slytherin’s. Remus was more a fan of Honeydukes, and rather enjoyed their different variants of fudge. Peter trailed after James like a little puppy, following him up to have a look at the Shrieking Shack from the outside. 

Gryffindor won their first match against Hufflepuff, which caused two things to happen. Firstly, the Slytherin’s became worse than ever, which wasn’t helped by Lucius being Head Boy. And James became more adored by the student population, which pissed Severus off no end.

Christmas was a wonderful affair. James and Peter went home and Sirius was invited by Remus’ parents to spend Christmas at the Lupin house. He thoroughly enjoyed himself, and managed a third helping of the Christmas dinner Anne cooked the muggle way. She had even taken it upon herself to teach him to cook the muggle way, and the Lupin’s all found Sirius to be an excellent cook, after he passed the phase of burning things.

In fact, everything was uneventful until March, a week before Remus’ fourteenth birthday. 

Remus and Malcolm were sitting by the lake, watching the Giant Squid wave its tentacles lazily at them. The night before, they had discovered the Room of Requirement and their little exploration session had not gone to plan. True to Hufflepuff form, Malcolm wanted to discuss the problem and help Remus figure it out.

“It’s not that I’m upset or anything, just curious,” Malcolm said. “I mean, I thought we were going really well. I just want to understand. Is it that you’re not ready?”

Remus sighed. He liked Malcolm, and he wasn’t a bad kisser. There was just something that didn’t feel quite right.

“I don’t know what it is, Mal, but I don’t want to do it with you. I don’t want to do it, period,” Remus said.

“Am I not the one you want your first time to be with?”

Remus smiled. That was one of the wonderful things about Malcolm, he never got offended. Oh, James and Sirius had both tried, but Malcolm had just laughed it off.

“Sorry, Mal, but no, I don’t want it to be with you,” Remus said honestly and Malcolm nodded. “It’s nothing personal, it’s just…”

Malcolm waited patiently, and neither of them noticed that they were being watched and listened to. Remus really should have been able to hear the eavesdropper, but he was too focussed on the moment, on trying not to say the wrong thing.

“Here’s the thing, right. I want my first time to be with the right one. I like you, Malcolm, I really do, it’s just-”

Malcolm laughed, interrupting him. “I’m not the right one, Remus, I know that,” Malcolm said. “You don’t have to say it. I mean, come on, Malcolm and Remus together forever. Yeah right! Me and you were never destined to be some great love story. Me and you, we’re just fooling around. I understand, really.”

Remus grinned. “You’re a really great friend, you know that?”

“Yeah, I know. And I think it wise if that’s all I am from now on. I’m not what you’re looking for, and not to be mean or anything, but you’re not for me,” Malcolm said and Remus nodded. “Hey, it was fun, wasn’t it?”

“Very fun.”

As break ups went, it was the pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. It was probably the tamest break up Hogwarts had ever seen. That was, until the two boys heard a voice.

“Well, well, well, look at this. Friend of the Hogwarts Stud, a frigid little boy.”

They spun around to find a whole group of Slytherin’s watching them. The two standing right in front were Severus and Lucius, and they were both sneering at Remus.

“What do you want?” Malcolm said as he and Remus got to their feet.

“Just wondering why Remus can’t pick up some tips from Sirius the shameless,” Lucius said. “All that stuff about ‘the right one’. Please, spare me. Severus, don’t you agree?”

“Yes, I do. It amazes me that Remus is such a child. Obviously, he should find better friends.”

“Absolutely,” Lucius said. “Severus has told me how accommodating you can be. How about it, Remus? Want to join our group, be a real man?”

Remus couldn’t help it, he just couldn’t. It was too close to the moon for him to keep his tongue under control. It was made all the worse by Severus joining in. Severus was meant to be his friend, why was he doing this?

“And what makes you real men, the fact that you play with your bollocks, or that you’re the biggest slut in the school, Malfoy?” Remus spat.

To the shock of everyone it was Severus that answered him, and his answer was absolutely the wrong thing to say to a confused werewolf two days away from a full moon.

James, Sirius and Peter emerged from their detentions to hear the cry of “FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!”

They bumped into the twins and found out that the fight was down by the lake. The three younger boys raced across the grass. They were in no way prepared for what they found. 

Remus pinning Severus to the ground by his throat.

Severus looked like a truck had hit him. He was bruised and bloody, and he was turning blue from lack of oxygen. It took James, Sirius, Peter, Fabian, Gideon and Malcolm to pry Remus off him, and when they finally did, they found several professors watching the scene, one of them being Dumbledore.

Remus didn’t wait for anyone to say anything. He broke free of his friends and raced across the grounds, out of sight. Professor McGonagall believed Fabian’s hurried explanations of what had happened, how they had not been involved, and the boys were given permission to go and find Remus. The Slytherin’s and Malcolm went with Professor Slughorn to clear up what had caused Remus’ outburst.

It was Sirius that found him, hiding in the branches of a huge oak tree, sobbing for all he was worth.

“Remus, come down from there. I’m useless at climbing trees,” Sirius called gently and Remus shook his head. Sirius sighed and began to climb. It took him a very long time, long enough for James and Peter to find them. The other two climbed up as well. Actually, Peter needed to be levitated up.

As soon as Sirius settled himself on the branch behind Remus, the smaller boy spun around and buried his face in Sirius’ shirt. Sirius held him while he cried, waiting for the sobs to slow a little before he tried to find out what had happened.

In all their time at Hogwarts, Remus had never argued with the Slytherin’s. He had never said a harsh word to anyone. For him to have attacked Severus, a boy who was supposedly his friend, Severus must have said something really bad.

“What happened?” James asked as Remus accepted a tissue from Peter to mop up his tears.

Remus took a deep breath and picked at the tree bark. “Swear to God you won’t laugh?”

“Remus, when have we ever laughed at you?” James said. “Just tell us what that little bastard did.”

Remus snuggled against Sirius once more. Sirius was really rather good at cuddles, considering he had never really had them as a child. The taller boy didn’t seem to mind, he was hugging him back.

“I was sitting with Malcolm. We were talking. Me and him, we kind of broke up. It was a nice break up, really, we’re still friends. Me and him, it’s just not right. It’s fun, but we’re not the right ones for each other.”

“The right ones?” Peter asked.

Remus nodded. “Well…me and Malcolm were fooling around yesterday and he wanted to go further. I said no. That’s what we were talking about, he wanted to know why,” Remus explained. “So, I told him, I’m waiting for the right one. I know it sounds stupid-”

“It doesn’t sound stupid. It sounds romantic,” Sirius argued. “Go on. Was Malcolm upset he wasn’t the right one?”

“No, he was great about it. He’s a really nice guy, and we decided to be just friends. But then Lucius and Severus and all the rest turned up. They’d been listening. They said all these things about me, about how I should have picked up some tips from you, and how I was a frigid little boy. Lucius wanted me to join his group of friends.” He sighed. “I know I shouldn’t have said it, but it is only two days until the moon, I couldn’t help it.”

“What did you say to him?” James pressed.

“I asked Lucius what made him a man, that he played with his bollocks or that he was a slut,” Remus whispered. “And then Severus stuck his big nose into it.” He punched a thick branch and it cracked where his fist impacted. “I can’t believe he did that. And all the things he said. I thought he was my friend.”

“Forget him, he’s not worth it,” Sirius said, stroking the thin back.

“But it’s all his fault!”

“Okay, I’m lost,” Peter said.

“Let me clarify it for you,” Remus said savagely. “Severus saw me and Malcolm. Severus earwigged on us. Severus went and got all the other snakes. Severus joined in and called me a frigid little mudblood. Still lost?”

The three of them gaped at him. It was probably the worst word to call Remus, especially so close to the moon. Sirius held the boy closer at the thought of what could have happened if Remus had squeezed a little tighter. The boy could have easily killed him, they knew that. 

“Guys?” Remus mumbled into Sirius’ chest.

“Yeah?” Sirius replied.

“You know all those pranks you want to pull on the Slytherin’s, the ones I always told you not to do?”

“Yeah.”

“Forget I said anything. Go right ahead, do whatever you like to them. I don’t care anymore. They can’t be saved, none of them. And Snivellus can go to hell for all I care.”

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Remus’ parents were called to the school, and Severus’ mother. The two boys were made to recount the whole thing for their parents, and Severus mother looked supremely ticked off. She grabbed him by the arm and dragged him off to the Dungeons, where Professor Slughorn leant her his office in which to deal with her son.

Remus found himself alone in Dumbledore’s office while his parents talked to Dumbledore and McGonagall in McGonagall’s office. Sirius, James and Peter were also talking to his parents, giving their views on it.

Remus had the idea he was in very big trouble. Attacking Severus had been a really stupid thing to do, but it had hardly been his fault. It was the wolf, it was always the wolf. It made him do things he didn’t want to, things he would never do if it wasn’t for the wolf. Remus suddenly became very frightened of the impending full moon. He didn’t want it to come, didn’t want to change. He was tired of it all. Tired of the pain of the changes, of the humiliation of having Pomfrey clean him up every morning, of the lies he had to tell.

Remus was so lost in his own little depressed funk that he didn’t hear the others return. 

“Remus?” John called, shaking his sons thin shoulder. Remus jerked and looked up at them with tear filled amber eyes.

“Mr Lupin,” Dumbledore called, catching Remus’ attention. “Your friends have explained to me what prompted your actions. You will receive a detention with Professor McGonagall, but that is all. I shall not be expelling you.”

“Thank you, Professor,” Remus whispered.

“As for Mr Snape, he has been suspended for a week for humiliating a fellow student.”

Remus didn’t hear anything else. The sun had set and he could see the moon out of Dumbledore’s window. Two nights from now, he would become a horrible monster, and it was all Voldemort’s fault. It wasn’t fair. He wasn’t a bad person, he didn’t do anything to deserve this. For the first time since he was infected, Remus hated himself.

Sirius looked up to see Remus crying. The boy stood up and walked to the window, crying for all he was worth once again. 

“Remus? Darling, what’s wrong?” Anne asked, slowly approaching her son. “You didn’t hurt him, darling. Severus is all right, Madame Pomfrey patched him up.”

“I don’t care,” Remus sobbed. “I don’t care about any of it. I hate this! Make it stop, just take it away! I don’t want to be like this anymore!”

Anne reached out to try and hug her son, to try and soothe him, but Remus just walked away from her. He didn’t want his mother to try and make this seem all better like she did every other time. He didn’t want his father to put a nice spin on it. 

This could not be made better, there was no nice spin for this.

“Remus, we understand that this is difficult for you,” John said and Remus glared at him accusingly.

“No, you don’t! You have no idea what this is like!” the boy screamed. “How could you know? You don’t have to go through it! You don’t have your bones snap, you don’t rip yourself to shreds! You don’t have to fear every full moon!” Remus sank to the floor, hugging his knees and burying his face in them.

Sirius watched his friend fall apart and found it heartbreaking to watch. He had met Greyback, and he hated him more than Voldemort. It was his fault, he had done this to his friend. That feeling he couldn’t name was rising to the surface again, the feeling of something more than just friendship. 

Sirius stood up and walked slowly across the room, sinking down until he was eye to eye with Remus. Slowly, he reached out his hand and brushed Remus’ hair away from his face. Remus took a swing at him, but he was fast enough to jerk back. Just.

“Remus, look at me,” Sirius said firmly. Remus shook his head and Sirius smiled. “You’re right, you know. How are you always right?”

Remus sniffed and wiped at his face with the back of his hands, shrugging.

“None of us can understand what it’s like for you, and I’m not going to be stupid and try and imagine it. I can’t get it, I can’t understand, I know that. But I understand that you feel bad. I get that one. Don’t you remember me telling you about why I feel bad?”

“I remember,” Remus mumbled. “Your family, what they believe, the way they treat you.”

“Exactly. And you asked me about Cuddles, how he got his name. Do you remember what you did when I told you?”

“I gave you a cuddle and told you they were for everyone, all you had to do was ask.”

Sirius smiled. “Exactly. And do you know what else I learnt that night, what I figured out without you telling me?” Remus shook his head. “I learnt that it’s okay to fall apart. It doesn’t make me weak or anything. It’s okay to scream and shout. So, now I teach you. It’s okay for you to fall apart.”

Remus looked up into the kind blue eyes and considered everything Sirius had said. 

“I hate this,” Remus whispered. “I hate being like this.”

“I know you do. And I wish I could make it go away. But we still like you, monthlies and all.”

Remus actually managed a gasp of laugher at that one, before his tears took over once more. He didn’t need to say anything. Sirius sat down next to him to him, leant against the wall and pulled Remus into his arms. He held him as he fell apart, as McGonagall let the other two boys go to Gryffindor Tower. Anne and John took their seats once more and tried not to cry with their son. 

Albus simply sat there and watched the two teens. He had been sceptical about the friendship between the two, but he was glad to have been proven wrong. He had assumed it would not last, what with Sirius’ upbringing. It didn’t seem to be an issue. If anything, it seemed to have brought them closer. If he wasn’t mistaken, those two would be friends for many years to come.

He hoped he was right.

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Easter break that year brought a few surprises for Sirius.

“Hey guys, wanna meets some very special boys?” Fabian said as he entered the common room.

Sirius, Remus, James and Peter were sitting around talking about the new broomsticks on the market, comparing the strengths and weaknesses of each. James needed a new one, his had just been destroyed by the Whomping Willow after he fell off it and it drifted into the tree.

“Sounds like you’re trying to set Remus or Sirius up,” James joked, making Sirius shove him.

“Shut up, Potter. Neither of us need help getting a date, unlike you,” Sirius replied.

“Who are you talking about, Fab?” Remus asked, ending the bickering before it really took off.

Fabian disappeared out of the portrait hole and returned a moment later with Gideon and two small redhead boys.

“This is Charlie, who will be four in August,” Fabian said, setting the larger of the children down and taking his hand.

“And this is William, who we all call Bill. He’ll be two in October,” Gideon said, tickling the little boy, who had the most infectious giggle.

“Molly brought them for a visit and we thought Sirius would like to meet his new nice family members. Would you believe she’s expecting their third?” Fabian said, leading Charlie over to a widely grinning Sirius. “Charlie, say hello.”

“Hello,” Charlie replied obediently, waving one pudgy hand at them all. He was a little barrel, one of those kids that could be dropped and would bounce. Sirius held out his hands and Charlie immediately toddled to him, allowing himself to be picked up.

“Hello, Charlie. I’m Sirius.”

“Si’ius,” Charlie repeated as Bill was handed over to James, the baby making a grab for his glasses. “Who are they?” Charlie asked, pointing at the three other boys.

“This is James, and that’s Peter. And this one here, his name is Remus,” Sirius said, pointing them all out.

“James, Peter, Re’us,” he repeated, pointing one tiny finger at each of them.

“Clever boy. Hey, Charlie, you want to go for a walk outside?” Remus suggested and the child nodded. “It that okay, guys? It’s a nice day, I’m sure the boys will enjoy it.”

“Fine. Molly said she doesn’t care what we do with them, just as long as they come back in one piece,” Gideon said. “She looks absolutely knackered.”

“Hang on, we have to wait,” Fabian said. “We’ll go in a minute.”

“Why?” James questioned, fending off the tiny grabbing hands without success. “Help, someone.”

Remus reached over and plucked Bill from his arms, freeing the glasses from the tiny fist and handing them back to James. He sat Bill on his knee and began to bounce him, the little redhead squealing in delight.

“How did you do that?” Gideon asked. “Molly says he never stops moving now he can walk. He won’t sit still, how did you do that?”

Remus shrugged. “I don’t know, he must just like me. So, what are we waiting for?”

“Child number three,” Fabian said as there was a knock at the portrait. He stood up and opened it for a woman and a little girl with bright pink pigtails and orange eyes. “Sirius, you remember Andromeda, don’t you?”

“Andie!” Sirius cried, carrying Charlie with him as he moved forwards to hug the woman.

“Hello!” she laughed. “Look at you, you’ve shot up like a weed. Any taller and Canis will put a bag of cement on your head.”

“What’s cement?” Sirius asked.

“Muggle thing, they build things with it. Walls, pavement. You know those paving slabs my street is covered with? Those are made of cement,” Remus supplied and Andromeda looked impressed.

She was tall and slim, willowy almost, like Sirius. She had the same blue eyes as him too, but dark brown hair instead of his blue-black.

“Well done. Muggleborn?” she said.

“My mum’s a Muggleborn witch, my dad’s full muggle,” Remus said at James’ nod.

“My, my, Siri, Canis and Belladonna must be so impressed,” she teased. “Albus sent me a letter saying Molly would be bringing her boys to meet you and I thought you’d like to meet my little girl. Sirius, this is Nymphadora.”

James laughed as Sirius tickled the tiny girl under the chin. “Poor kid with that name,” James said.

“Just because you have one of the most boring names on the planet, Potter,” she replied and Remus was highly impressed by her easy snubbing.

“How old is Nymphadora?” the werewolf asked.

“She’ll be two in December. I’m sorry, I didn’t catch your name, or the little blond one,” Andromeda said, handing the little girl to Sirius as Charlie toddled over to Remus. 

“I’m Remus Lupin and this is Peter Pettigrew,” he said as he plonked Charlie on his other knee, bouncing both boys.

“Better not let Molly see you handle both of them, she’ll want to take you home,” Gideon joked.

Andromeda sat down and Sirius fussed over the tiny girl, quite content to tickle her senseless, until her hair turned black.

“Whoa. Okay, I’ve never gotten that reaction before,” Sirius said.

“Oh! Did I not mention that?” Andromeda said.

“No,” James said. “It must have slipped your mind. Must come with old age.”

“Watch it, Potter. You’re not too old for me to turn over my knee,” she said with a smile. “Nymphadora’s a metamorphmagus, she can change her appearance at will. She’s copying Sirius. Look, her eyes have gone blue again. She’s copying Sirius to say she likes him.”

Sirius was highly impressed. The little girl was absolutely adorable, as were the two boys. It was times like this he was thankful for the nice side of his family. Andromeda had been the first, and only, person to send him a letter congratulating him on getting into Gryffindor. He’d always liked Molly, the woman was a wonderful cook. She had forever brought cookies and cakes with her when she accompanied Fabian and Gideon to the Potter’s. He had feared he wouldn’t get to meet Charlie, Bill or Nymphadora. It was a nice surprise to suddenly have them turn up.

“So, how are you getting on? Belladonna sending you plenty of letters on what a disgrace you are?” Andromeda asked Sirius and they all grinned.

“Actually, it’s his father who sends them,” Peter said.

“Ah. What about Belladonna?”

Sirius busied himself by retying one of Nymphadora’s pigtails. “Doesn’t matter,” he said. 

Andromeda sighed and moved to him, ruffling his hair fondly. “Don’t let the snakes get you down,” she said. “Look on the bright side, one day they might disown you. Happiest day of my life, the day my mother threw me out.”

“You were at least a Slytherin,” Sirius argued.

“Yeah, only because I’m too sneaky to be anything else. You, you’ve got a heart of gold.” She laughed. “I dated Ted for three years before anyone found out.”

“My dating habits get reported home by Regulus.”

“Ah, I did hear something about that. The Hogwarts Stud? Quite a title for a third year.”

“Had it since my first.”

“Okay, now I am very impressed. Your first year, really?” He nodded. “I bet Canis was so pleased.”

“Sorry to interrupt, but I think these boys are getting restless. Shall we go outside where they can run around without breaking anything?” Remus said, trying to keep hold of a squirming Charlie.

They gathered the children up and moved to the portrait hole, Andromeda talking to Sirius as he carried Nymphadora through. Fabian took hold of Bill and Remus took Charlie’s little hand.

“You called her, didn’t you?” Remus asked. “You and Gideon. It wasn’t Professor Dumbledore who called Andromeda, it was you.”

Fabian grinned. “Yes. I think the last few Canis letters have gotten to him. We thought he could do with a little moral support. Andie was always Sirius’ favourite when we were younger.”

Remus smiled and led Charlie outside, going slow so the little legs could keep up with him. As soon as Charlie saw the grass, Remus let him go, watching him tear off with astonishing speed. All too soon, he came flying at them, throwing himself at Remus who scooped him up and tickled him as they walked. 

“He keeps going like that and you’ll end up covered in bruises,” James called, he and Fabian swinging Bill between them.

“Bruises?” Andromeda questioned. “I didn’t think Charlie was being that rough.”

Remus smiled and handed Charlie to Gideon, pulling up his shirt to show her the bruises on his side from Charlie’s knees. She gaped and then took a good look at him, making his heart stop.

Once they reached the Quidditch pitch, where the wandering children could get into no trouble, Andromeda pulled Remus aside, Sirius lingering close while James and Peter distracted the twins.

“You’re a werewolf, aren’t you?” she said bluntly, making Remus shake his head frantically.

Oh God, showing her the bruises had been very stupid. He should have known better. What was every adult always telling him? Don’t show someone magical your symptoms, they’ll figure it out. How often had his mother told him that? Merlin, if she said anything, he’d have to leave Hogwarts, he’d loose everything.

“Hush, it’s all right, I won’t say anything,” she soothed at his terrified look, pulling him in for a hug. “I was just checking.”

Sirius could see how terrified his friend was and just had to reassure him. He didn’t like seeing Remus like that, and it shouldn’t have to be that way. Remus should not have a heart attack every time someone guessed what he was. There it was again, that strange feeling in his chest. It only happened with Remus and he wasn’t quite sure what it was. He knew it included an inexplicable urge to protect the smaller boy, but apart from that, he couldn’t explain it.

“No one can know, Andie. If people find out, Remus will have to leave Hogwarts,” Sirius said to her and she nodded, miming locking her lips. He turned to Remus. “Don’t worry, Andie’s a good stick. She won’t say anything, I swear. You trust me, don’t you?”

“Of course I do, or you wouldn’t know,” Remus said.

“Then trust me when I say you can trust her. Andie will keep your secret, I promise.”

Remus peered at the witch for a moment before he nodded.

“So, who does know?” she asked as they sat down, Nymphadora toddling off to join the others.

“My parents, the staff here, Sirius, James, Peter and Lily Evans, a girl in our year,” Remus reeled off.

“That’s it? No healers?”

“Only Madame Pomfrey.”

“Have you ever met a man called Jack Jones?” she asked and Remus shook his head. “Well, he’s a friend of my father-in-law. His son Sam is a werewolf. He used to go here, until he was bitten by Greyback.”

“He’s the one who bit Remus,” Sirius said.

“Yeah, I’m not surprised. Did Voldemort want you for something?” she questioned.

“My dad said Voldemort wanted to take me away, have me raised by wizards. My dad got angry at him, said things, and then a few days later Greyback burst through our kitchen window and bit me.”

“Sadistic prick,” she snarled. “Sorry, sorry. I just hate that bastard. He’s not a man, no where near.”

“Voldemort or Greyback?” Sirius said with a smile.

“Both.” She paused. “What about Fabian and Gideon, do they know what Remus is?”

“No, they think he has a blood disorder. Everyone thinks that.”

“Maybe you should tell them. They can keep a secret, trust me. And they’re very handy to have on side,” she said but the boys shook their heads.

“We can’t, we promised Dumbledore,” Sirius said. “The four of us only found out because we found Remus as he was changing back one morning.”

“Yeah, because you’re nosy sods, the lot of you,” Remus joked. “If Sirius and the others told someone, Dumbledore would just obliviate who they told. Once I leave Hogwarts, I can tell whoever I like, if I want to. But while I’m here, I can’t.”

Andromeda peered at the small boy and felt her respect for him rise. This boy was barely fourteen, it was a lot to handle. Sam Jones was twenty two and still had problems with it. 

“Where was I? Oh yeah, Sam Jones. Well, Sam was home schooled, his father’s a Healer. He’s a really nice man, both of them are, wonderful with Nymphadora. They come for dinner every now and then. If you’re ever looking for a good one, his father Jack is nice. And I’m sure Sam will be an excellent Healer when he’s trained.”

“He’s training to be a Healer?” said Sirius.

“Yes, and I’ll bet he’ll be a damn good one too. Let me think…he’ll be twenty three in September…been training since he was seventeen…so he’ll qualify in about…six years, give or take. That will make you…twenty, I think.”

“Maths never was her strong point,” Sirius said to Remus in a stage whisper, earning a slap around the head.

“Oi! I’ll have you know, my maths is fine. You try doing maths when you have a one year old child keeping you up at night!”

“Hey, we need to take Bill and Charlie back to Molly. Bill’s having a nappy situation and Charlie wants his mother. We’ll be back in a bit, with or without the boys,” Fabian called over and Andromeda waved them away.

He and Gideon scooped up the two redheads and walked off with them, leaving Peter and James entertaining Nymphadora. 

“They’re really good with her,” Andromeda commented. “I’d consider giving her to them permanently if Ted weren’t so attached to her.”

“How is Ted?” Sirius asked as Nymphadora began to use James as a climbing frame.

“He’s doing really well, just got a new job in the Ministry,” she said and Sirius snorted. “I know, I know, too many members of the family in that place to make me really happy, but I doubt many members of the family work in the Muggle Relations office.”

“Doubtful,” Sirius agreed. 

“So, how are you getting on, honestly?”

Sirius sighed and laid back, cushioning his head on his arms. “There it is, the offer to listen to me offloading. Knew it was coming. What do you want first, home or here?”

“Your choice.”

Sirius looked over at Remus, hesitating, before he remembered Remus knew all about his family, he could say anything he liked. Andromeda was the only one who could understand how he felt. The family had disowned her as soon as she said yes to Ted Tonks’ proposal of marriage. They had had a major problem with her dating him, but they had assumed she was just being rebellious, having a little fun until she was married off to their choice in husbands for her. Their choice happened to be Antonin Dolohov, a known Death Eater. Sirius had actually cheered when he found out Andromeda had married Ted. Subsequently, he had spent a week in bed from the beating his mother had given him, but he had considered it worth it.

“Home’s the same as usual,” Sirius said. “Mother acts like I’m something she’s stepped in, same as always. Reg’s the perfect son, I’m the mistake.”

“You’re not a mistake,” she countered.

“To her, I am. I was unplanned, she never wanted me. What, you thought I didn’t know? Oh, yeah, she threw that one out in the last blazing row we had. She never meant to have me, she didn’t want me, and only her father’s interference made her keep me. I’m a mistake, a disgrace, a disappointment, and anything else you can think of to describe a miserable pathetic failure of a son,” Sirius reeled off. “Father never changes the tune, still sends me Howlers and gets Reg to try and talk me round to the ‘proper way of thinking’. He was so mad when I got into Gryffindor. Along with everything else I do. My friends, my reputation, my house, my hair, my dating habits, to name just a few. He couldn’t pick holes in my schoolwork until I chose to do Muggle Studies, and now he won’t drop it. He’s still Voldemort’s lackey, still wants me to be a Death Eater. Fucking prick. He thinks that if he keeps on long enough I’ll suddenly let that psycho brand me. As if. Let’s just face it, I’m never going to be the son he wants, I’ll always be the mistake and Reg will be the wonder boy. Fuck, you’d think the sun shines out of that little bastard’s arse the way mother and father talk about him, treat him. You know, if I died or something, they wouldn’t even notice. Mother told me that one herself.”

Andromeda was at a loss over what to say, but she was shocked when Remus did know.

“Fuck your family. We still like you, mistake and all,” Remus said and Sirius dissolved into a fit of laughter.

“I can always count on Remus here to cheer me up. Me and him, issues galore.”

“I see that,” she said, grinning. “You know, when Gid told me you and Remus were the best of friends, I didn’t actually believe him.”

“Why, because he’s half?” Sirius said dismissively.

“Well, yes. No offence, Remus.”

“None taken. I’ve met your sisters, I get it,” Remus said. “You are Bella and Cissa’s sister, right? I have got the family tree correct, haven’t I?”

She laughed. “Yes, you have.”

Remus sighed in relief. “Good, because I had to get Sirius to draw me a diagram.”

“Good to see you remembered it. Yes, they are my sisters, unfortunately. Lucky for me, they refuse to acknowledge my existence. I dread to think what they say about me.”

“Roughly the same as they say about Sirius,” Remus said and Sirius sniggered.

“Go on, Brains, reel it off,” Sirius said.

Remus looked thoughtful and Sirius leaned up to whisper in Andromeda’s ear, “It’s incredible, he remembers everything.”

“I heard that, and you’ve been allowed to watch way too much Thunderbirds at my house,” Remus said with a smile. “All right. ‘My, my, Sirius, what will Uncle Canis say? You really should start hanging around with a better class of human, let alone wizard. Too much time with mudbloods and you’ll end up like that waste of flesh Andromeda. Marrying a mudblood, I’m surprised she hasn’t caught something. Mind, it’s only a matter of time. Too much inbreeding, that’s the problem with these mudbloods. She’ll probably produce deformed children. Oh, wait, of course she will, little mudblood bastards polluting the world.’ How was that?”

Remus had even put on a prim girly voice and wagged his finger at Sirius.

“Brilliant,” Sirius gasped in between howls of laughter. “Told you, Andie. Remus is a sponge, never forgets a thing.”

Andromeda was clutching her sides, tears streaming down her face. “That was incredible, I wish I had that on tape, Ted would piss himself. Let me guess. Bella?”

“Yup. At least she’s stopped trying to hit me,” Remus said, not realising what he had said until it was too late.

Andromeda stopped laughing. “She hit you? When the fuck did that happen?” she said, pulling out a pack of cigarettes. “Want one?”

Sirius accepted but Remus declined, grimacing. “I tried one of Sirius’ the other day, I was as sick as a dog. Or a wolf, depending on your point of view.”

“Sorry, I keep forgetting what you are,” she said, lighting up and then holding out her lighter to Sirius. “Ted keeps trying to get me to quit, says I’m setting a bad example for Nymphadora. But, getting back to the topic. Bella hit you?”

Remus squirmed.

“On the train, first year. First time she met him, he asked her what made her superior as a Pureblood. She thought he was being cheeky and slapped him around the face,” Sirius supplied and she laughed.

“And she lived? Remus’ wolf didn’t flare and rip her to shreds?” Remus gaped at her and she ruffled his hair. “Sam tells me everything. I know how werewolves work.”

Remus decided he quite liked Andromeda. He had expected Bellatrix and Narcissa’s sister to be just like them, even if she had married a Muggleborn. He was glad he was wrong. 

“So, Mr Sirius. What about here? How is that going?” she enquired and Sirius sucked at his cigarette for a few minutes before he answered.

“Can you kill Lucius and his little arse kissers for me?”

“Unfortunately, no. The slut getting to you?”

“He never stops. It’s ‘cause I’m the stud and he’s not. He’s wanted that title ever since he got here, and it only took me a few weeks to get it,” Sirius said dismissively. “Oh, and that little bitch Narcissa always whispering in his ear. You know Reg’s in his gang, right? Oh yeah, right little suck up. Keeps going on about how wonderful Lucius is and Lucius thinks and Lucius did this and Lucius did that. If I wouldn’t be arrested for it, I’d kill him and bury him down by the lake.”

“What about your classes? How are you getting on in those?”

“Straight Outstanding’s across the board.”

“Very nice,” she said. “I am very proud of you, do you know that?”

“No,” Sirius said, stubbing out his cigarette and pulling out his own pack to light another. It was what Sirius did when he was upset, he chain-smoked. “No one in the family is proud of me.”

She pulled him into a hug. He stiffened at first and then relaxed. Andromeda had never hugged him before, no one in the family had. No one had hugged him before at all, no one but Remus. “I am proud of you. It takes a lot of hard work to get marks like yours. It’s not just the marks. I’m proud of you for everything. It takes a lot of guts to stand up to the family, or at least that’s what Ted keeps telling me. But you know, every time I feel like begging forgiveness, grovelling to them, I just look at Nymphadora.” Sirius looked over at the tiny girl using Peter as a shield from James’ tickling. “Even if they somehow took me back, they would never take her. Or Ted. I worked too hard to get my family, my real family. And one day you will have something you’re not willing to give up. Until then, you still have me. And you have the twins. And, never forgetting, you have wonderful friends who still like you-”

“Mistake and all,” Remus put in, making them laugh.

“You know, I think I already have something I’m not willing to give up,” Sirius said.

Sirius finally knew what the feeling was, the one he always got around Remus but could never figure out before.

He liked Remus, really liked him. Sirius could suddenly picture, with startling clarity might he add, kissing Remus, touching him, being with him forever.

Oh Merlin. Sirius was in big trouble.

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Sirius spent most of his fourth year wishing he had the nerve to tell Remus how he felt and watching Remus covertly. Subsequently, he spent most of his fourth year in detention for not paying attention in class. He spent his Christmas and Easter breaks at Remus’ house, which didn’t help matters. In fact, it made them worse, but he couldn’t say no, the word just wouldn’t come when Remus asked him if he wanted to stay.

Sirius boarded the train for his fifth year without Remus. The teenage werewolf had been forced to miss the train because of day three of that months change. He would be arriving the next day by floo from the Leaky Cauldron. Sirius spent most of the journey staring out of the window. He didn’t even retaliate when the Slytherin’s came into their compartment to try and make trouble. At least Lucius, Bellatrix, Rodolphus and Rabastan had left, thank Merlin. Severus and Regulus just didn’t have the same bite without the elder members of their gang. James and Peter gave him the space he obviously wanted, and dutifully waved him off when he said he was going to the bathroom.

“What is wrong with you?”

Sirius spun around to find Regulus leaning against the wall, staring at him. 

“What do you want, Reg? Because all I want is to go to the bathroom and take a piss in peace,” Sirius said tiredly.

“Mother and father are worried about you,” the younger Black heir said. “They asked me to talk to you.”

Sirius snorted. “Mother wouldn’t worry about me if I took a nosedive off a bridge. Father is the one who’s worried, let’s just be honest shall we?”

Regulus smiled. “Fine, mother doesn’t give a damn, but father does. He noticed how quiet you were this summer, when you weren’t at Potter’s that is. And just now, when we came in, you didn’t even bat an eyelid. So, now I’m worried. I thought you lived for arguing with us snakes. What is wrong with you?”

Sirius sighed. “Trust me, Reg, when I say you really don’t want to know.”

Regulus showing an interest in his life made Sirius nervous. The two brothers had never had anything in common, aside from DNA. They had never, not once, had a conversation that didn’t end in bloodshed. Sirius just wanted to exit the conversation as soon as possible, before the two of them started throwing fists and hexes left, right and centre.

Regulus must have sensed how uncomfortable he was making his brother. “Listen, I know we’ve never gotten on-”

“Understatement,” Sirius interrupted, making Regulus smile.

“Good point. I just wanted to tell you that if you ever need to talk, or anything, I’m here.”

Sirius’ jaw dropped. “Hang on,” he said as Regulus started to walk away. “What the fuck is going on here? Why are you being nice to me? Usually you’re a little shit.”

Regulus shrugged. “We’re brothers, right? Aren’t we supposed to help each other out?”

“In your case, doesn’t that involve cyanide?”

Regulus laughed. “Most of the time. But, what with your marking coming up in a summer or two, I thought maybe you could use a shoulder to lean on. Just think, this time next year, you’ll be an old married man. The school will need a new Stud, and I was thinking…”

“You were thinking I’d help you steal my title.”

Ah, so that was the game. Sirius was due to marry Morganna Evernight just after his sixteenth birthday, and he was less than enthusiastic about it. Quite frankly, he would rather slit his wrists. Sirius was also due to be ‘marked’ by Voldemort either next summer or the summer after, become a fully fledged member of the Death Eaters. Once again, he was desperately trying to find a way to avoid it. If only there were some way to get away from his family without his father killing him for it.

“Well, I am your brother.”

“Well, I’d rather eat my own eyeballs than help you get my title. Now, why don’t you slither away back to your pit where you belong and stop pissing me off?” Sirius snarled, his patience completely gone.

Regulus held up his hands in a move of submission. “Fine, fine, I’m going. Just remember, no one is going to shag a married man.”

That was what Sirius needed to snap him out of the Remus haze he had been stuck in: Regulus being a prick, reminding him of the life his family had planned for him.

“Hey!”

Regulus turned around to find himself pinned to the wall, Sirius looming over him with a hand around his throat.

“You listen to me, you little bastard. I have no intention of either marrying that inbred bitch or being marked by that psycho arsehole. So, let’s get it straight. I am the Hogwarts Stud and I will not be giving that title up because of that little whore I’m betrothed to. I don’t need your shoulder to lean on, and if you offer me anything as a way to get my title again, I will rip that shoulder off and shove it so far up your arse you’ll be chewing on it. Got it?” Sirius snarled and Regulus hurriedly nodded. “Good. Now fuck off.”

He shoved Regulus away and watched with satisfaction as the smaller boy stumbled a bit before running back to his compartment and slamming the door. 

Oh yes, Sirius had just needed to get his head straight.

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Remus woke up to find Lily sitting beside him.

They were currently in the beginning of October, day three of the change. He really hated this October. Not only did he start off the month with a change, he would end the month with one too. Something about the lunar cycle going funny, November’s change was a week early.

“Morning, Evans,” he croaked, sitting up gingerly. Madame Pomfrey had patched him up at sunrise and left him to sleep it off in the Shack.

“Morning, Remus. Breakfast?” she said and Remus could just smell the nerves.

“Please.”

He accepted his tray and nibbled on his toast while Lily nibbled on her lower lip. Okay, he knew his friends becoming Animagi and taking him out on the full moon wasn’t the smartest thing to do, but they were always in control of him. Was she still angry about it? Had she accidentally let it slip to a teacher? Or was it something about the map they had made? It showed the whole castle, and everyone in it. It was a modified form of the Locator Charm, and even Lily had admitted it was an impressive feat for the quartet of fifteen year old wizards. Had a teacher found it? Were they all in trouble?

“Lily, whatever you’re nervous about, just tell me. Did I do something bad last night?” he asked. “Oh God, did I bite someone?”

“No, no, you didn’t bite someone. And you didn’t do anything bad. Not you,” she said. “Remus, promise me you won’t shoot the messenger.”

“I promise.”

She stood up and backed away a few steps. “Sirius did something bad last night. I wanted you to hear it from a friend before Professor Dumbledore comes here to tell you.” There was a clatter on the stairs and she sighed. “Too late. Just remember, James stopped it before it got too serious.”

Okay, Remus was very confused now. What had Sirius done? As Remus opened his mouth to question her, Dumbledore appeared with James, Sirius and Severus.

“Why is Severus here?” Remus whispered, more terrified than he had ever been.

“Oh, shut it, Lupin,” Severus snapped. “I know what you are, I saw you last night.”

Oh God, Remus couldn’t breathe. 

“Mr Snape has promised not to say anything on the condition he is allowed to work on an experimental potion,” Dumbledore said.

“What potion?” Remus asked.

“It is called the Wolfsbane Potion. It will allow a werewolf to keep their human mind during their monthly changes, making them harmless. Mr Snape would like to develop it, using you as his test subject. For that, we can buy his silence.”

Remus stared at the Slytherin. It was too late to obliviate Severus, he had seen too much. For Dumbledore to obliviate Severus, he could cause a lot of damage, possibly leave him unhinged. Remus considered it. One experimental potion every month in return for Severus’ silence. It was a small price to pay.

“How do I know you won’t poison me?”

Severus scoffed. “As if I’d waste my time,” he spat. “With this potion, I can qualify early to be a Potions Master. I’m not doing this for you, I’m doing it for me. I get my title, you get my silence. Do we have a deal?”

After a few moments of deliberation, Remus nodded and Dumbledore had the two of them sign a contract guaranteeing that, no matter what, Severus would keep his silence and Remus would take his potions until graduation. Once Severus had placed his signature, he swept from the room and Remus curled his knees up to his chest, resting his chin on them.

“How did he find out?” he whispered and Lily took another step back.

“Tell him,” she said.

Remus looked up to see Sirius shaking his head. Lily marched over to him and grabbed him by the hair, pushing him closer to the bed. 

“Tell him! This is your fucking mess, you fucking well clean it up!” she yelled, shoving him away in disgust.

Sirius looked guiltily at Remus and wished he hadn’t. Those beautiful amber eyes staring at him in confusion broke his heart. He knew now that he could kiss any chance of Remus ever going out with him goodbye. He had been so stupid, and in the process he had hurt Remus. He would be lucky if Remus ever spoke to him again.

“I told him how to get into the tunnel,” Sirius mumbled and then watched as Remus crumbled. 

The werewolf sat there in shock, frozen under the weight of the confession. Sirius had betrayed him, done the one thing he had promised he would never do.

“Remus, I am so sorry. I was just so angry at him. He kept going on about the Dark Arts, and he was so smug, and what he did to you and Malcolm-”

Sirius didn’t get to finish his little outpouring. Remus leapt from the bed and punched him around the face. The punch was so hard, it sent Sirius flying across the room, splitting his lip and breaking his nose. Professor Dumbledore didn’t do anything, he just stood there letting Remus handle it. If Sirius was in danger of being murdered or seriously injured, he would intervene. But Dumbledore wasn’t stupid enough to take on a fully mature werewolf the morning after his third change. Many accused him of being an old fool, but he wasn’t suicidal.

“Sorry? You’re sorry?” Remus breathed incredulously. “You betray me to that piece of shit and you’re sorry? You know what, Sirius, you’re pathetic! You swore to me you would keep my secret, you promised!”

“Remus, please, just let me explain!”

“I don’t want to hear your explanations! I don’t want anything from you except your absence! Get! OUT!”

Sirius stared at him for a few moments before he hung his head in shame and hauled himself to his feet, casting one last glance at Remus before he left the room. 

Remus stood there in silence as he tried to take in everything Sirius had said. He had betrayed him. Nothing else seemed to be getting through at that moment. Sirius had betrayed him. That was simple enough to understand, but what wasn’t so clear was what actually hurt more.

Was it the betrayal that stabbed like a knife? Or was it the sadness in Sirius’ eyes?

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It took nine days for Remus to even look at Sirius again, and thirteen for him to speak to him. Sirius didn’t complain, he knew he was damn lucky Remus hadn’t killed him.

“Explain,” Remus said one night.

The two of them were the only ones still awake, Peter and James had fallen asleep hours ago. Sirius had been sitting silently doing his Charms homework and he hadn’t realised Remus was still awake.

Sirius looked over to Remus’ bed to find Remus lying there staring at him.

“How long have you been awake?” Sirius asked cautiously.

“I haven’t gone to sleep yet. I want you to explain why you told him.”

Sirius set aside his homework and made his way over to Remus bed, moving very slowly in case Remus decided he was better off dead. Remus sat up and smoothed down the blanket Anne made him out of self heating wool. Remus only used it when he felt particularly homesick, and he had been using it a lot since Sirius betrayed him to Severus. Sirius was actually shocked that Remus hadn’t decided to pack Hogwarts in and go home, he had every right to.

“Can I sit down?” Sirius whispered and Remus nodded. Sirius took a seat and took a deep breath before he began to explain.

“I was walking past the Slytherin table and I heard Sniv- …I mean, Severus going on about how great the Dark Arts were, and how he had heard of Greyback. He kept going on about how incredible he was, how much power there was behind what he did. And I just kept thinking about you, about how all that power made you like this, about how much you hate it. I just wanted to show him what the Dark Arts do to people, I wanted him to see what Greyback really did to people. I wanted him to see how much Greyback hurt you,” Sirius said, staring at the blanket. “I’m sorry. It was so stupid, and I’ll completely understand if you never want to talk to me again.”

Remus was very silent, and Sirius was just waiting for him to tell him to fuck off. “That’s what Lily told me,” Remus murmured and Sirius looked up at him.

Remus smiled at the surprise in those blue eyes. 

“Yes, Lily spoke to me. And James, and Peter, and Dumbledore, and McGonagall, and Pomfrey, and Slughorn. In fact, I don’t think there’s a single person who knows about me who hasn’t told me the story. I heard that you told Severus how to get into the tunnel, and Peter overheard you. He went and got James, who pulled Severus out before I bit him, but not before he saw what I am. He saw too much, and James said too much to him, for Dumbledore to obliviate him without damage. He was going to try, but Severus came up with the Wolfsbane deal. Am I right?”

Sirius nodded.

“You know, if he poisons me, I’m coming back to haunt you.”

Sirius looked up into those amber eyes and suddenly couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t explain it, this incredible pull he felt to just lean in and kiss Remus. He didn’t act on it. Oh no, Remus might actually kill him for that at this point. Best not to push it.

“You forgive me?” Sirius asked.

“No, and I won’t forget it either. But I understand it. I’m not happy about what you did, but I’m not going to kill you for it either. Just promise me something,” Remus said.

“Name it.”

“Promise me you will never tell anyone ever again.”

“I swear.” He paused. “Does this mean you’re still my friend?”

“Yes, I’m still your friend. And you better cherish me as your friend, because you so don’t deserve my friendship after this.”

“I will,” Sirius said immediately and Remus smiled at him.

“Did you hear about James’ crush?”

“What crush?” Sirius said, looking over at his sleeping best friend.

“On Evans.”

Sirius grabbed one of Remus’ pillows to bury his face in to cover his laughter. “No way! But she hates him!”

“Yes, but he doesn’t seem deterred by it. He’s asked her out seventeen times in the last week, that I know of. She always says she’d rather date the Giant Squid, or something like that. It’s brilliant.”

Sirius dissolved into another bout of laughter and, this time, Remus laughed with him.

Remus watched his mate laugh and wondered if he’d ever be able to tell Sirius how he felt. Sirius hadn’t dated anyone yet this year, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t. Remus knew he could handle it until he admitted how he felt to Sirius, and it would be fine if Sirius didn’t reciprocate his feelings, just so long as they didn’t have sex.

But it didn’t stop it hurting when he thought of Sirius with someone else.

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Sirius couldn’t take it anymore, he just couldn’t. There was this thing inside him fighting to get out, and if he didn’t kiss Remus soon, the pull was going to drive him insane.

It was this simple reason that had him declining the Halloween Hogsmeade trip.

Remus had only come back from the Shack that morning, and he had looked so exhausted that James had only asked him if he wanted to come as a gesture, all of them knowing full well Remus would say no. But it had surprised them when Sirius said he wouldn’t be going either.

So here he was, a stormy Saturday afternoon, trying not to look at Remus’ arse.

They were in the dorm, Remus searching for a book, and Sirius couldn’t stop staring at that wonderful backside as it passed him time and time again.

Sirius couldn’t help but notice that Remus had come into his maturity, at long last. When he saw him heading off with his parents at the end of their fourth year, Remus had still been as small as a first year, skinny, and very very pale. Not the case when Remus finally arrived for their fifth year. Remus had not invited them to stay for the summer, and Anne’s letter had stated that Remus was going through a difficult patch with his ‘condition’. Further letters had explained that Remus had hit his werewolf maturity, and it was not a pleasant experience to be around his constant mood swings. Well, when Remus had arrived for their fifth year, Sirius had seen just what an effect maturing had worked on the object of his desires.

Remus was bloody gorgeous, there was no other way to put it. Only an inch shorter than Sirius now, with a lithely muscled frame, his amber eyes had gone from sweet to enchanting. He was a beautiful example of a man, and a pure example of a dominant alpha werewolf. He was all about control and strength now, and it was more than a little confusing to have Remus still be as sweet as he always was with that commanding aura around him.

“Remus?” Sirius said and Remus hummed without turning around. Sirius gulped. It was now or never, and now was exactly the moment. Who knew when they would get another moment alone like this?

“Remus, I…”

“Go on, Sirius. I’ll be done here in a moment, but I’m listening,” Remus reassured, his head under James’ bed.

Sirius closed his eyes. “Remus, I love you. I’m in love with you. I think you’re the most amazing boy I’ve ever met, and I want to be with you. And if you don’t want to be with me, please just tell me now, or I might go insane.” He opened his eyes to find Remus standing there staring at him. “Oh Merlin. Remus, I get this feeling in my stomach every time I’m near you, or think about you, or see you, and I can’t stop thinking about you. I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anyone else, and I can’t help it. I’ve tried, but I just can’t. I love you, Remus.”

There was absolute still silence and Remus could see Sirius wishing he could reel the words back in. Oh God, his mate had just professed love. In all his widest imaginings, and he had had quite a few of those since he matured back in July, he had never imagined love. Maybe Sirius liking him, fancying him, maybe even wanting to date him. But never love. Remus suppressed his smile at Sirius nervously chewing his lower lip. Now, now, that was his job.

Sirius watched, hardly able to breathe, as Remus slowly crossed the room, smiling softly. One of two things was about to happen. Either Remus was about to reject him, or Sirius was going to get the kiss he had been dreaming of for over a year. He was hoping for the latter.

Remus entwined their hands and kissed him, pressing his body against Sirius’. Sirius was completely still for a moment, before he kissed back. 

Sirius felt that desperate pull inside him disappear, replaced instead by a warm fuzzy feeling. He could feel Remus smiling into the kiss and Sirius moaned, loving the feel of those soft lips on his own. Sirius knew, more than he knew anything else, that he could never let anyone but Remus kiss him. 

Remus pulled back and kissed the tip of Sirius’ nose before resting his forehead against Sirius’.

“I love you too.”

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	2. Chapter 2

“Everyone is staring at us.”

Remus looked around. “You’re right, everyone is staring at us,” he agreed. “Does it bother you?”

Sirius smiled. “Have I ever complained about people admiring me?”

“No.”

“It’s you, I don’t want them staring at my boyfriend.”

Remus grinned. “Worried one of them might try and steal me from the Hogwarts Stud?” he teased.

“Why not? You’re gorgeous, you could have any guy you want.”

Remus sighed and laid back. They were sitting by the lake, enjoying the first warm days of the year while Peter and James were in detention yet again. Remus being a Prefect had it’s perks. Namely, Sirius wasn’t caught sneaking around half so much, and if he was he usually had Remus with him so he was allowed to be out after curfew. Christmas had been quiet, the two of them choosing to stay at Hogwarts. Remus suspected that Sirius was afraid to face his parents after what happened with Severus. It hadn’t mattered as Anne and John had come to Hogwarts to visit Remus and tracked the Pureblood down. They had read him the riot act and then made him promise to visit for Easter. Sirius had agreed immediately.

It was March, a week after Remus’ sixteenth birthday, and the two of them were discussing all the issues they had put off discussing. Like Sirius’ reputation. They had yet to do anything but kiss, and both of them were very happy with that arrangement. There was no pressure to move too fast, which Remus was fine with and Sirius was enjoying immensely.

“All right, here it is. The long put off conversation,” Remus said, sitting up and shoving Sirius’ cigarettes at him. “Light up, it’ll go smoother with a cigarette in your mouth.”

Sirius grinned and lit up. “Okay, I’m ready.”

“I don’t want you to see anyone else while we’re together,” Remus said bluntly. “I know that, with you being the Hogwarts Stud, everyone is after you, but I don’t want it to be like that. I want to be your one and only.”

“Remus, I haven’t kissed or touched anyone else since Halloween. In fact, I think we can safely say people are now only coming to me for tips on how to get my crown,” Sirius said with a smile.

“Really?”

“Yup. You’re my one and only. People are very very jealous.”

“Jealous? Of what, me having the Stud all to myself?”

“There is that,” Sirius said. “There might be the fact of me getting the most gorgeous guy in the whole school for my very own.”

Remus blushed and Sirius chucked his cigarette away before he leaned in, kissing his neck. Remus moaned. “How do you always manage to find that one spot?”

“I am very dedicated to pleasing my beautiful boyfriend,” Sirius said between kisses.

Remus giggled, wrapping his arms around Sirius’ shoulders and letting him lay him down. “I’m not beautiful.”

“To me, you are,” Sirius argued. “To me, you are gorgeous, beautiful, wonderful…”

“Stop! Anymore like that from you and you’ll be able to cook things on my face.”

Sirius laughed, pulling back to lock his blue eyes with Remus’ amber ones. “Okay, okay, back to conversation,” he said. “So, we’ve agreed that I’m off the market, solely for your eyes, hands and lips only. What about you?”

“What about me?”

“Are you off the market?”

“Do you need to ask?” Remus said, laughing, and Sirius chuckled guiltily.

“Good point.” He paused. “There is something I want to know.”

“Ask away.”

“How far did you go with Malcolm?”

Remus spluttered for a moment. “What?”

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have asked,” Sirius said, rolling off him and sitting up, grabbing the pack to light up again.

Remus sat up and reached over, plucking the pack from his embarrassed boyfriend. “It’s okay, you just caught me off guard is all. You really want to know how far me and Malcolm went?”

“If you want to tell me.”

Remus smiled and kissed him hard, making Sirius smile and thread his fingers through the wavy sandy brown hair. Sweet Merlin, did Remus know how to kiss. Never had kissing been this much fun for Sirius. Usually, he was in control. How was it that Remus stripped away everything until all that was left was Sirius’ need to be touched?

“Remus,” Sirius moaned as the werewolf began to nuzzle his neck. “Oh Merlin, please don’t stop.”

“You like?” Remus murmured into his neck.

“Oh yes, I like.”

They spent the next hour like that, kissing and caressing, making each other moan and gasp.

“This is how far me and Malcolm got,” Remus said.

“This? You mean making out?”

“Yup. We never even took our shirts off. Clothes stayed on at all times.”

“You never even saw his dick?”

Remus laughed. “No! Did you?”

Sirius blushed. “Yes. He went down on me once, before the two of you got together. He wasn’t half bad at it. I must say he was very well endowed,” Sirius said, making Remus laugh.

“Christ, you got further with my boyfriend than I did,” Remus giggled.

“You asked!”

“You’re right, I did,” Remus agreed. 

Sirius opened his mouth to tell Remus that he loved him, but he found himself pinned to the ground, Remus kissing him senseless. Sirius moaned as Remus’ tongue duelled with his, wrapping his arms around Remus’ neck.

“Sirius?” Remus whispered against his lips.

“Yes?”

“Can we try something new?”

Sirius cocked an eyebrow. “Something new? What kind of something new?”

“Well, I was kind of thinking about maybe taking some of the clothes off, and see where we go from there.”

“You sure you want to?”

“Yes. How about we go to that wonderful place called the Prefects bathroom and see where the mood takes us?”

The two of them relocated as fast as they could, without looking too desperate. Remus uttered the password and they slid inside, locking the door behind them. Once they were sure they wouldn’t be interrupted, Remus let Sirius loose on the taps, filling the pool-sized tub.

“What is it with you and baths?” Remus asked. “Why do you love them so much?”

“I don’t know,” Sirius said, tilting his head to one side. “I think it’s the water. Something about the hot water washing everything away.”

Remus made his way over to the suddenly depressed boy and captured his lips. “Then I say we take a bath,” he murmured and slowly pulled off Sirius’ cloak, then his robes and his jumper.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Sirius said as he returned the favour, leaving the two of them in their shirts.

“Yes,” Remus said, kissing him and unbuttoning his shirt before pushing it off his shoulders.

Sirius grinned and removed Remus’ shirt, pushing it off his shoulders before running his hands slowly up his arms. He paused at Remus’ bite mark scar, running his fingertips over the wound.

“Am I hurting you?” Sirius asked as Remus hung his head.

“No, you’re not hurting me. It’s just…no one has ever touched it like that.”

“Like what?”

“Well, when my parents see it, or touch it, they get this look on their face. This guilty look. And Madame Pomfrey looks all pitying. But you…you don’t seem to mind it.”

“Of course I don’t. It’s just a part of you. I just get pissed off to think of Greyback hurting you,” Sirius said. He bent his head and kissed the mark, slowly tracing it with his tongue. Remus giggled and squirmed.

“That tickles!” Remus shrieked.

“So, how is that mood taking you?”

Remus kissed him as he reached for Sirius’ belt. He unbuckled it and pulled it from his trousers, before unbuttoning and unzipping them, pushing them down Sirius’ legs. Sirius toed off his shoes and stepped out of the fallen clothes, steadying himself by holding onto Remus’ shoulder as he pulled off his socks, not once loosing contact with his lips.

He reached for Remus’ belt and waited until Remus nodded before opening it, pulling it from his trousers. Remus smiled into the kiss as Sirius freed him from his trousers. The two of them sank to the tiled floor and Sirius pushed him back so he could remove his shoes and socks.

“I’m enjoying this mood,” Sirius said and then froze as Remus toyed with the waistband of his boxers. “Remus, are you sure you want to do this?”

“Yes, I am absolutely sure.”

Remus pulled off the black boxers and stroked the smooth skin of his boyfriends hips. He kissed the Pureblood once more before he laid back and removed his own boxers, tossing the blue fabric aside. Sirius gulped when he saw how well-endowed his boyfriend was. Considering how thin Remus was everywhere else, it was a bit of a shock to see such thickness. And length. And Remus wasn’t even half hard yet. If Sirius wasn’t so confident, he might have felt more than a little inadequate. Sirius shivered when he imagined sucking such a beautiful cock. Slowly, they kissed their way to the tub and sank down into the hot water.

“Definitely liking this mood,” Sirius said as Remus swam away from him. They did a few laps of the pool-sized tub and then took to a water fight.

“I win,” Remus said as Sirius came up for air, spluttering and spitting out water.

“That’s cheating, using your werewolf strength.”

“I didn’t use that so I didn’t cheat,” Remus said, Sirius pulling him into his arms.

Their sweet kiss gathered heat fast, and Sirius pushed Remus up against the wall, warm water splashing over the floor. Sirius nibbled his neck, scraping his teeth along the tender flesh and Remus stopped him.

“I can’t bite you,” Remus said. “I mean, I don’t know if I can or not in human form. So, if you feel me use my teeth when I kiss you, you have to stop me, okay? I would never bite you on purpose-”

“Hush,” Sirius said, covering his mouth with his hand. “I get it. You don’t want to get carried away and infect me. It’s okay. If I feel you trying to bite me, I’ll stop you.”

Remus grinned and kissed him. “You know, I think I know where this mood has taken me.”

“Oh yeah? Where’s that?”

“I’ve never had a blow job. Never given one either. I was thinking first you give me one, show me what to do, and then I return the favour.”

Sirius smiled. “Now, for me to give you head, you’re going to need to sit on the edge of the tub, because I might be good, but I’m not good enough to breathe underwater,” Sirius said, reaching between Remus’ legs and stroking him, making Remus throw his head back and moan.

Sirius helped him pull himself out of the tub and stroked his hands up the trimly muscled thighs, his eyes landing on the huge erection clear for the whole world to see. He laid soft kisses on Remus’ flat stomach, slowly making his way down. He nervously licked the tip, swirling his tongue around it, and Remus gasped. Sirius took him in whole, as deep as he could, Remus half screaming, and Sirius hummed his approval, Remus’ fingers threading through his hair as he laid back, moaning.

Remus had never felt anything so wonderful. The feel of that hot mouth around him, the knowledge that it was his mate doing this to him, it was incredible. Sirius fondled his balls, weighing them like precious jewels, pressing into the soft skin behind and, all too soon, his teenage stamina was pushed to its limit. He tried to call out to Sirius, to warn him, but all he managed to do was scream his pleasure.

When he next opened his eyes, Sirius was resting his head on his thigh, looking very saddened.

“Sirius? Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” Remus said, sitting up and sliding back into the water.

Sirius wiped away his tears and shook his head. “It’s nothing,” he said. “Soap in my eye.”

“Liar. Come on, tell me.”

Sirius stared into the amber eyes and chewed his lower lip. He wrapped his arms around Remus’ waist and buried his head in Remus’ shoulder, feeling those strong slim arms around him, hands stroking his back, smoothing his hair. Of all the things Sirius had told Remus about his family, he had never mentioned his betrothal. He was due to get married in three months and he would have to give Remus up.

“I’m betrothed,” Sirius whispered and Remus froze.

Remus couldn’t quite process what Sirius had just said. Betrothed? Sirius was betrothed? When had that happened? Why hadn’t Sirius told him? Who was she? A million questions were running through his head, and he pushed Sirius back, looking into those blue eyes.

“You’re getting married?” he breathed.

“I’m supposed to. Merlin, Remus, I’ve never even met her,” Sirius said before he dissolved into a bout of tears. “I can’t, Remus, I can’t marry her. But my father will kill me if I don’t. Remus, I can’t give you up. Oh, Remus, I don’t know what to do!”

Remus pulled him into a hug, soothing him as best he could. So, this was like Lucius and Narcissa. It was probably arranged before Sirius could walk or talk, maybe before he could hold his own head up. Sirius had never even met the girl, and she was probably inbred, knowing the Black family. 

“What’s her name?” Remus asked when Sirius had calmed down enough to speak.

“Morganna Evernight. She’s from Egypt. A Pureblood,” Sirius said as he pulled back, grabbing a flannel to wipe his face.

“When are you supposed to be getting married?”

“Three days after I go home for the holidays.”

“And if you get married you won’t be able to be with me?”

“No, I won’t. If I married Morganna, I could never be with you again, it’s in the magic that seals the marriage. I’d have to give you up,” Sirius said, fresh tears falling down his face. “That’s not the worst of it.”

“There’s more?” Remus asked incredulously.

Sirius nodded. “I’m due to be marked by Voldemort.”

“What? When?” Remus gasped, running his hand over the pale mark-free skin of Sirius’ left forearm.

“Either this summer or next, I’m not sure. I told you my parents want me to be a Death Eater. Now they’ve decided it should happen soon. I can’t think of a way to talk my way out of it.”

Remus stood there, up to his neck in warm frothy water, and tried to think of a way to keep his mate. He couldn’t let this happen, he just couldn’t.

“Remus, I don’t want you to give me a blow job. I just want you to make this all go away. Please, Remus. Please, just find a way for this not to happen, find a way for me to stay with you,” Sirius begged.

Remus pulled him into his arms, stroking his hair.

“I won’t give you up, I love you too much to do that. We’ll find a way to be together, I promise.”

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

The boys could hear everything, and it wasn’t pretty. They almost felt sorry for Severus. Almost. 

That afternoon Severus had called Lily a mudblood. He deserved every word she spat at him.

“Just stay away from me! I mean it, Severus, don’t you ever come near me again!” she snarled and then came storming back inside, slamming the portrait closed behind her.

She was in her dressing gown and fluffy pink slippers and she looked close to tears. Remus had to admit, when Severus had called him that horrible word, he had been more angry than upset, but none of them had ever imagined that Severus would use it against Lily.

Severus and Lily had caught the train together, been friends since primary school, spent so much time together. But no, when she had seen James stripping the boy, she had intervened, as usual. Only, Severus’ reaction had not been the usual. When Lily had intervened before, Severus had always thanked her, and then the two of them would spend a few hours alone together, talking and joking around. But not this time.

This time, Severus had turned on Lily, and hammered the final nail in the coffin of their friendship.

Lily stared at all of them, her green eyes blazing. “Whatever you’re about to say, just don’t,” she warned.

Remus thought it was a very stupid thing to do, but James walked towards her. As he came within reaching distance of her, Lily struck out, slapping and punching every inch of him she could get hold of, screaming that it was all his fault. She screamed that if he had just left Severus alone, she wouldn’t have lost her best friend.

“He’s nuts,” Peter whispered.

“No, he’s not,” Sirius replied. “He knows exactly what he’s doing.”

James flinched at each impact of her fists but didn’t say a word. He simply moved closer and closer, bringing up his arms to wrap around her. She dissolved into them, sobbing for all she was worth, her hitting mutating into clutching at his shirt. He sank to the floor with her, holding her as she cried.

“Why would he call me that?” she sobbed.

“Because he’s a Slytherin. All they care about is blood purity. He’s scum, and he was never good enough to even breathe the same air as you, let alone be your friend,” James said honestly.

“But…but…”

“Lily, listen to me. I know me and you don’t always get on, sometimes we downright hate each other. But no matter what, I will never call you what he did, I’ve never thought of you that way. None of us have,” he interrupted.

She didn’t talk after that, she didn’t have to. She let herself fall apart, and James was the one to put her back together again.

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Canis walked into the garden to find his eldest son sitting in the oak tree.

“I didn’t know you climbed trees,” he said as he hoisted himself up, settling himself in the cradle of three branches. “Are you all right?”

“It’s the night before my wedding to a woman I’ve only just met at dinner. I’m just peachy,” Sirius said, lighting up a cigarette.

“You know I don’t like you smoking.”

“Well, I’m meant to be marrying a woman I don’t know, I think I’m entitled to a bad habit or two,” Sirius said, making his father smile.

“In that case, can I have one?”

Sirius stared at his father. “I didn’t know you smoked,” he said, holding out his pack.

“Your mother thinks I quit just before you were born,” Canis said, lighting up. “She doesn’t know I smoke at every meeting.”

Translation: meeting with Voldemort. 

“Father, what if I wasn’t sure about this wedding?”

Canis smiled. “Sirius, I wasn’t sure about my wedding. But I grit my teeth and went through with it. Me and your mother have grown to be…very…ummm…fond of each other. Look at us. We have two wonderful sons, a beautiful house, a successful business. You will find your way. The first step is marrying Morganna tomorrow.”

Sirius sighed. “Father, I don’t want to marry her. And I don’t want to be marked either,” he said and then braced himself for his father hitting him.

Instead, his father rubbed his shoulder. “Sometimes, you have to do things you don’t want to,” Canis said. “This is one of those things. Tomorrow, you will stand up there and say your vows. And I will be so proud of you. Now, I’m going to bed. Don’t stay up too late, you have to look good up there tomorrow. Try and get some rest.”

Canis rubbed his shoulder once more before he climbed down and disappeared inside.

Sirius sighed, lighting a new cigarette with the old one. He had tried telling his father, but, as always, his father didn’t want to hear it. Sirius couldn’t go through with it, he just couldn’t. He couldn’t give up Remus.

Sirius leapt down from the tree and made his way through the house, checking to see who was still awake. He had just convinced himself that everyone was sleeping when he walked into his bedroom. There, sitting on his bed, was his Uncle Alphard. His fathers brother was sitting on his bed, looking around amusedly at all the Gryffindor posters and banners covering the walls.

“Uncle Alphard. Can I help you with something?” Sirius said cautiously.

“Yes. Close the door,” Alphard said. Sirius closed the door and Alphard silenced the room. “I know you don’t want to marry Morganna tomorrow, and I know you don’t want to be marked. So, I’m going to do the best thing in the world for you.”

“What’s that?”

“Tell you to leave.”

“What?” Sirius breathed after a moment of shocked silence.

Alphard came forwards a pressed a tiny gold key into his hand. “This is a key to a Gringotts vault, number seven hundred and eleven. It’s in your name, and I’ve put some money into it for you. Sirius, you’re not made to be a Death Eater, and if you marry that girl tomorrow you will hate yourself or the rest of your life. So, here’s what you do. Pack your things, get on that bike of yours, and hightail it out of here. If Canis disowns you, you have the money in this vault to get by.”

Sirius couldn’t believe it. “Why are you helping me?” he asked suspiciously.

“Dumbledore. He talked to me, told me about your young man. Sirius, this is your chance. Don’t ask questions, just go.”

Sirius pulled the man into a hug. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me, just disappear,” Alphard said before he slipped from the room.

Sirius managed to pack his whole life into his school trunk in less than five minutes. As he was putting the last of his clothes into his trunk, Regulus slipped into the room.

“What are you doing?” Regulus asked. “Where are you going?”

“Reg, I can’t stay here, I can’t marry her.”

“Father will kill you!”

“I know that, but it’s better than going through with this. Reg,” he said, taking his brother by the shoulders. “You told me on the train that if there was ever anything I ever needed I could come to you. Well, I need you to forget you ever saw this.”

“Sirius…”

“Please, Reg?”

“I don’t know…father will be so mad.”

“Regulus, think about this. With me gone, you’ll be number one son. You won’t just have mother’s affections, you’ll have father’s too. You will be the golden child, the one who never gets it wrong.”

“You’re turning your back on your responsibilities!” Regulus argued. He shoved Sirius’ hands off and moved to the door. “I’m going to tell father.”

Sirius didn’t know what else to do. He had to stop Regulus somehow. And then it hit him. All he had to do was dangle something Regulus really wanted. Sirius may not have been a Slytherin, but he had a whole family of them to learn from over the years.

“I’ll help you get my title,” Sirius hissed.

Regulus turned around slowly. “Go on.”

“When we go back to Hogwarts, I will teach you everything I know about becoming the Hogwarts Stud. I’ll ensure you get that title, if you just let me go,” Sirius promised, holding his breath as Regulus considered it.

“You swear you’ll get me that title?” Regulus checked.

“Reg, come on. I’m with Remus. I haven’t dated anyone but Remus since Halloween. The title is on the market, and with my help you are guaranteed to get it.”

“What if you and Remus break up? You’ll want the title back, won’t you?”

Sirius laughed. “Reg, I love him. I am in love with Remus. I’m doing this so I can be with him. I want to spend the rest of my life with Remus. The title is yours if you just help me now.”

Another moment of tense deliberation before Regulus nodded. “Fine,” Regulus said. “I’ll help you.”

Sirius breathed a sigh of relief and shoved the last of his clothes in his trunk before he closed the lid and locked it. He shrunk the trunk; living in a house with so many enchantments allowed him to perform magic without being detected. Regulus helped him sneak down to the basement garage and stow the trunk in the compartment under the seat before the two brothers wheeled the bike up the exit ramp.

“Wait until you’re a few streets away before you start the engine or you’ll wake everyone,” Regulus said. 

“Thank you, Reg.”

For the first time in their lives, the two brothers shared a brief hug, before Regulus snuck back inside and Sirius was left alone. He cast one last look at Number Twelve Grimmauld Place before he began to wheel the bike away.

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Sirius looked up from his sandwich to find his irate father standing in the kitchen doorway. 

It had taken Sirius most of the night to fly to James’ house, and most of the morning to explain what had happened. James’ mother had then sat him down, plied him with a sandwich and set about fixing up the spare room for him.

Sirius felt he should have known that James’ house was the first place his father would look for him.

“Sirius, I would like a word with you,” Canis said, and the boy could see his father’s temper bubbling away just underneath the surface. But there was something else in his father’s eyes, something Sirius had never seen before, something he didn’t have a name for.

Sirius nodded and followed Canis out into the garden. Once they were out of earshot, Canis faced his son.

“Do you have any idea what you’ve done?” Canis hissed. “At this very moment, you have one distraught bride crying her eyes out, eight hundred guests milling around our garden, and two very pissed off parents. What the hell were you thinking?”

“I tried to tell you last night,” Sirius said. “I don’t want to marry her. I can’t, father, please understand that.”

“Sirius Orion Black, you are the heir. You must accept your responsibilities. It is time for you to grow up and be a man. You’re coming home. You’re going to put on those robes, stand up at that alter and get married,” Canis said, walking back to the house.

“No!” Sirius yelled.

Canis stopped in his tracks and Sirius braced himself. He couldn’t remember the last time someone had refused his father anything, and this was a big something to refuse. The Black patriarch slowly turned around and peered at his son.

“Sirius, what is this really about? Do you feel that Morganna isn’t good enough a wife for you?”

“It’s not that-”

“Well, would you rather I found you a male spouse? Is that it? Are you gay?”

“Yes, I am, but that’s not the poi-”

“A male spouse can be arranged for you. Morganna has a brother. It would be no trouble to arrange for you to marry him instead.”

“Will you just stop and listen?” Sirius cried, exasperated.

Canis stopped talking, crossed his arms across his chest and smiled. “All right, son, I’m listening. Come on, my little dog, tell your old man what’s going on here.”

Sirius took a deep breath. Oh well, this was it.

“Father, I will not be getting married to Morganna, or her brother, or any other spouse you pick out for me. Father, I met someone. I love him.”

Canis nodded for a moment before he spoke. “This someone you’ve met, the one you love…is he Pureblood? Suitable as your husband?”

“His name is Remus Lupin.”

Canis’ jaw dropped. He moved to stand very close to his son. “Sirius, not only is that boy a mudblood, he’s a werewolf too. Think of the shame you’ll be bringing on the family. You cannot marry that animal!”

Sirius couldn’t help it, he saw red. Hearing someone refer to his sweet Remus as an animal made his temper flare. He punched his father square on the jaw. Canis’ head snapped to the side and he stared wide eyed at his son. His lip was bleeding.

“Don’t you dare speak about him like that! Just because Greyback’s a monster, don’t tarnish Remus with his brush. Remus is sweet and kind and loyal. He is more a man than you’ll ever be!” Sirius snarled. “Look at you! You’re such a sheep! Following Voldemort, doing everything he says like a lost little lamb, it’s pathetic!”

Canis stood open mouthed for a moment before he spoke. “You think this Remus is good enough for you? You think he’ll be there forever? Let me tell you something, boy. This thing you think you love will abandon you for natures call, all his kind do. And all this nonsense about Muggles. Voldemort is coming to power, and you’re either with him or against him. Now, I will not tell anyone about Remus’ condition, I wouldn’t bring that kind of shame to the family. But I tell you now, boy, either you come home right now or don’t even think of coming back.”

“I’m not coming back.”

“Sirius, you will have no financial help from us anymore. You’ll be on your own,” Canis warned.

“Fine,” Sirius spat. “I’ll have Remus, I’ll get by. I don’t need anything but him. I’d rather have no family than be in that house. I’d rather be penniless than be a coward like you.”

It was, evidently, the wrong thing to say. Canis began punching Sirius, the young wizard falling to his knees and then curling up in a ball as the blows rained down on him. His father was screaming how worthless he was, how pathetic, how much of a disappointment he was. Sirius covered his head with his hands and kicked out against his father’s shins, trying to defend himself.

Just as Sirius was sure he was going to pass out, his father was pulled away by James’ father, the Potter patriarch murmuring to Canis about how undignified it was. Canis cast one last disgusted look at his son before he straightened his robes.

“I’ll keep my mouth shut about this mudblood boy, but this is it, Sirius. No more money from us. Don’t ever show your face in my house again. You are no son of mine.”

Canis stalked away and James helped Sirius to his feet. “You can’t stay here,” James said. “He’ll come back, you know he will. You can’t stay here, Pads. Go to Remus. Remus lives in the Muggle World, your father will never go there to find you. Dad refuelled the bike. Get on it and go.”

“My stuff-”

“Still in your trunk in the bike, mum hadn’t got around to resizing it for you. Go, Sirius. Send me an owl when you’re sorted.”

Sirius squeezed his shoulder and nodded at Mr and Mrs Potter before he limped through the house, jumping on the bike and hightailing it out of there as fast as the machine would carry him.

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Remus couldn’t sleep.

Sirius was probably married by now, and Remus could kiss his mate goodbye. Remus couldn’t help it, he kept picturing Sirius with some faceless woman. Every time he closed his eyes all he could see was his beautiful Sirius with someone else.

He threw back the blankets and left his bed, padding downstairs to make some tea. If he couldn’t sleep, he might as well do something. He had just poured hot water into the mug when there was a roar of a motorbike and then a frantic knocking on the front door.

Remus heard his parents sitting up in bed as he moved to open it.

“Sirius!”

Remus threw back the door and pulled Sirius inside, waiting until the door was closed before he started to examine the bloodied face.

“Oh God, what happened? Sirius, sweetheart, look at you!” Remus said. 

Sirius pushed his hand away and wrapped his arms around Remus’ neck, burying his face.

“I couldn’t do it, Remus,” he sobbed. “I couldn’t marry her. It was the only way, and my father, oh Merlin, my father was so angry. Uncle Alphard gave me some money and Regulus took my title to stay silent and I went to James’, but my father found me and we had a row, and I said things, and I hit him, and he beat me, and James told me to come here.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down,” Remus said, rubbing the slim back. “Let me get you cleaned up and then you can tell me what happened in more than one breath.”

Anne and John appeared at the bottom of the stairs just as Remus pulled Sirius away. 

“What the hell happened?” Anne said, hurrying forwards to look at Sirius. “Who did this?”

“His father,” Remus said. “Help me clean him up before he explains properly. He’s not making a lot of sense.”

John ran up to the bathroom and grabbed all the healing lotions and potions he could find while Anne filled a bowl with warm water. Remus sat Sirius down and made him hold still while he sponged away the blood. Anne healed Sirius’ broken nose, and ribs, but proclaimed the bruising would have to stay.

“We have to be able to explain this to the guys. With the noise of that bike, someone will have seen you arrive all bloodied. We have to be able to explain this, so the bruising has to stay,” she said as there was a knock at the door. “Told you so. Can’t hide much in this street. John, whoever it is, get rid of them.”

John opened the door a crack. “Jim, this is a really bad time.”

“I know that, lad, it’s two in the morning. Joe called me. He wanted to know what young Sirius’ bike was doing here. We all heard it tear through the street, and we saw the lights on,” Jim said.

John sighed and opened the door, revealing the battered teen. “Sirius is in a spot of trouble. We’ll take care of him. We’ll come by tomorrow, clear it all up.”

Jim nodded. “Of course, of course. If you need any help, give us a shout,” he said before he stepped away. 

John closed the door and made cups of tea while Remus had Sirius recount the whole tale, slowly this time. At the end of it, Remus wanted to tear Canis to shreds and Anne refused to let Sirius leave the house anytime soon.

“I just couldn’t do it,” Sirius said, holding an ice pack to his cheekbone. “I’d have to give Remus up, and I can’t do that, I just can’t.”

“We understand, dear,” Anne said, handing him a pain potion. “For your ribs. Come on, drink it down, that’s a lad.”

Sirius chucked it down and fixed his eyes on Remus. “I couldn’t do it. I love you, Remus,” he said.

“I know you do. You just gave up everything for me, I know how much you love me, Sirius,” Remus said with a smile. “Now, I’m going to make you a sandwich, and mum is going to transfigure you a bed. You’re going to take a sleeping draught for tonight, just so you can get some rest. And then, in the morning, we’ll sort everything out.”

Sirius nodded and John retrieved his trunk before disappearing to put his bike in the garage for safekeeping. Anne went upstairs to sort Sirius a bed.

“You love me, don’t you?” Sirius whispered as Remus fixed his sandwich. “Because if you don’t then I really have nothing left.”

Remus brought the sandwich to the table and gently slid into Sirius’ lap. “Am I hurting you?”

“No. The pain potion has kicked in.”

“Good. Listen to me and listen good. Sirius Orion Black, I love you. I want to be with you forever. We’ll make this work, we’ll figure it out. So, just this once, will you let me take care of you for a change?”

Sirius laughed and then clutched his ribs. “Laughing hurts,” he gasped, and then moaned as Remus kissed him gently, mindful of his split lip.

Remus pulled away and kissed him on the forehead before regaining his own seat as his mother returned.

Sirius munched down his sandwich and then carefully changed into his pyjamas. Remus came in just as he slipped into bed.

Remus sat down carefully on the edge of the bed and brushed the raven tresses away from Sirius’ face. “It’ll all be okay, you’ll see. Mum already sent the letter to Dumbledore, he’ll probably arrive in the morning to sort it all out. You know you’re welcome here, right? That if you want to stay here you can?”

“I don’t want to impose on your parents,” Sirius whispered. 

“You’re not imposing. This is your home, if you want it to be.”

Sirius smiled and reached up to stroke Remus cheek. “You really are my sweet wolf, you know that?”

Remus smiled and leaned in, kissing his bruised eyes and nose, his split lip, and then pulling the blankets down and the pyjama top up so he could kiss his ribs.

“What are you doing?” Sirius said.

“Kissing it better,” Remus said, returning to his gentle kissing. “Is it helping?”

Sirius pulled him away to look him in the eye. “You know, I think it did.”

“Good,” Remus said as he tucked Sirius in. 

There was a gentle knock at the door and Anne entered carrying a glass. “I’ve sent the letter to Dumbledore, telling him what happened, that you’re here. I want you to take this. It’s Dreamless Sleep. Just for tonight, I want you to get some rest, forget about everything.”

Sirius sighed. “Did I really call my father a coward?”

“Apparently, if those shiners are anything to go by,” Anne said. “I’m sure you can still grovel if you really want to go back.”

“No, I don’t want that,” Sirius said firmly. “I don’t want to go back. I’m just trying to get it to sink in. I can’t quite make myself believe I actually did it.”

“Believe it, wonder boy, you did it,” Remus said. “It’s just shock, it’ll wear off and then it’ll sink in.”

Sirius smiled. “Okay, Mrs Lupin, hit me with your potion. I’m more than ready to sink into blissful oblivion.”

“Call me Anne, dear,” she said as she handed him the glass. “You’re living here now, you and I are past formalities.”

Sirius nodded and gulped down the potion. Anne took the glass and Sirius grabbed Remus hand as he began to drift off.

“I love you, Remus,” he mumbled. “Love you more than anything. You’re my everything.”

Sirius fell asleep before he heard Remus tell him how much he loved him.

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Anne poked her head around the door to find Remus sitting on Sirius’ bed, stroking his hair.

“Remus,” she called softly. 

“Yes, mum?” Remus said without taking his eyes off his slumbering boyfriend.

“It’s time to get up, darling. Breakfast in ten minutes.”

“Okay, mum,” Remus said, standing up and grabbing a set of clean clothes before making his way to the bathroom. Ten minutes later he made his way downstairs, just in time for a knock at the door.

John opened it to reveal Professor Dumbledore, Andromeda Tonks, and Fabian and Gideon Prewett. The twins grinned at Remus, both looking thoroughly impressed.

“Bloody hell, Remus. When Dumbledore told us what you really are, we were shocked,” Fabian said.

“Yeah. I mean, all that time, and we never suspected a thing. We underestimated your ability to lie,” Gideon finished.

Remus stared, open mouthed at them, before peering at Dumbledore. “You told them?” he whispered.

“I did. I saw no reason for the boys not to know. I assure you, they will keep your secret,” Dumbledore assured and Remus stared at the twins for a moment before he nodded. He trusted them, and he would have told them years ago if he could have.

Andromeda came forwards and hugged Remus. “Look at you, all grown up. You and Sirius, shooting up like weeds. My goodness, Anne, what are you feeding him?” she said with a smile.

“Oh, the usual. Miracle Grow,” Anne replied as she set a stack of toast on the table. “Come and eat something. Remus, is Sirius awake yet?”

“No, not yet,” Remus said as he took a seat. “What are you all doing here?”

“Albus called us,” Andromeda said as she accepted a cup of tea. “He felt Sirius needed some shoulders to cry on. How is he?”

“Battered.”

“So, Canis was pretty mad at him, huh?” Fabian said, or at least, Remus thought it was Fabian. There were no badges now, so he couldn’t tell them apart.

“Could the two of you tell me which is which before we go any further?”

The twins smiled and Fabian conjured a badge with a lion on it, pinning it to his chest. “Fabian has the badge,” Gideon said. 

“Thank you. Yes, Canis was very mad at him. Like a broken nose, two black eyes, a split lip and cracked ribs mad, not to mention the bruises all over the damn place,” Remus said. “He’s pretty shaken. Canis practically disowned him.”

Andromeda shook her head. “No way, Canis would never do that. Too public. If he disowns Sirius, it would be front page news. Canis wouldn’t do that, it would bring so much shame on the family. At least one good thing came from the family disowning me. Can’t have two of us disowned, what would society say?” she said. “He won’t tell anyone what you are either. Once again, the shame of admitting his son is dating a werewolf.”

“Gotta say this for Canis,” Gideon said between mouthfuls of scrambled eggs. “He has his pride. At least Sirius has that working for him.”

“What about money? Would he really cut Sirius off?” Remus asked.

“Damn straight he would.”

They turned around to see Sirius standing at the bottom of the stairs.

“How did you do that? I didn’t even hear you come down,” Remus said.

Sirius shrugged. “I was really really quiet,” he joked. “What are you all doing here?”

“We came to lend support,” Fabian said.

“Yes, we thought you could use the wealth of my expertise on being a terrible heir,” Andromeda said, and then winced as Sirius moved into the light. “Merlin, look at you. You’re practically a work of art.”

Sirius laughed and then clutched his ribs.

“Laughing still hurts?” Remus asked.

“Like a bitch,” Sirius said. He suddenly realised who he was standing in front of. “Sorry.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it. You just gave up your life, say anything you like,” John said.

Remus carefully hugged his boyfriend before leading him to the table and sitting him down. “Didn’t I tell you we’d figure it all out this morning?”

Sirius smiled. “That you did,” Sirius agreed as he accepted some toast and a cup of tea. “So, how am I going to live? How am I going to pay for school? Where am I going to live?”

“Slow down, one at a time,” Gideon said.

“To begin with, you need not worry about school,” Albus said.

“But my tuition. I can’t pay for my last two years without my family’s money.”

“Me and Ted can cover it,” Andromeda offered and Albus smiled.

“No one needs to cover it,” said the old wizard. “Your tuition is already paid. Canis paid the full seven years tuition up front. You are covered in that respect. All you need do is finance your books, equipment and uniform. That, and achieve good marks to gain employment after graduation, of course.”

“Well, Uncle Alphard said he put some money in a vault for me, but I don’t know how much it is,” Sirius said. 

“Okay, so we need to find out how much that is,” Andromeda said. “You know you can count on us to help you out, where we can.”

“Thanks, Andie, but I can’t do that,” Sirius argued. “I can’t impose on you.”

“Will you stop thinking of yourself as a burden? We are not your parents, we actually give a damn about you,” Remus said. “Like I said last night, you’re welcome here, and Andie wants to help. So stop arguing and say thank you.”

Sirius smiled guiltily. “All right, thank you.”

“Right, now that the money issue is settled, what about where you’re going to live?” Gideon said. “You can stay with me and Fab. We’re living with Molly. It might be a tight squeeze. She’s got Charlie, Bill and Percy, and now she’s expecting twins, but I’m sure we could find you room.”

“Or you could stay with me and Ted,” Andromeda said. “As long as you don’t mind being woken early by a little one.”

“Or, you could just stay here,” Anne said. “It’s no trouble.”

“Are you sure?” Sirius asked. “I mean, I want to stay here with Remus, if I can.”

Remus reached over and entwined their fingers, running his thumb over the back of Sirius hand. “I’d love for you to stay here. Come on, I’m the reason you did this. The least I can give you is a roof over your head.” Sirius smiled into the sweet kiss Remus gave him. “You’ll stay here, if that’s what you want.”

“It is,” Sirius said. He turned to his cousins. “I love Remus. I won’t give him up, I can’t. If it’s okay with his parents, I want to stay here with him. It’s really nice of you to offer to put me up, but I think I’m set. That is, if Anne and John don’t mind?”

“Of course we don’t,” John said. “You’ll have to pull your weight, mind. You’re doing Muggle Studies, you can help out in the garage. And you’ll do your share of the chores. If you’re living here, you’re a member of the family, and every member contributes. I won’t have you lounging around all day, young man.”

“Of course not, I wouldn’t dream of it,” Sirius said. “Are you serious? I could really help out in your garage? You’d teach me to fix cars?”

“Bet your life on it,” John said. “You can’t be any worse than Remus. Can’t fix a car to save his life.”

Sirius grinned. “There’s something you can’t do,” he said smugly to his boyfriend. “I’ve found something you can’t do.”

“I can’t take a stroll under the full moon,” Remus said. “And I can’t fly a broomstick too well. And I can’t fix cars. I’ve ruined more car parts than I’ve fixed. Maybe with you here, Uncle Joe will stop trying to teach me.”

“That’s all settled then. Young Mr Black will live here, his tuition is paid up, and anything he cannot afford with the money his uncle has given him, Mrs Tonks and Mr’s Prewett will cover,” Dumbledore said. “Is there anything else I’ve missed?”

“Yes,” Anne said. “Sirius, I expect good marks out of you. Your schoolwork better be up to standard or you can forget about those cars, young man. If you don’t get good marks, you’ll be spending this summer buried in text books.”

Sirius was stunned. No one had really given a damn about his grades before. Andromeda had made a token effort to show support, but it had never been like this. Anne was talking like it really mattered to her what his schoolwork was like.

“Yes, mum gives a damn,” Remus said at Sirius’ dumbfounded look. “Now you’re living here, you’re under the same scrutiny as I am. I’m expected to get the grades, so are you. Now, close your mouth, you’re catching flies.”

The whole table dissolved into peels of laughter and they all sat around talking and joking. As Andromeda, Fabian, Gideon and Dumbledore left, Sirius realised that he felt lighter than he had ever felt in his life.

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Sirius was having a brilliant time. He couldn’t remember having more fun.

Remus and Sirius were walking down Diagon Alley, purchasing their things for school. They had first visited Gringotts, where Sirius discovered that Alphard had given him enough to see him through the next few years, until he had established a career. Their O.W.L. results had come through with their booklists, and both of them had achieved Outstanding’s across the board.

“I swear, if I end up with a hickey, I will never let you earn forgiveness,” Remus said as Sirius pinned him to a wall and attacked his neck.

“Ah, but you say nothing about several hickeys,” Sirius said between kisses.

Remus laughed, and then moaned, threading his fingers through the blue-black hair. “You found that spot again. Oh God, right there.”

Sirius took great delight in reducing Remus to a pile of mush. Remus’ parents had gone off to have an ice cream, leaving the boys to amuse themselves. 

“We’re meant to be buying ourselves something nice as a treat for our good marks,” Remus protested half-heartedly.

“This is something nice. And look, it isn’t costing a single knut,” Sirius argued, nibbling his throat. 

Eventually, Sirius relented, and they walked off towards the shops. Anne had given them five galleons each to buy whatever they liked. She had reasoned that they would reward themselves better than she could. Sirius treated himself to his very own owl, a tiny little brown one that could barely peak over his fist and was highly excitable. The owl looked like a feathered snitch, and Sirius adored him. Plus, he only cost Sirius two galleons, as he was so very tiny. Remus doubted the minuscule ball of feathers could carry a letter, but Sirius’ smile was enough to satisfy him. Remus treated himself to a lunascope, which predicted the phases of the moon and would save him the trouble of calculating the next full moon. It glowed three days before the first day of Remus’ monthly change, and would save unnecessary confusion. Once they had purchased their treats, they went off to find Remus’ parents.

“What are you going to call him?” John asked, peering at the happily hooting owl in his tiny cage.

“Don’t know yet. Remus, why is your owl called MJ?”

“Merlin Junior,” Remus said simply, pushing owl treats through the bars of the cage. “Mum’s owl was called Merlin. When mum got me MJ, I couldn’t think of any better name for him.”

The two boys were just tucking in to their ice creams when a voice made Sirius freeze.

“Hello, son.”

Sirius looked up into the blue eyes of his father and reached out to grab Remus’ hand under the table. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Anne take hold of her wand.

“Father. Is there something I can help you with?” Sirius said.

“Yes, I…well, I wanted to…ummm…I thought we could have a talk,” Canis said, stumbling over his words.

“Does it involve your fists, arranged marriages, the Dark Mark, Voldemort, or coming home?”

Canis smiled. “No.” He held out his hand to Anne. “Very nice to meet you, I’m Canis Black, Sirius’ father.”

Anne didn’t even pause as she took it. “Hello, Mr Black, I’m Anne Lupin, Remus’ mother. This is my husband, John, and this is our Remus,” she said, pointing to each of them. To give the Muggle hating Pureblood credit, Canis reached out and shook John’s hand, and then Remus’. “Would you like to join us?”

“My apologies, but I have to be getting on, lots to buy for Regulus, Sirius’ brother,” Canis said. “I was hoping for a quick word with my son…in private?”

Sirius sighed and made to stand up, but Remus tightened his grip. “It’s okay, honey, really. I’ll only be over there. Anything goes wrong, you can come to my rescue,” Sirius soothed, and he kissed Remus once he gave a reluctant nod.

Canis and Sirius stood in the shadow of an alleyway and Sirius ensured they could be seen clearly by Remus. It wouldn’t do for his boyfriend to come hunting his father because he lost sight of him.

“What do you want to talk about?” Sirius said.

“I wanted to say…I’m sorry,” Canis said. “I overreacted. I shouldn’t have lost my temper.”

“Whatever, it’s not the first time. It’s fine, really. Anne healed the broken nose and cracked ribs. We had to leave the bruising, Remus’ muggle uncles saw me arrive, we had to leave it.”

Canis nodded. He appeared to be having trouble finding the right words. “Listen, what I said about money, I didn’t mean it. Of course I’m not going to cut you off. And as for this marriage and your marking, maybe we did rush things a little. After all, you are still in school. So, how about this? We forget all this nonsense until you graduate, and then we sit down and talk about it again, when you’ve finished school? How about that?”

“I won’t change my mind,” Sirius said. “I love Remus, that’s not going to change.”

“I know you think that-”

“Stop,” Sirius interrupted. “I don’t want to get into this again, not with everyone watching.”

“Of course, of course. Is there anything you need? Money?”

“No, I’m fine, I have everything I need. Anne and John are taking good care of me. John owns a garage, he’s letting me help out fixing the cars.”

“That’s…nice.”

“Yeah, it’s a reward for my good marks.”

“Good marks? So you got your O.W.L. results then?”

“Yes. Twelve Outstanding’s. As a reward from John, I get to help fix cars, and Anne got me an owl.”

Canis nodded. “And…ummm…how did Remus do?”

Sirius suppressed his smile. His father really was trying to make the effort. 

“Twelve Outstanding’s. He got a lunascope and freedom from fixing cars. He’s terrible at it, keeps ruining car parts. His Uncle Joe is overjoyed Remus won’t be blowing up any more carburettors. That’s a part of an internal combustion engine. It’s a device in an internal combustion engine that mixes liquid fuel and air in the correct proportions, vaporizes them, and transfers the mixture to the cylinders.”

“I’m impressed,” Canis said, laughing. “How do you remember all that?”

“I’m very dedicated to my lessons,” Sirius said, blushing. “It helps with my Muggle Studies.”

Canis nodded and reached out to touch Sirius’ shoulder. Sirius flinched backwards, his back hitting the cold stone of the wall behind him. Canis pulled his hand back. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“It’s fine, forget it. Listen, I should be getting back. Me and Remus still need to get our books, and then we need to get back. We’re going to Uncle Jim’s for dinner.”

“Uncle Jim?”

“Remus’ Uncle Jim. He’s cooking dinner to celebrate our good results,” Sirius explained and then rubbed the back of his neck. “Remus’ family is really proud of us. What with his condition, they all thought he’d be dead by now. None of them thought he was going to live to take exams, and since I’m living with them now, they expect me to get good marks too.”

“I understand. Well, you should get back then.”

“Father, about Remus’ condition. Did you mean it when you said you wouldn’t tell anyone?”

“I meant it. I will allow this fooling around, for now. And I will not be telling anyone of his…condition. It would not be accepted by society. This will remain a secret.”

“Good. Thank you. Well, then, I should get going.”

Canis nodded and walked him back to the table, where Regulus was standing awkwardly beside Anne. Sirius retook his seat, and gripped Remus’ hand once more as his father began to talk with Remus’ parents.

“Is there anything you need for the boy? Money perhaps? I know how expensive teenage boys can be,” Canis offered.

“No, no, it’s all right, money is no problem. Actually, we rather enjoy having Sirius around,” John said. “He’s quite the help around the house and in the garage. He’s no trouble, really.”

“That’s good to hear. Well, I should be getting on. Good day,” Canis said and waved before he began to walk away. He paused and turned his attentions on Sirius again. “If you ever want to come home, the door is open.”

And with that, he swept away, Regulus trailing after him.

“Are you okay, sweetheart?” Remus asked, stroking Sirius’ cheek.

“I’m fine. In fact, it’s all good news. No more talk of arranged marriages or Dark Marks until after I graduate, he hasn’t cut me off so I still have the family money, and he’s not going to tell anyone about you.”

“Well, that’s very good news,” John said. “Now you won’t have to worry about how you’re going to pay for things, and we can rest easy knowing Remus can finish his schooling.”

“And, you are all mine until graduation. Two whole years,” Remus said. “I’m sure we can think of something by then. Hey, look what Regulus slipped me when your father wasn’t looking.”

“The tongue? Because if her did, I’ll have to rip his out,” Sirius joked, making Remus shove his shoulder and pass him a picture.

Sirius dissolved into side splitting laughter. It was a picture of his mother, blasting his name off of the family tree. The tapestry had been in his family since the Middle Ages. If he ever went home, which he didn’t plan on doing, it could be repaired, his name put back on it. But, at this point, Sirius considered it the highest honour to be removed from it.

“You know, I think I really love my mother.” 

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

“You threw it up?”

It was the first week of their sixth year and Remus and Sirius were sitting down by the lake with Severus, discussing the last dose of Wolfsbane Remus had taken. Both Sirius and Severus had agreed to be on their best behaviour. Sirius wouldn’t have come, but he refused to leave Remus alone with Severus, convinced that Severus was going to try and poison him.

It had been a very nice summer, really. Lily, James and Peter had come to stay for the last two weeks and the five of them had spent most of their time in the garage, Joe loving having three teenage boys all wanting to fix something. Lily and Remus had sat on the sidelines, watching amusedly as the three Purebloods got oil over their clothes and caught their fingers on car parts.

“Yes, I threw it up,” Remus confirmed.

“When did you ingest it?” Severus asked, thumbing through his notes.

“At lunch,” Remus said.

“He took it between his stew and his apple pie,” Sirius supplied. “Washed it down with pumpkin juice.”

Severus nodded and read over the instructions he had used to make the last dose, making notes. “Might have been the foxglove, maybe I put too much in. Or maybe the daisy?” Severus muttered.

“Can I ask you something?” Sirius said.

“You just did, but, by all means, ask away,” Severus said, not taking his eyes off the page.

“How does this potion allow you to become a Potions Master anyway?”

Severus looked up. “To become a Potions Master, I must demonstrate the intelligence to create a potion of my own, one previously undiscovered.”

“That’s it?”

“No, there is more. I must achieve Outstanding Potions, Herbology, Transfiguration, Charms, History of Magic and Defence Against The Dark Arts N.E.W.T.’s, demonstrate the ability to create thirty potions unassisted from scratch, and demonstrate the creation of my signature potion. In addition, I must submit written application for the position, and a fourty foot parchment essay on the uses, importance and requirements of potions.”

Sirius stared open mouthed. “Why the hell are you bothering?”

“Because it’s what I want to do,” Severus said simply. “Isn’t there something you want to do?”

Sirius didn’t have an answer. He hadn’t given much thought to a career past making money to support himself. Was there anything he wanted that badly? Well, yes, there had been the desire not to get married to Morganna Evernight, to be with Remus, but he had that already, didn’t he? As for his career, no, there wasn’t something he wanted as badly as Severus wanted this.

“Not career wise,” Sirius said. 

“Isn’t there something you want more than anything else? Something you’d give up everything for?”

Remus smiled. “He already has.”

“So you understand what it feels like to need something more than anything,” Severus said triumphantly before turning back to Remus. “How long between taking the potion and throwing it up?”

“About two hours, maybe three,” Remus said.

“Did you come into contact with any unusual substances?”

“I don’t think so.”

“We had Herbology after lunch,” Sirius said. “You touched the Mandrakes, and the Devil’s Snare. Could those have caused this?”

“They might have,” Severus said. “Any other plants you came into contact with? What were you working with?”

“Snargaluff,” Remus said. “But I didn’t touch it. I was wearing gloves. I did brush by the Venomous Tentacula.”

Severus smiled. “I think that’s it. Dandelion and Tentacula create a nasty reaction. Never the less, I’m still going to recheck all the measurements. I think I’ve got all I need,” he said, packing up his things and standing. “I’ll bring you the next dose when it’s ready. Good day.”

And with that, he left. Sirius had just gotten comfortable, nibbling at Remus’ neck, when a call of his name had him groaning.

“What do you want, Reg?” Sirius asked, lighting up a cigarette.

“You promised,” Regulus said, sitting down. “You said you’d help me become the Stud.”

Sirius sighed. “You’re right, I did. Ah…right, give me a minute to think. I was busy, you know.”

Regulus looked at Remus’ neck, which was sporting a rather large hickey, and grinned. “I can see that,” he said.

“Shut it, you little maggot, or the deal’s off,” Sirius snapped as Remus blushed. Regulus fell silent and Sirius tried to think up what to tell him.

Sirius had never intended to be the Hogwarts Stud, it had just happened. He wasn’t quite sure what to tell him, but he had promised. If there was nothing else Sirius did, he always kept his promises.

“Right. Being the Hogwarts Stud is more about illusion than anything else,” Sirius said. Regulus was staring so intently at him that Sirius was convinced his eyes would pop out any moment. “It’s all about projecting to people that you’ve been shagged, or been shagging, whether you have or haven’t is irrelevant.”

“So, how many people have you shagged?” Regulus asked and Remus laughed.

“Come on! Not even I know that one, and there isn’t a lot I don’t know about Sirius,” Remus said. “It’s part of the reputation. See, people who have been shagged by the Stud want to brag about it, and those who haven’t don’t want to admit they haven’t been shagged by him, so no one but the Stud actually knows how many he’s shagged, and he never reveals it to anyone.”

“Is the Stud always a guy?”

“Always,” Sirius said. “Me and Remus looked it up. It goes back to when the school was founded. There is always a Stud and a Slut. The difference between the two is what the actual boy says. They are both always boys, and the Stud has always been a Gryffindor. The Slut…well, that’s between Slytherin and Ravenclaw, but Slytherin have usually had the Slut.”

“Like the way Zabini has become the Slut since Lucius left?”

“Exactly. Now that I’m with Remus, the title of Stud is there for the taking. The way it works now is that the former Stud, having settled down, then hand picks his replacement. In this case, that’s me and you,” Sirius said. “Being the Stud is all about image. So, stand up.”

Regulus looked sceptical for a moment, before he did as he was told. He was just turning on the spot when James, Peter and Lily joined them.

“You all finished discussing Potions assignments with Snivellus?” James asked as he sat down next to Sirius. “What have we walked in on?”

“Turning Reg into the next Stud, and yes, we’ve finished,” Remus said.

“Evans, what am I missing?” Sirius said. “Come on, you told me I looked hot more than any other girl. What do I have that Reg doesn’t?”

Lily hoisted herself back to her feet and circled Regulus. “Hold still,” she commanded, and then pulled off Regulus’ robes as he complied. She loosened his tie, unbuttoned the first few buttons of his shirt, pulled it out of his trousers and ruffled his hair. “I think that’s better, don’t you agree?”

Remus grinned. “Getting close. But it’s not just about the look,” he said as Regulus sat down. “I mean, you’re almost as tall as Sirius, but you’re skinny, Seekers build. You’ve got the just shagged hair right, and the laid back shirt thing, but it’s more than that.”

“Exactly,” James said. “The Stud has this aura about him, this kind of ‘I don’t care what you say, you’re lucky to have me’ kind of thing. And it’s all about rumour.”

“You’ve lost me,” Regulus said.

“Well, first off, the Stud’s reputation is built on rumour. When Sirius was Stud, rumours were flying left, right and centre about who he had and hadn’t shagged. Sirius neither denied nor confirmed any of them. He merely shrugged with this little smile thing, as if to say ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about’,” Peter said. “None of us could get him to tell us which of the rumours were true, so we found it best to believe most of them.”

“Okay, I think I’ve got that.”

“Then, there’s the image,” Lily said. “You’ve got to give off this air about you. It’s kind of…projecting that you’re the best shag in the school, and who cares what they think, they’re lucky to have you.”

“So, how do I do that?”

“You strut,” James said.

“I did not strut,” Sirius said.

“Yes, you did,” Remus said. “It was as if you were proud of something, but you were the only one in on what you were proud of.”

“I think I’ve got it,” Regulus said. “So, how do I proclaim myself the Stud?”

“You don’t,” Sirius said. “Evans does.”

“You what?”

“Answer me this, are you gay, straight or bi?”

“Straight.”

“So, you need a girl to start the rumours. For me, it was Melissa Edgecombe. I didn’t actually shag her, I was only eleven at the time, but she started the rumours. You need a girl to start the rumours. Leave it to Evans, she’ll get one of her friends to start it off. All you need to do is act the part until girls start throwing themselves at you, and then go with the flow. Just remember, you never confirm or deny any rumour, you never get stressed out in public, you never brag about who you may or may not have had, and whatever you do, don’t ever get wrapped up in one person. You do that and your crown is gone. Believe me, I speak from experience,” Sirius said, smiling at Remus.

“That’s it? That’s all there is to it?”

They all grinned at his incredulity. “Yup,” Sirius said. “That’s all there is to it. Now that I’ve given you what I promised, will you go away?”

Regulus nodded. He stood up and began walking away, but stopped and looked at them once more. “Oh, just so you know, I overheard father yelling about you and Remus. I heard him yelling about what Remus is,” Regulus said. “Thought you’d want to know.”

Sirius was on his feet in an instant, moving close to his brother and slinging an arm around his shoulders. “You can’t say anything, Reg,” he hissed. “Please, you have to keep it to yourself.”

“No fear,” Regulus said. “As if I want anyone worth knowing hearing about my brother and his wolfish lover. Please, grant me with a little taste, would you?”

Sirius laughed in spite of himself. “Good point. So, you’ll keep your mouth shut?”

“About what?” Regulus said with a wink. “Consider it a thank you for letting me have mother and father all to myself. See you around, brother.”

Regulus walked off and Sirius watched him go. He had always assumed his brother to be a brainless little twit, but now he was seeing a different side to him. And then it hit him. Regulus had planned this all along. Regulus had known Sirius would crack one day, he knew Sirius would do something truly heinous in their family’s eyes and be shoved out. Regulus had just bided his time until it happened. All the grief he had given Sirius over the years, it was just a smoke screen to cover up his true intentions.

“Sneaky little sod,” Sirius said as he sat down. “Relax, honey, he’ll keep his mouth shut. After all, he doesn’t want his precious little friends finding out his brother has brought the shame of a werewolf lover on the family.”

“Good to know,” Remus said, the colour slowly returning to his face. 

“So, does Snivellus know what went wrong with the potion?” James asked.

“He thinks it’s something I touched in Herbology reacting with one of the ingredients,” Remus said. “Either way, he’s gone off to recheck his numbers.”

“Are you sure he’s not going to poison you?” Peter said.

“Positive. Sirius promised to hunt him down if he does.”

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

“Hey Pads, you coming?”

Sirius looked up from his Quidditch magazine to see James standing over him, Peter by his side.

He didn’t need to ask what his best friend was referring to. The Christmas Hogsmeade trip. Professor Dumbledore laid it on every year for those students who stayed for the Christmas holidays. It was the students choice on whether or not to go. Sirius had gone almost every year since he had arrived at Hogwarts. There would be sleigh rides, and lunch in the Three Broomsticks. There was a snowman building competition, snowball fights, carolling, hot chocolate and mince pies. It was fun, but Sirius could think of something much more enjoyable to occupy the day.

“Nah, I’m gonna stay here with Moony,” Sirius said.

James sighed dramatically at him. “Abandoning your friends for your boyfriend. Why, Pads, I never thought you’d be that kind of guy. But, hey, if that’s how it is…”

Sirius growled and threw a cushion at him. It missed and hit Lily square in the face. She blinked in surprise before she fixed her bright green eyes on Sirius.

“And what did I do to deserve that, Black?” she asked, James sniggering.

“Nothing, Evans, honestly. I wasn’t aiming for you, I was aiming for Prongs.”

She smiled. “Oh. Then I fully appreciate the thrown cushion. What did the toe rag do to deserve missiles aimed at his head?”

“Hey!” James said in protest. “I didn’t do anything!”

“A likely story, Potter. Peter, what did he do?” she questioned the short, plump, blonde boy.

Peter cast a wary glance at his two friends before he answered. “It was nothing, really,” he mumbled.

“He was teasing me,” Sirius put in. Sometimes, Peter really was too timid for his own good. They could only hope he would grow out of it.

“I see,” the redheaded witch said and grabbed the boy wearing glasses by the ear. “What were you teasing him about?”

James grimaced and tried to free his ear, which only made her grip tighten. Sometimes, Sirius really loved Lily Evans. She was a wonderful girl.

“He was teasing me about staying behind with Moony,” Sirius said, earning a glare from the struggling Pureblood, which Sirius stuck his tongue out at.

“You git! You have such a big mouth, you tattle tale!” James said as Lily began to drag him to the door. “Get off me, Evans!”

“No. Shan’t.” She looked over her shoulder at Sirius. “Ignore him. Just because he’s single he wants to bring everyone along with him. You have fun with Remus. We’ll see you at the feast.”

Sirius smiled at her and watched as they disappeared out the portrait hole. And then Gryffindor Tower was blessedly empty. There were only a handful of students staying for Christmas this year, almost all had opted to go home. The Marauders had all chosen to stay, as had Lily Evans and Walden Macnair of Slytherin. That was it. Even Snape had gone home, though that was a good thing in Sirius’ opinion. The only teachers remaining were Professors Dumbledore, McGonagall and Slughorn. Six students and three teachers. Even Hagrid had gone away with some of his weird friends, and Filch had gone to visit a sister. Dumbledore had ordered the house elves to deliver trays to each of the students for their meals instead of going to the trouble of setting up the Great Hall. The only exception was Christmas day, where there was the customary Christmas dinner, and tonight, where there was going to be a feast for the first day of the holidays. 

He was snapped out of his thoughts as a pair of arms wrapped around his shoulders from behind.

“Not going to build a snowman?” came the teasing question.

“Not in the mood,” Sirius replied, pretending to return to his magazine.

“No hot chocolate?” the voice murmured in his ear. Sirius could feel the tickle of the hot breath on his neck.

“Too much sugar, it’ll rot my teeth,” the Pureblood said, fighting his smile.

“No sleigh rides?” The voice had moved to his other ear now, slender fingers tucking a lock of shaggy blue black hair behind Sirius’ ear.

“Not a fan of horses. Much prefer unicorns,” Sirius said lightly.

“You only like the rash they give you that gets you out of Potions. Just out of interest, why did you throw the cushion at Evans?”

Sirius lost his battle with his smile at this, letting out a guilty laugh. “It wasn’t aimed at her,” he defended, reaching up to stroke the warm hand fiddling with his collar. “It was aimed at Prongs.”

“Awww, has the nasty Prongs been mean to my Padfoot again?”

The arms disappeared and Sirius was joined in his armchair by one Remus John Lupin, teenage werewolf, owner of two beautiful amber eyes, wonderful at Defence Against the Dark Arts, and boyfriend of Sirius Orion Black. Remus slid into Sirius’ lap and granted him a sweet kiss.

“Very mean. He was teasing me again,” Sirius said, pouting.

“I heard. Poor Padfoot,” Remus said, stroking his cheek. 

“Have you sent the letter to your parents wishing them a Merry Christmas from both of us?”

“Sent it an hour ago. You were too interested in your magazine to notice me coming back in,” the amber eyed boy said, plucking the magazine from the fine boned hand and tossing it onto the coffee table.

“Very true, honey. There’s a new broomstick coming out.”

“Really?”

“Yup. It’s called a Cleansweep Eight. They claim it’s the fastest yet. I’m thinking of buying one.”

Remus smirked at him. “You keep spending your family’s money like this and they’ll disinherit you. I’m surprised they haven’t already.”

“Ah, but my dear old father is still hoping I’ll see the error of my ways, marry a nice inbred Pureblooded wench and give him three headed heirs for the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black,” Sirius said sarcastically with his hand on his heart but Remus wasn’t fooled by the brave front. 

Sirius felt betrayed by his family so easily brushing him aside. He had never gone in for all the Pureblood nonsense and Death Eater rubbish his family spouted, and that had made him the least favourite son. His mother had always treated him like something she’d stepped in, but his father still had his misguided hopes. Every few days he would send Regulus a letter, telling him to try, yet again, to persuade Sirius to come around to the ‘proper way of thinking’. Yeah, like that was ever likely to happen.

“Fuck your father. He’s blind if he can’t see how wonderful you are,” Remus said firmly, cupping Sirius’ cheek and catching his bright blue eyes. “If they can’t accept you, to hell with them all.”

“I know, I know. You’re right, you’re always right about them,” Sirius agreed, stroking Remus’ back. “I should look on the bright side. At least Reg’s gone home for Christmas. No bloody chats trying to get me to come home until January. Though I think he’s getting sick of trying.”

“Exactly. Now, by my reckoning, no one will be back for…oh, about eight hours.”

“Very reasonable deduction, Moony. If it’s ten am now, and they won’t be back until six pm, that does give us eight wonderfully uninterrupted hours together,” Sirius agreed, smiling.

“So…what do you say to trying out that theory of yours?”

“Which theory?”

“The one where you said Exploding Snap wouldn’t set bedcovers on fire,” Remus said, getting to his feet and holding out his hand for his boyfriend. Sirius took it and let Remus lead him up to the dorm, where they quickly discovered that Sirius was right, it didn’t set the bedclothes alight.

“Told you!” Sirius exclaimed triumphantly.

“Ah, for once you were right. We should call the Daily Prophet, it’ll be front page news,” Remus teased, earning a pillow around the ribs. “Oi!”

They launched into a furious pillow fight, which ended with James’ pillow, the one Remus had been swinging, exploding over them both, covering them in fluffy white feathers. They stood there in the middle of the dorm room, both trying not to laugh.

“Prongs is so going to kill you,” Sirius said.

“We can fix it with a spell,” Remus said.

Sirius pulled out his wand and repaired the pillow, the feathers zooming back into the case. Remus chucked it onto James’ bed and grabbed Sirius’ hand, pulling him to the window, showing him what he had seen. 

Fresh fluffy snow to add to the metre of it that fell last night.

Sirius stood behind Remus, wrapping his arms around his waist and resting his chin on his shoulder as they watched the downy white flakes drift down.

“They’re all going to freeze,” Remus said. “None of them remembered gloves.”

“How smart were we to stay behind?” Sirius said, kissing his neck.

“Very smart,” Remus agreed, turning around to capture his boyfriends lips, slowly pushing him back towards his bed. He pushed the Pureblood back onto the mattress and climbed into his lap, kissing him once more as he straddled him, sweeping off the Exploding Snap cards to scatter across the floor.

Sirius reached out and found the hem of a jumper. Remus raised his arms and the red wool came off, t-shirt going with it. Sirius’ shirt was unbuttoned by quick fingers, left to flutter to the floor. Then came belts, and trousers, soon followed by shoes and socks and boxers. 

Remus kissed Sirius as the slightly taller boy lay back, his fingers tangled in Remus’ wavy brown hair. 

“Remus,” Sirius breathed between kisses. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Remus said, sitting up and trailing his fingers along Sirius’ torso, making him wriggle. “What do you want?”

Sirius smiled shyly. “Well, I kind of liked that thing we did,” he admitted, making Remus laugh.

“You’re going to have to be a bit more specific, Pads, we’ve done a lot of things you liked.”

Sirius rolled his eyes and laughed. “I was talking about the one where we both sucked each other off at the same time.”

Remus smiled and climbed off his boyfriend, arranging them so they were lying on their sides, propped up on an elbow, smiling at each other. “You mean this one?” Remus asked innocently, before he bent his head and licked the tip of Sirius’ cock.

Sirius sighed. “Yes.”

“Then get to it.”

Sirius sniggered before he shifted closer, moaning as Remus’ wet heat surrounded him. Merlin, Moony definitely knew how to please him. Sirius swirled his tongue around the tip of his lovers member and clutched at Remus’ hip as the werewolf moaned around him. Remus chuckled and Sirius glared down at him. He decided to seek revenge by taking in Remus whole, swallowing around him, which made Remus throw back his head and cry out. Sirius chuckled and Remus called out his name.

It didn’t take long for the two of them to reach the point of no return, but just before they got there, Remus pulled away. Sirius pulled away from his mouthful and looked down.

“You okay?” he asked.

Remus didn’t answer and Sirius became very nervous. ‘Oh Merlin,’ Sirius thought. ‘This is it, the moment he realizes he’s made a mistake. This is where he leaves me.’

He was close to tears by the time Remus actually moved, and when he did move he caught Sirius by surprise. Before the illegal Animagus knew what was happening, he was flat on his back, his hands pinned above his head, one of Remus’ thighs between his own.

“Bored of sucking me off?” Sirius asked as he remembered how to breathe properly again. Remus wasn’t dumping him, he was just in the mood for something else.

“No…I just thought of what I want,” Remus said.

“Oh? And what would that be?”

Remus let go of one of his wrists and slid his hand down until he was cupping Sirius’ backside, letting one of his fingers slip between the cheeks to tickle his opening. “I want you. I want…Sirius…I…well…if it’s all right…”

Sirius could barely breathe. Remus hardly ever touched him there, it was something he reserved for moments when he wanted Sirius to dissolve. “Just tell me, Remus. Just tell me what you want.” 

Remus leaned forwards, kissing his neck before whispering in his ear, “I want to be inside you. Can I take you, Siri?”

Sirius froze. That was a new request. They had never gone that far. Hell, he had never gone that far, no matter what the gossips said. He knew Remus had never done it before either, but that was different. Remus was sweet, waiting for the right one. Not once had it occurred to him that he might be the right one. Sirius considered the idea, and only had to think for about three seconds to make up his mind that he really wanted Remus inside him.

Remus began to climb off of him, flushed red with embarrassment. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked, it was stupid…I’ll just-”

What Remus was ‘just’ was cut off by Sirius crashing their mouths together. “I want you to…to take me. I want you to have me…all of me,” Sirius said firmly. He hesitated. “It’s just…well…the thing is…”

“What?”

It was now or never, make or break, the moment of truth…

“We don’t have any protection,” Sirius said, mentally berating himself as Remus smiled.

“Don’t worry, I know how to perform the Charm.”

“How do you know that?”

Remus sniggered. “Mum and her famous chats.”

Sirius blushed and sniggered as Remus climbed off him, searching for his wand amongst their discarded clothes. Sirius’ mind was in turmoil. He should tell him, he fully intended to, but he just couldn’t get the words out. Why, he had no idea whatsoever, but he knew he just couldn’t tell his sweet Remus he was as much of a virgin as he was.

“Found it,” Remus said triumphantly, climbing back onto the bed. “Though how it ended up in your shirtsleeve, I have no idea.” He leaned in and kissed the raven haired boy, feeling some hesitation from him. He pulled back. “You do want to do this, don’t you? I mean, if you don’t, it’s okay, I understand. We don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“No, Remus, honestly. I want to do this. It’s just…it’s our first time,” Sirius said. He wasn’t lying, not really. And it made Remus smile in understanding.

Remus kissed him and then pointed his wand at the pale chest. “Agenes gerere,” he said and Sirius laughed as the Charm made him glow blue briefly. Remus smiled and reached into his bedside cabinet, pulling out a brand new tube of lube, still in its packaging. He settled himself on his knees between Sirius’ pale thighs, stroking the delicate skin, honing in on his goal as he suckled Sirius’ nipples, nibbled at his throat. Sirius’ breath hitched as his hand brushed his cock.

Sirius was shocked to find he wasn’t nervous, not in the slightest. There was no worry of it hurting, no fear of Remus moving too fast, of it not being good. Nothing. Just the way Remus touched him, the way Sirius felt. He felt loved, and cherished. Suddenly, all thoughts of his family, James, duties as an heir, Peter, school, everything was pushed from his head. All that was left was Remus.

He shivered as Remus stroked his inner thighs, slowly, his touch light. That clever tongue was teasing at his chest, soothing hard sucks on his throat. He gasped as one of his hands brushed his cock. He was hard, standing proudly, and that same hand wrapped around the needy flesh, stroking lazily. The other slipped lower, stroking his entrance, the touch so light, so hesitant.

“Yes,” Sirius whispered and both hands disappeared. He opened his eyes to see Remus fumbling with the clear plastic wrapper on the tube, the box long gone. Sirius sat up and took the tube from him, pulling off the binding. Remus’ hands were shaking and Sirius smiled at him, kissing him softly.

“Sorry, I’m nervous. I don’t want to hurt you,” Remus admitted.

“You won’t. Answer me this, where did you find out how gay men have sex?”

Remus flushed the brightest red Sirius had ever seen on a living person before. “Dad got me a book,” the werewolf mumbled. “He didn’t want me to hate my first time. He wanted me to know what I was doing.”

Sirius managed to suppress his laugh. John really did love his son. Buying a sex manual for your gay teenage son was above and beyond the call of parental duty, in Sirius’ opinion, but hey, he wasn’t a parent and his parents sucked at the job so what did he know? Maybe all good loving parents did these kinds of things for their children.

“And when has your dad ever steered you wrong?” Sirius asked, glossing over the fact that Remus’ father being the current topic of conversation was weird. They were naked, hard and about to shag like bunnies, for Merlin’s sake. Actually, scrap the bunnies, they were going to hump like wolves, but that was neither here nor there.

“Never.”

“And what does the book say?”

“It says to go slow, to use a lot of lube and to communicate,” Remus reeled off, ducking his head in embarrassment. 

Sirius cupped his cheek and forced him to look at him. “Then I think you’ve got nothing to be nervous about,” he said before swooping in for a sweet kiss. “I trust you. You won’t hurt me, I know it. I know you,” he whispered. “You won’t hurt me.”

Sirius himself only knew what he was doing because he had ‘borrowed’ James’ invisibility cloak and spent a night in the library, reading everything he could find on gay sex. Thank Merlin for the Health Studies section. Those books could be so informative, and they had moving pictures. So very helpful.

Remus smiled at him and Sirius opened the tube, squeezing some into Remus’ hand. The boy giggled at how cold it was and Sirius smiled, lying back. “Just follow what you read,” Sirius advised and smiled as Remus nodded, flexing his fist to warm the lube and coat his fingers with it.

Sirius smiled as Remus crawled onto him, a thigh in between Sirius’ own again, kissing him as his slim slick finger circled his entrance. Sirius moaned as it slipped inside. It felt so good, so right. After a moment, it began to move, slowly sliding in and out, each time penetrating him a little deeper. Sirius buried his head in Remus’ neck, wrapping his arms around him.

“More. Please, Remus, more.”

A second finger slipped in, bringing with it a feeling of being slightly stretched. It was odd, Sirius decided, but not unpleasant. He shifted his hips and the sliding began again, slowly stretching him as Remus kissed his neck. After a while, it just wasn’t enough.

“More,” Sirius breathed before he kissed Remus. They stayed lip locked as a third finger was gently worked into him. This one was a little uncomfortable, but it wasn’t all that bad really. It didn’t hurt, it was just new. He could feel Remus’ thick erection against his thigh and shivered when he imagined that hard length in place of the fingers. He threw his head back and half screamed as the fingers brushed something inside that was incredible. The pure pleasure was like nothing else he had ever felt.

“Are you all right?” Remus asked, worried. His fingers were still and Sirius could feel them beginning to slip from him. He reached down and grabbed Remus’ wrist, holding him in place as he locked his blue eyes with Remus’ amber ones. 

“Don’t stop. It didn’t hurt, it felt good. Please, Remus. Don’t stop,” he reassured and the lycanthrope smiled, touching it again. Sirius gasped, moving his hips in time to Remus’ hand. He glanced down at Remus’ wide erection. “One more, add one more.”

The final finger was worked into him, and then Remus began to spread them, stretching his lover. Sirius found he even enjoyed the slight burn that came with it. It was Remus doing it to him, and Remus would never hurt him. Before too long, it just wasn’t enough, he needed more. He could feel it, a longing, a need growing somewhere deep in his soul. He couldn’t explain it, this pull to do this. He had never felt anything like it before, not once in his whole life. Well, there was the first time Remus had kissed him, but that wasn’t this intense. He needed this, needed Remus, all of Remus or he might…he didn’t know. Die maybe, or explode, something major at any rate.

“Remus…I need…you…now…please,” Sirius begged between hot intense kisses and the fingers were removed, Sirius mourning the loss of them. Sirius watched as Remus sat up on his knees again, their eyes still locked as Remus squeezed out more lube, more than Sirius thought was really necessary, but hey, Remus was the one with the instructions here, Sirius was winging it, so who was he to pass judgement or offer his opinion on lube distribution? He bit his lip as Remus coated himself with the lube and then wandlessly summoned Sirius’ damp towel from the bathroom to wipe his hands on.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Remus asked as he climbed on top of him, settling down, cradled by Sirius’ thighs, his weight on his forearms either side of Sirius’ ribs. “It’s not too late for you to change your mind. If you’re not sure, we can still stop, you know.”

The Pureblood smiled. It felt so right to have Remus on top of him, about to make love to him. He had been wrong earlier. They weren’t about to shag like bunnies or hump like wolves. It wasn’t just sex, and it wasn’t fucking or shagging or anything else. It was making love, no other name for it.

“I’m sure. I want this, I want you. Please, Remus. Take me,” he whispered and was bestowed a huge smile and a sweet kiss before Remus tugged the rumpled blankets over their lower bodies. Sirius reached up and toyed with the sandy brown hair as Remus reached down, as he felt the nudge of something larger and more solid than the fingers between his legs. He brought his knees up higher, spread his legs a little more, opening himself further to make it easier. He remembered that much from the books. And he would have tried to force himself to relax like the books said, if he hadn’t already been that way. Remus’ enormous erection slowly breached him, the werewolf making gentle tentative thrusts into him until he was buried to the hilt, and then he lay still, kissing him, caressing him.

Sirius couldn’t decide if he liked it or not, all he knew was it felt right. He was stretched wide around his lovers beautiful hardness, and felt very full, but it didn’t feel good like the fingers. It didn’t hurt either, which was good, in Sirius’ opinion. The books had said the first time hurt, but this didn’t. Considering how big Remus was, and the gods had been more than generous when Remus was allotted endowments, Sirius had felt for sure it would hurt, or, at the least, be uncomfortable, but it didn’t and it wasn’t. It was just…kind of…there. Maybe it would feel good once Remus moved again. He wriggled his hips and it must have been some kind of sign, because his lover began to move. Slow, gentle thrusts, just Remus rocking into his body. Sirius began to move his hips, rocking back to meet him, the two of them taking their good sweet time. They kept stealing satisfying unhurried kisses, and the Animagus stroked his lovers back, reaching down to caress his backside every now and then. He decided that it was okay, but nothing to brag about, as quite a few did. They made it sound so great, so amazing. This was not great, nor was it amazing. It just was. It felt kind of nice, he supposed.

It did amaze him that Remus, the one person he loved most in the world, was inside him. They were connected, physically connected. He couldn’t quite get his head around it, that Remus was actually inside him.

And then the world moved. He wasn’t quite sure how it happened, if he shifted or Remus shifted or the gods intervened, he didn’t much care. Remus’ hard flesh was brushing that little spot inside him, and he was seeing stars. He wrapped his legs around his lovers waist, locking his ankles so the part that felt good was brushed every time Remus moved in him, and pulled him down into a demanding kiss, the werewolf moaning into his mouth as he half screamed his pleasure.

“Are you okay?” Remus whispered as he thrust, seemingly unable to stop himself.

Sirius nodded and scraped his nails down his back, not stopping until he reached his own legs. He then dragged them back up, making Remus moan and lap at his throat. Sirius threw his head back and began to gasp, crying out as he felt heat coil in his belly.

He wrapped his arms around Remus’ shoulders and buried his head in his tender flesh, Remus kissing his neck and shoulder as he lowered himself fully, his hands on Sirius’ back, tangled in his hair, reaching down to stroke his thigh. It was incredible, it was unmatchable by anything else. It didn’t matter anymore, not now. It didn’t matter that no one else wanted him. Remus wanted him, it was all he would ever need. His life meant something now, his life meant loving Remus. 

“Oh, sweet Merlin!” Moan. “Remus, I can’t…” Gasp. “…hold on!” Groan. “I’m going to come!” he cried out and Remus swooped in, claiming his mouth in a bruising kiss as his thrusts became faster, harder, deeper. His penis was trapped between them, rubbing deliciously against the soft skin of their stomachs, adding another layer of sensation to his already over stimulated body.

And then the whole world condensed into that one moment, the whole universe dissolving into nothing but Remus and Sirius and us and now and together. There was nothing else, just Remus on him, inside him, around him. 

Remus collapsed onto his chest, breathing hard and Sirius could feel him twitching inside him, liquid heat filling him, coating his insides as his own heat covered their stomachs. Sirius felt all warm and fuzzy. It was quite a nice feeling really. He stroked his lovers sweaty back as he caught his breath and then smiled as Remus lifted his head, looking at him nervously.

“Was it good?” Remus asked timidly and Sirius laughed.

“Good? Good? Remus, I don’t think good covers it. Wrong word. Try amazing, incredible, brilliant, and any other word that amounts to I enjoyed that more than I can say. You enjoyed it too, right?” Sirius said and Remus smiled as he nodded, one of his megawatt smiles that were like the first warm rays of summer. “Come here, come lay with me.”

He moaned as Remus slipped from him, and he found he kind of missed having him inside him. But then it was all right again, because Remus curled up to his side, his head pillowed on his chest, their legs tangled. Remus grabbed his wand and cast a cleaning charm on them both and the bedding, before he snuggled up, making himself comfortable. 

It was warm and safe, lying in Moony’s bed, Moony cuddled with him, stroking little circles on his belly. It was so comfortable, so nice, and he was so sleepy, and…

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“Sirius…Sirius…”

Sirius cracked open his eyes to find that it was dark outside, and Remus was sitting beside him, fully dressed, stroking his hair.

“What time is it?” he croaked.

“Quarter to six. Time to wake up, sleepy head.”

“What? Are you telling me that I actually slept?” he asked, sitting up.

Remus smiled. “Not only did you sleep, you slept for a whole four hours.”

Sirius was stunned. He hadn’t slept more than twenty minutes a night for years. There was that one night, when he was about eight, that he had managed a whole forty minutes, but he’d had the flu. He usually spent his nights reading one of Remus’ worn muggle paperbacks. Sirius Black, serial insomniac, had just slept for a whole four hours.

“I can’t believe I slept.” He shivered and realized he could actually see them breathing. “Merlin’s tits, it’s freezing in here!”

“I know. The fire’s gone out and I can’t relight it. Come on, put some clothes on,” Remus said, holding out his lovers shirt.

“Did you sleep?” the Pureblood asked as he hurriedly dressed, still shivering with clothes on.

“No, I watched you. I thought one of us should keep an eye on the time. Did you know that you cuddle in your sleep?”

“I do?”

“Mmhmm,” Remus hummed, digging through his trunk. “You kept cuddling into me.”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be. I kind of liked it,” Remus reassured as he straightened up, holding out a dark purple jumper. “Mum made it out of self heating wool, like my blanket. It’ll keep you warm.”

Sirius wriggled into it and immediately felt better. “You know what, I love your mother.”

Remus smiled and took his hand, casting a charm on his bed to make it. Together they walked down to the common room, where they found that room to be just as frigid. In fact, the whole castle was sub-zero.

They reached the entrance hall and cuddled up on the stairs, waiting for their friends to return. Six o’clock came and went, then half past, then seven. At half past seven there was still no sign of James and the others.

“Maybe they got held up because of the snow,” Sirius suggested.

“They are not going to be returning until Christmas Eve.”

The two teens turned around to find Professor Dumbledore walking down the stairs. 

“I was just in Gryffindor Tower looking for the two of you,” he said, coming to a stop in the entrance hall. “I assumed you would be playing chess or something along those lines.”

“We decided to come and wait for the others to come back,” Remus explained. “Professor, what do you mean they’re not going to be back until Christmas Eve?”

Dumbledore motioned them to the closest window and the two of them stared open mouthed. The light sprinkling of snow had turned into a full scale blizzard. The two Gryffindor’s couldn’t even see the front steps, all they could see was a sheet of white.

“Are they going to be okay?” Sirius asked.

“They will be fine. They have sought refuge from the storm in the rooms above Zonko’s. I assure you, they will be fine until the storm lets up.”

“Can’t they floo back?” Remus suggested, tearing his eyes away from the window.

“Unfortunately, the storm is causing too much interference. They cannot light a fire by any means. They will be away for the next few days, it will be just the three of us in the castle. If you would like, I can arrange to stay in Gryffindor Tower with the two of you.”

“Thank you, Professor, but we’ll be fine. We’ve got each other, we’ll be okay,” Sirius said and Dumbledore nodded, his eyes twinkling.

“Very well. Now, shall we go and have some dinner? The house elves have made all that food and it would be a shame for it to go to waste.”

The teens nodded and Sirius sent Remus on ahead, hanging back to speak to the Professor alone.

“Something I can help you with, Mr Black?”

“Yes. Well…ummm…you see, the thing is….”

“Mr Black, I have been a teacher for many years. Very little shocks me. Whatever it is, you can tell me,” Dumbledore reassured.

Sirius took a deep breath. “Well, it’s like this. I don’t sleep, I haven’t slept more than half an hour a night for years. But…well…me and Remus…we kind of…”

“You took advantage of the day alone together and fell asleep afterwards?” Dumbledore supplied, amused by the blush staining the sixteen year olds cheeks.

“Exactly. See, the thing is, I actually slept a whole four hours. So I was wondering if it would be okay if I slept in the same bed as Remus from now on,” Sirius said and Dumbledore smiled. 

“I see no problem with such a request as you are both over sixteen. But I must ensure that the two of you are being safe. You are taking precautions, aren’t you?”

“Yes, sir. I promise we’re being careful.”

“Then yes, you may slumber with Mr Lupin.” 

Sirius beamed at him. “Thanks, Professor.”

The two of them made their way to the hall, where the two teens were allowed to sit at the head table. The meal passed in a haze of delicious food and laughter, the teacher entertaining them with tales of some of his more interesting students, of which there were many.

When the meal was over, when they could eat no more, Dumbledore followed them up to the Tower, where he lit a fire in the common room for them, and one in the dorm. As a sly gift, he enlarged Remus’ bed and blankets to accommodate two people, and conjured them masses of pillows.

Sirius climbed into Remus’ bed that night and sighed at the warm arms that wrapped around him. It had been the perfect day, and they had another three whole days, three wonderful solitary uninterrupted days.

“Remus? You still awake?”

“Just.”

“I love you.”

The arms pulled him closer, a strong chin resting in the crook of his neck. He reached up and stroked the silky hair. “I love you too, Sirius. Nice of Dumbledore to resize my bed, wasn’t it?”

Sirius smiled guiltily. “Very nice. Just think, now we can have breakfast in bed without getting in each others way,” he distracted.

The ghost of a kiss against his shoulder. “That sounds like a plan, Mr Black. Are you planning on having your wicked way with me come dawns early light?”

Sirius sniggered. “Actually, I was hoping you’d have your wicked way with me.”

A soft chuckle. “Snuff out the candle then. The sooner we sleep the sooner I can have my wicked way with this wonderful body of yours.”

Sirius took a deep breath and leaned up, blowing out the candle, plunging the room into darkness. The blizzard raged on outside but all Sirius knew was Remus kissing the back of his neck as they mumbled their goodnights. 

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The scent of toast tickled his nose, and then the press of soft lips against his neck. He moaned and snuggled further into the warm bedding and slim arms around him. He didn’t want to open his eyes, it was too bright.

“Wake up, sweetheart. Breakfast is here,” came Remus’ whisper.

“What time is it?”

“A little after seven.”

“Eight hours.”

“Mmhmm. A whole eight hours, unbroken sleep. You are never sleeping without me again, you know that right?”

Sirius sniggered, stroking the warm chest he was pressed against. “Safe assumption, as I never manage to sleep anywhere else,” he said, placing a drowsy kiss on the shoulder he found, and groaned. “I was aiming for your mouth.”

“Maybe if you opened your eyes you could find it.”

Sirius slowly blinked his eyes, opening them bit by bit. “Merlin, it’s bright in here,” he said, squinting. Sometime during the night he had rolled over to face his lover, and the two of them had ended up in the middle of the bed. They were cocooned in warm blankets and fluffy pillows, and there was a fresh fire crackling merrily in the grate. “When did you light the fire?”

“I didn’t. Dumbledore came in about ten minutes ago to relight it. I think he’s the only one who can light fires in this storm.”

Sirius squirmed. “Did he see us?”

“A bit hard to miss the two boys snuggled up together. He wasn’t mad. He smiled at me and said that we make a wonderful couple. Good thing you asked his permission, isn’t it?”

Sirius glanced at his smirking boyfriend. “You heard that?”

“I did. The joys of werewolf senses. It was very sweet of you, and quite a change from tradition, you actually following the rules. Did you really think I didn’t know why he made my bed bigger?”

Sirius smiled shyly. “Well, yeah, I kind of did,” he admitted, freeing one arm from the bedding and tangling his fingers in the sandy brown hair. He pulled Remus in for a kiss, Remus’ hand coming to stroke his side.

“Good morning,” the raven haired boy said.

“Good morning.”

Remus slipped from the bed, returning less than a minute later with a breakfast tray, which he carefully placed across Sirius’ thighs as he sat up. He then rejoined him in bed with his own tray. 

“How do the house elves know what we like?” Sirius asked through a mouthful of sausage.

“Don’t know. Good trick though. The bacon’s delicious.”

After they had eaten and the trays had vanished, presumably to some elf waiting for them, they lay back down on Sirius’ side of the bed, Remus’ chest against Sirius’ back.

“Remus?”

“Mmmmmm,” the werewolf hummed as he kissed the pale skin of his boyfriends neck.

“I want you inside me,” he whispered and felt the smile against his neck. Remus reached over him, grabbing the lube from the bedside cabinet. He pressed it into Sirius’ hand and proceeded to slowly strip him.

If Sirius had thought he felt loved and cherished yesterday, he was positively precious now. Remus tasted every inch of him as he uncovered it, gently kissing and licking every piece of skin as he revealed it. And when he was done devouring him, he moulded his naked frame to Sirius’ back.

Remus reached forwards and grabbed his wand, quietly murmuring the Charm. Sirius chuckled.

“Why do you laugh every time I cast it?” Remus asked, tossing his wand back onto the nightstand.

“It tickles.”

“Ah, I see. Well, I can tickle you if you like,” he said, running his slender fingers along Sirius’ ribs. The Animagus giggled and squirmed. 

“Stop! I don’t want to be tickled!”

“Then what do you want?” Remus husked, his tickling becoming something entirely more satisfying.

“I want you. I want you to make love to me.”

“I’m all too happy to oblige. We’ll do it like this,” Remus whispered as he eased a hand behind Sirius’ knee, urging him to push his leg forward. 

Sirius did as he was asked, pulling his thigh up, and then gasped as he felt Remus’ hard hot flesh pressing between his cheeks. The lube was taken from his hand and he moaned as he was lovingly prepared, as carefully as the first time. He found himself pushing back against the teasing hand, urging Remus to take him, take all of him. And when Sirius didn’t think he could take another second, that surely he was going to embarrass himself and come just from being fingered, Remus pushed into him excruciatingly slowly. 

It was better than the first time; it felt so good to be like this, to have Remus within him, still and waiting for the illegal Animagus to be ready for him.

“Move,” Sirius breathed, shocked he could say anything at this point, and he was rewarded by smooth gentle thrusts. “Oh Merlin, Remus. I love you.”

“I love you. Sirius, I love you so much,” Remus replied, his hand coming around to rest on his lovers belly. His other hand snaked under Sirius’ neck, coming around to cross over his chest and hold his shoulder. Sirius moaned as Remus slid his hand down to grasp his hip, guiding him to match the easy rhythm. They moved together, Sirius reaching up to clutch at the arm around him, stretching down to steer the hand on his hip to his member.

Remus stroked him, just enough pressure, the same slow gentle speed as his thrusts, his thumb circling the slippery tip. All too soon, Sirius couldn’t hold on, couldn’t make it last any longer, no matter how much he wanted to. He let go of Remus’ wrist and reached back to tangle his fingers in the silky wavy hair, turning his head to capture Remus’ lips, the two of them crying out into each others mouths.

Afterwards, when cleaning charms had been performed, when they were spent and content to lie together, when he was warm and safe in his boyfriends arms, Sirius had a heart attack.

“Sirius, there’s something I need to tell you.”

Oh God, he couldn’t breathe. No, it couldn’t have meant nothing, it couldn’t have just been simply sex, just fucking. No, everyone else did that, then bragged about it. No, it meant more, it had to, or Sirius didn’t know how to go on living. Remus must have felt him stiffen because the arms around him tightened slightly. 

“Relax, I’m not dumping you,” Remus whispered, sucking on his earlobe before kissing his sweat slicked shoulder. Sirius slapped one of the arms around him.

“Don’t do that! You scared the shit out of me!”

Remus chuckled. “Sorry, sweetheart. I should have started with a better line.”

“Damn straight. So what is this thing you need to tell me?”

Sirius wriggled slightly, just enough for him to look up at the werewolf. Remus was chewing on his lip nervously and even though he found the nibbling delicious, Sirius couldn’t quite get his heart to stop racing. What the hell was it? It was serious, he could gather that much.

“Well, the thing is, now that we’ve slept together, now we’ve consummated our relationship, you know you can never leave me, right? I mean, you can’t dump me and go with someone else,” Remus said.

“Okay, before I ask my question, let me just say that you’re an idiot if you think I’ll ever let anyone else have me and what we do is making love, no other word for it. But, just out of interest, why can’t I leave you?” Sirius said, his heart slowing a little but still not down to it’s usual lazy rhythm.

“You’re my mate.”

“I know. Whoever you have sex with is your mate. I do read the books you give me, you know.”

“No, you don’t understand. You’re not just my mate. You’re my true mate. You know, like soul mates. You’re the one I’m meant to spend my life with. It means that we’re going to be together forever.”

“Oh.”

“I’m sorry, I should have told you before what we did yesterday, I shouldn’t have just done it with you. Oh Merlin, I’m an idiot. I’m so sorry, Sirius…”

Sirius didn’t hear anything else. Remus had said forever. Together forever. Sirius’ heart stopped pounding, and he managed to take a normal breath. His panic was replaced by a warm sensation, right above his heart. Forever. Remus would always be there, Sirius would never be alone again. Wait, where were those warm arms going? Why was Remus crying?

“Why are you so sad?” Sirius asked as Remus sat up, facing away from him, his back shaking with his badly concealed sobs.

“Because you don’t want me now. I can see it, you never meant this to be a forever thing, and I’ve gone and fucked everything up, and you’ll be shagging someone else soon, and I’ll end up in Azkaban for murder, because I can’t let anyone else touch my mate,” Remus sobbed, folding in on himself.

Sirius eased himself from the bedding and slowly crawled across the mattress. He draped himself over the slender back and pulled the crying boy back into his arms. “I’m not leaving you. I love you. And how can you say I don’t want you anymore? Remus, come on, look at me and I’ll explain,” he said, pulling his lover back into bed with him. They sat, side-by-side, Sirius trying to work out how to say what he wanted to.

“You still want me?” Remus whispered.

Sirius smiled at him. That was a good starting point. “Yes, I do. I was just thinking it through. Remus, honey, I love you, and knowing that you love me is the best thing in the world for me. Can you figure out why?”

Remus shook his head. 

“Honey, no one else has ever wanted me. Look at Reg, look at my mother. None of them want me, none of them love me. No one in my family ever gave a shit about me. When I went silent, I was thinking that I’d never be alone again, because I have you. Forever, you said together forever. Is that true? Is that what it means for me to be your true mate?”

“Yes. I will never love anyone but you, and I will never let anyone touch you but me. By having sex with you I’ve bound myself to you for the rest of my life. I’ll always be there, my wolf instincts see you as the most precious thing in the world, something that I have to protect,” Remus said, drying his tears with the tissue Sirius handed to him.

Sirius smiled, his own eyes stinging with tears. “And your human side? How does that feel about me?” he whispered.

“I love you. I love you with all my heart.”

He couldn’t stop them, even if he had tried to (which he didn’t) he couldn’t have stopped his tears from falling.

He climbed up onto his knees and crawled round to face his sniffing boyfriend. Merlin, Remus looked so cute with his beautiful amber eyes shining from the tears and his hair all ruffled. He slid into Remus’ lap and kissed him hard.

“All right, I’m crap with words so let me just say all of this and then you can say whatever you like, okay?” Remus nodded. Sirius took a deep breath. “Remus John Lupin, I love you more than I could ever tell you. I am yours, yours forever. I will never let anyone else kiss me, or touch me. Never anyone but you. I am your mate, your true mate, your soul mate. And if you think that anything will make my feelings change, or go away, you’re wrong. I will love you my whole life, you and no other.”

The Animagus went silent, waiting for Remus to speak. It was taking a really long time. Hang on, Remus wasn’t saying anything, not a word. Why wasn’t he saying anything? Oh! That’s right…

“You can talk now. I’m done,” he added and Remus laughed.

“I don’t need to say anything. You just said it all,” the lycanthrope whispered.

And that was how it stood. No questions, no doubts. They loved each other, and that was more precious than anything else.

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Day one, Remus and Sirius declared their love and subsequently spent the day in bed, mating.

Day two, Remus and Sirius spent the day curled up on a sofa under Remus’ blanket in the Gryffindor common room, talking and roasting things in the fire Dumbledore lit for them.

Day three, Remus and Sirius did all of their homework, with the knowledge of pissing James and Peter off with their completed assignments, and then rewarded themselves with a particularly long and satisfying lovemaking session.

Professor Dumbledore popped in on them a few times a day, thankfully catching them at good moments, when they actually had some clothes on. The man had impeccable timing. He checked on them first thing in the morning, lighting them a fire in the dorm as Remus woke first, and last thing at night, making sure they hadn’t loved each other to death, stopping in at regular intervals in between. He found it comforting to know that his two remaining students were still alive, eating the occasional meal and taking the odd shower.

The two boys seemed to be thriving. But on the third day, as he helped them with their Transfiguration assignments, Professor Dumbledore found out why the two had enjoyed the three days so much. 

They never got any time alone.

James was always claiming Sirius’ attention or Remus’ time, and Peter was always following them around. The couple had been together for over a year, and this was the first set of loved up days they had gotten. Lily had tried helping them escape several times, but she never managed to succeed. It seemed that James and Peter thought that they were merely fooling around, or something of the sort, and found it acceptable to butt in whenever they felt like it. The only time the boys got alone was the Hogsmeade weekends, from which James and Peter always came back early, and skiving off a class once in a while, which they usually got caught doing. Even the Prefects bathroom was no longer safe, as the other Prefects had discovered how much fun it was to shut themselves in.

As Albus Dumbledore waited in the entrance hall at half past six on Christmas Eve morning, he hit upon the perfect way to help the young couple. Maybe if James and Peter could be made to understand what he, and clearly Miss Evans, had grasped so easily, they would give the couple some breathing room. Albus found he really was liking the little known school rule.

Rule 4832 of the Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry Code of Conduct: 

Any two students, of being over legal age and having been in an exclusive relationship of a romantic nature for the minimum of twelve months and one day, may honourably slumber within the same bed, at the discretion of the current Headmaster or mistress of this fine establishment.

Albus really rather liked that rule, though he would rather it did not become public knowledge that such a rule existed.

“Oh dear. What has happened?” Albus asked Professor Minerva McGonagall as he caught sight of James’ black eye and split lip.

“Potter picked a fight with Walden Macnair and lost,” she replied. She looked exhausted. Horace Slughorn didn’t look much better as he shoved Walden towards the steps to the dungeons, waving Albus off with promises of explanations later.

“And what was the fight about?”

“We were only talking, Professor,” Lily put in and he focussed his attentions on the sunburnt redheaded girl. Poor thing. She had obviously gotten caught by the sun reflecting off of the bright white snow. It made her vivid eyes stand out even more.

“Miss Evans, perhaps you could give a good account of what has gone on?”

“I was talking with Walden about Potions assignments, and then James comes muscling in. Well, Walden didn’t like some of the things James called him and he hit him. It knocked him out, which I suppose is a good thing.”

Albus smiled. “Perhaps it will knock some sense into him. Now, will you three Gryffindor’s wait here while I have a quick word with Professor McGonagall, and then I shall escort you up. I have changed the password and I wish to show the three of you something.”

The three youngsters nodded and he drew Minerva aside.

“Albus, are Remus and Sirius all right? Poor lambs, being here alone for three days. We would have come back sooner were we able,” she asked anxiously.

“Calm yourself, my dear lady. The two boys are fine, absolutely fine. As a matter of fact, they were glad of the solitude.”

“What do you mean?”

“You are aware of their relationship, are you not?”

“Yes, I am aware. They have been dating exclusively since last October, which makes it fourteen months. They are quite the couple.”

“Well, the two of them have not had the chance to have some personal time since the school year started, so they enjoyed the chance to be alone. I do have something you should know regarding that.” The witch nodded and he smiled. “I have granted the young love birds permission to sleep in the same bed. It seems we have a cure for Mr Black’s insomnia.”

“While it is comforting to hear that the young man is at last getting some sleep, are you telling me that they have been indulging in sexual relations?” she asked, her eyes wide.

“I am saying nothing of the sort. What they do with their time is their business. I can only assure you that they are taking precautions, if they are indeed in a carnal relationship. What I am saying for definite is that the two of them have slumbered in the same bed and I have given them permission to continue to do so,” Albus said. He smiled whimsically. “They are especially sweet together first thing in the morning, all cuddled up. Very adorable.”

“Albus, you old romantic. Well, are they comfortable in one of the dorm beds? They are rather small. It would be a wee bit cramped for two of them.”

“I took the liberty of enlarging Mr Lupin’s bed for them.”

The old witch smiled and patted his arm. “I suppose if they have permission from the headmaster himself, and they are both legally allowed to add a carnal aspect to their relationship, and it is within the school rules, then who am I to intervene?”

“Thank you, Minerva. Now, you should get some rest. Though, would you pop down to the kitchens and inform the elves of the students return first? Please ask them to send the lovebirds breakfast to the Gryffindor common room this morning, and not the dorm.”

“Of course.”

With that she cast one more disapproving look at James before she swept away. Albus made his way over to the three teens. “If you would follow me, please.”

He led them up the stairs, the lively young witch filling him in on their time away as they walked, and stopped outside the portrait of the Fat Lady.

“Geong lufu,” Albus said and the portrait swung forwards, admitting them.

James wondered what the hell was going on. The blanket Remus usually had on his bed, the one his mother made him out of self heating wool, was crumpled on the sofa, and there was indication of things being roasted in the fire, something Remus loved doing. There wasn’t any evidence of Sirius in the room at all. No Quidditch magazines, no Zonko products lying around. Nothing of Sirius, only of Remus.

“Follow me quietly please,” Dumbledore said after he lit the afore mentioned fire. He led the three of them up to the sixth year boys dorm.

James followed obediently, Lily just in front of him, Peter just behind. Their dorm room was different to all the others. There were only the four Marauders in it. They had been the only four boys sorted into Gryffindor that year, and they rather enjoyed it just being the four of them. They reached the door and Dumbledore held a finger to his lips.

The three teens hovered in the doorway as Dumbledore moved forwards and lit the fire, warming the frigid room. The room was different, but James couldn’t work out how until Remus spoke.

“Morning, Professor,” the werewolf whispered.

“Good morning, Mr Lupin,” Dumbledore replied quietly. He indicated the doorway. “Your friends have returned safe and sound.”

“Good to know they haven’t been turned into icicles.”

James couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Remus’ bed was bigger than before they left, it was a double bed now, and there was someone curled up to Remus. He couldn’t see who it was, the blankets and a ridiculous amount of pillows were in the way. Dumbledore smiled at the three of them as he passed, sweeping swiftly down the stairs. James, with his Gryffindor spirit, moved into the room and his jaw dropped. 

Remus had fallen back to sleep, and cuddled up with him was Sirius.

“I told you they weren’t just fooling around,” Lily whispered and James nodded dumbly. 

Peter opened his mouth to say something but James clapped his hand over it. “Go downstairs with Lily,” James whispered, casting a meaningful glance at the girl. She took Peter’s arm and dragged him to the door. The plump boy protested the whole way, and Lily rolled her eyes as she closed the door behind them.

“Bloody idiot,” James muttered. “He’s going to wake them with that racket.”

“I’m already awake, Prongs.”

He looked at the bed to find Remus watching him. “Will I wake him?” he asked in a whisper, nodding at his best friend.

“No, not if you’re quiet.”

James nodded and sat down near Sirius’ feet, taking in the scene fully. Sirius never slept, he just didn’t do it. But here he was, snuggled up to Remus, fast asleep. He smiled in his sleep and James realized he was dreaming. Remus had an arm pinned beneath his boyfriend and the other one lying protectively across Sirius’ ribs. The two of them were not just cuddled up, it was something else. This meant something else, and James felt like a fool for not noticing it earlier, for ignoring all the signs, all the warnings by Lily.

“I’m so sorry, Moony. I didn’t realize you two were this serious,” James whispered and Remus smiled at him. “If I had, I wouldn’t have teased you so much, and I would have backed off.”

“It’s okay. You realize now.”

“Has he slept like this the whole time we’ve been away?”

“Yes. At least eight hours a night. He’s getting quite good at dreaming, too.”

James grinned. “You must have a good effect on him. Did…umm…did the two of you…you know…do it?” he asked, his curiosity winning out. He wouldn’t just assume that they had, Remus and Sirius would always manage to surprise him. Over the years, James had learnt to never assume anything, he would usually be proven wrong.

“I’m not going to answer that. Not until Sirius tells me what he wants you all to know,” Remus whispered simply and James nodded. 

It was as good as a yes, but it could mean Sirius might want to save face. The guy was a player, well, he was until he got involved with Remus. Maybe they hadn’t done it but Sirius wanted to say that they had. Or they had and it was more than just a shag, in which case Sirius would want to keep it private. Either way, Remus would protect Sirius’ right to confirm or deny. He would protect Sirius, point blank. James looked at the sleeping Animagus once more, noticing the way his hands were pressed against Remus’ heart, the way his head was tucked under his chin. The way Remus looked perfectly content to lie like that all day and night if Sirius wanted to.

“You really love him, don’t you?”

“Yeah, I do. And he loves me.”

Lily poked her head around the door. “Breakfast has arrived,” she whispered before she disappeared again.

Remus eased his arm out from under Sirius and the Animagus reached for it. “Where going?” he mumbled sleepily.

“Just down to the common room for a bit. Go back to sleep, I’ll be right back,” Remus murmured, stroking his hair, their foreheads touching.

Sirius leaned in and kissed the werewolf softly before he nodded. Remus continued to stroke Sirius’ hair and face until he wriggled down into the warm bedding and drifted off again. Remus slipped from the bed and James noticed that he was wearing a pair of pyjama bottoms. He had assumed that the two of them were naked under their blankets. He reminded himself to, once again, never assume anything. Remus pulled on his top and the two of them slipped from the room.

“So, how was Hogsmeade?” Remus asked as they stepped into the common room. “Good grief, Evans, what happened?”

“Sunburn. Who knew you could get burnt in the dead of winter?” she said tensely, sipping from a teacup.

“Hogsmead could have been better,” James said as he flopped into an armchair. Remus curled up under his blanket and sniggered at the black eye. “I got into a disagreement with Macnair. Honestly, Moony, you try sharing a room with him for three days and see how well you do.”

“Probably a damn sight better than you, Prongs,” Remus joked as Lily passed him a cup of tea and a slice of toast. Peter was squirming in his arm chair and Remus sighed. He polished off his toast before he spoke again. “Go on, Wormtail, ask. Though, keep in mind I might not tell you anything at all.”

“Did you do it?” Peter asked excitedly.

“Leave it alone, Peter,” James warned.

“He said I could ask, so I’m asking. So, Moony, did you and Pads shag?”

“None of your business,” Remus said simply.

“Come on! Tell me.”

“No. It’s private, Peter.”

“But…”

“Shut it, Peter,” Lily said firmly. “It’s none of your business so stop it.”

Remus could see that Peter was not going to give in, and Remus was not going to tell anyone anything, not until he knew what Sirius wanted people to know. He didn’t care either way, not amongst his closest friends, but he was not the only one concerned in this. “What time is it?”

“About half past seven,” Lily said.

“Right. If you’re that interested, Wormtail, you can ask Padfoot. I’ll go with whatever he wants to tell you,” he said, standing up and grabbing the covered tray. Crumpets, by the smell of it, Sirius’ favourite. That would help make this a bit smoother.

His three friends stood up with him and he paused. “Let me wake him before you launch into the interrogation, Peter.”

The blond boy nodded and Remus headed to the stairs. At the door he handed James the tray. “Wait until he’s awake before you put the tray on the bed. It might go flying otherwise,” he said and James nodded. The three friends went and perched on James’ bed, which was closest to the double, and Remus climbed back into bed, snuggling down under the covers, curling close to his lover.

Remus had no problems with his friends seeing him and Sirius together in bed, not when they were like this. He was proud of the love they had, proud of them being together. And Sirius wasn’t naked under the duvet, so it was safe to try waking him without giving them an eyeful of his mate.

He brushed Sirius’ hair from his forehead and the raven haired boy snuggled closer to him, tucking his head under his chin again. 

“Sirius…Sirius, wake up,” he called softly and Sirius groaned, stroking Remus’ chest.

“Don’t want to. All warm and cosy,” Sirius mumbled, pulling the duvet up over his shoulder.

“Breakfast is here.”

“Not hungry.”

Remus smiled. “Yeah, right. Come on, sweetheart, our friends are back.”

“What?”

“James, Peter and Lily are back.”

“Is it Christmas Eve?”

“Yes.”

“What time is it?” Sirius asked as he began to blink his eyes open.

“Half seven, you got nine hours sleep,” Remus said and smiled as Sirius looked up at him, squinting at the bright early morning sun. “Good morning, sweetheart.”

“Mmmmmm,” Sirius hummed as he stretched, before he brought Remus in for a morning kiss, smiling into it. “Morning, honey. What’s for breakfast?”

“Crumpets.”

Sirius was wide awake now. He wriggled around, sitting up and smiling as James handed him his breakfast.

“Look at the sunburn,” James whispered and Sirius looked over at Lily.

“Good look, Evans,” Sirius said as Remus poured him some tea.

“Oh, shut up, Black. That hickey’s a good look for you too,” she said, nodding at his bare torso. He glanced down and, sure enough, there was a bright fresh love bite on his left shoulder. He grinned sheepishly and pulled on his shirt before chomping into a hot buttered crumpet.

“Peter has some questions and I’m not telling him anything without you approving it first. I don’t care either way, but you might,” Remus said, snagging a crumpet, and Sirius looked over at their friend, who was positively bouncing in his excitement. The Pureblood rolled his eyes.

“Fine, I’ll answer if Prongs tells me what happened to his eye.”

“Walden Macnair happened,” James supplied.

Sirius grimaced and started on his second crumpet. “Enough said. Okay, Wormtail, fire away.”

“Did the two of you shag?” Peter asked bluntly.

“No,” said Sirius and Remus grinned.

“What? But…but…you’re in the same bed! You can’t tell me you just slept! Three days alone together! No way!”

“I didn’t say we just slept,” Sirius said and James smiled, catching on. Lily looked quite at ease, as if she had known all along that this would happen. Maybe she had, she was a very smart witch.

Peter looked like his head was about to explode, he looked that confused. “What?”

“We didn’t just sleep, but we didn’t shag either.” Sirius glanced at Remus and leaned in, giving him a sweet kiss. “We made love.”

Peter snorted. “You just said you didn’t shag. You’re a liar, Pads.”

Sirius rolled his eyes, as did James, Remus and Lily. “I am not a liar. There’s a difference between the two, Peter. Me and Remus did not shag, fuck, hump, rut or any other word you choose to use right now. We made love, it’s different.”

“How?”

Sirius took a sip of tea. “We’ll use the word shag, as it’s the one you decided to use. When you shag, it’s just about sex, getting your rocks off. When you shag, you go and brag about it afterwards, it doesn’t mean anything, it’s just physical.”

“But isn’t that what you did?”

Sirius growled. Why wasn’t Peter being timid anymore? That would have been so much easier. “Someone shut him up while I finish explaining,” he snapped and Lily smiled, placing a hand over Peter’s mouth. “Thank you, Evans. Right, where was I?”

“The difference,” Remus supplied, wiping melted butter from the corner of Sirius’ mouth with his thumb.

“Oh right. The difference, Peter, is that when you make love, it’s something beautiful. It’s more than just the physical, it’s about being with the one you love, and expressing that love. It’s nothing to brag about, because it’s private. If you tell people all the details, it becomes something…I don’t know…cheap, dirty. It loses something special, something important. Get it now?”

Peter nodded and Lily took her hand away. “So, who did who?”

They all groaned at him.

“Stop asking, Peter. We’re not telling you anything else,” Sirius said.

“Aw, come on! Just tell me who did who,” Peter persisted.

“Stop,” Remus growled.

“I just want to know.”

James lunged across Lily, making a grab for Peter, but the little blond was saved by the door opening, revealing Professor McGonagall.

“Mr Potter! Fighting again!” she snapped.

“He wasn’t fighting, Professor,” said Remus. “He was shutting him up.”

“And why does he need shutting up?”

“He’s being a nosy little git, that’s why,” James said angrily.

“Explain,” she commanded. “Wait, first I want to check on my students. Remus, Sirius, are the two of you all right? Three days alone, I was worried you’d go stir crazy.”

Remus smiled. “No, Professor, we’re all right.”

Sirius glanced down at the bed. “Ummm, we…”

“It is all right, Mr Black. Professor Dumbledore has explained this…cure for your insomnia already. You need not give excuses,” she said and Sirius smiled. “Right, now, what has Mr Pettigrew done to warrant being called a nosy little git?”

“He’s asking personal questions when all of us have told him to shut it,” Sirius grumbled, glaring at Wormtail.

McGonagall surveyed the scene before she sighed. “Mr Potter, Miss Evans, please take Mr Pettigrew down to the common room. I will deal with him in a moment,” she said and the two teens grabbed the third, dragging him from the room. She stared at the two of them sitting in bed before she sat down on James’ bed. She seemed to be unable to figure out what she wanted to say.

“Just say it, Professor,” Remus said as Sirius placed his tray on the floor, where it vanished.

“I have a few questions that I need answered honestly. Will you answer them for me, boys?” she asked.

“Yes, ma’am.”

“I don’t want to know any personal details, I just need to be aware of what is going on. Are the two of you having sexual relations? ”

“Yes, we are,” Sirius said.

“And are the two of you being careful?”

“Yes.”

“You know I’ll have to write to your parents, don’t you, Mr Lupin? We must keep them informed of your behaviour,” she said gently. “Because of your condition, they need to be aware of everything, so they have no big surprises when you go home for the holidays.”

The two teens looked at each other. “Can you put it delicately?” Remus asked.

“Of course.”

“Then go right ahead, Professor.”

She sighed, looking at the two of them. She had never seen either of them so relaxed. And she had never seen Sirius so well rested.

“All right, boys. You are both sixteen, legal in the Wizarding World, so I will go along with what you agreed with Professor Dumbledore on a few conditions. Firstly, you are not to let anyone but the three Gryffindor’s downstairs know about this. Some of the other Muggleborn students might not understand, and it is a little known school rule that you are allowed to do this. Let’s not have every student thinking this is an excuse to ‘get it on’. Secondly, you must both see Madame Pomfrey when she returns, for no other reason than to put my mind at ease. Thirdly, you must continue to be careful. It would not do anyone any good to have one of you end up pregnant. All clear, boys?”

They smiled. “We’ll be good, Professor. We promise,” Sirius said.

“Good to hear. Now, what was Peter doing?”

Remus growled. “He was asking about the details, Professor. All four of us told him to shut it, to leave it alone, but he kept on about it. We’re not telling him, or anyone else, about what we do. It’s no ones business but ours. It’s private and he won’t get that into his thick skull.”

She nodded and smiled at them. “Don’t worry. I will be dealing with him. Is it all right for me to send Miss Evans and Mr Potter back up if they wish to come?”

They nodded and she swept from the room, leaving the door open a crack. They could hear her yelling at Peter and they smiled.

“We shouldn’t be smiling over our friend getting in trouble, you know,” Sirius put in, still grinning.

“Probably not, and we wouldn’t under any other circumstances, but this time he asked for it,” Remus said, making himself comfortable. He propped himself up against a mass of pillows and opened his arms. Sirius snuggled into them and the two of them got a few minutes alone before footsteps could be heard on the stairs.

“You guys decent?”

Sirius snorted. “We are, it’s safe, Prongs.”

James entered the room and collapsed across the foot of the double bed at Remus’ permission to do so. 

“McGonagall’s taken him to Dumbledore,” James said.

“You what? It wasn’t that serious,” Remus said.

“It bloody well was,” he argued. 

Sirius felt it best to stay out of it for the time being. He felt that Peter had gotten what he deserved, and Dumbledore would make it clearer to Peter than any of them ever could. Sirius was content to lie in Remus’ arms, having quite a nice conversation with James.

“Let’s just forget about it for now. It’s done,” Remus said, ending the debate. “Where’s Evans?”

“Gone to take a shower. I’m waiting for her scream when the water hits the burn.”

Sure enough, no sooner had James said it was there a shriek from the girls dorms. The three boys sniggered. James looked suddenly guilty.

“I’m so sorry, guys. If I’d have realized you two were more than just fooling around, I would have backed off. And I wouldn’t have teased you so much. Probably,” he said. “Though, neither of you told me you were this serious.”

“Oh look, Moony, he’s got selective hearing,” Sirius said, making Remus chuckle and James blush. “We did try to tell you. And I seem to recall Evans repeating it quite often.”

“All right! I’m a prick and I should have buggered off. Forgive me?” James said pleadingly.

“I suppose so. If you help us figure out how the fuck we make this work with you and Peter sleeping in the room with us,” Sirius said.

The three were silent, each trying to figure it out. How the hell was it supposed to work? Sirius had tried being quiet, tried not calling out his lovers name, but that had lasted only as long as it had taken Remus to find his sweet spot. They had tried biting pillows to muffle the cries of pleasure, but they gave up when it became hard to breathe. They would have bitten each other, if it was safe to do so, which they weren’t quite sure about.

“My God, silence from James Potter. What did you say to him?” Lily said as she entered the room, her hair still wet and her skin a little more raw looking.

“Come here, Evans, let me heal you,” Sirius said, taking pity on her. 

All of them knew just how good Sirius was at healing charms. He could have given Madame Pomfrey a run for her money. He was the one who usually patched Remus up after a full moon, even if the spells did make Remus feel queasy afterwards.

The girl moved forwards and plopped down onto the bed, sighing in relief as the spell restored her flawless ivory skin.

“Thanks,” she breathed, cautiously touching her face. “Remus, do you mind if I use Sirius’ leg as a cushion?”

“Nope.”

“Hang on, why did you ask Moony and not Padfoot? It’s his leg,” James asked as she lay back, her head pillowed on Sirius’ thigh. The three of them smiled at him.

“You want to explain, Evans? I’ll let you know if you get anything wrong, which I doubt you will,” Remus offered and she nodded.

“Every werewolf has a true mate. It’s the lycanthropic equivalent of soul mates. It’s the person they’re meant to be with for the rest of their lives. Sirius is Remus’ true mate. Am I right so far?” she said and Remus nodded, Sirius smiling as he toyed with her hair, Remus stroking his. “Right, so, if you take that into consideration, along with the fact that Remus is a dominant alpha wolf, it all adds up to no one touching his mate without permission. Without his consent, whoever touches Sirius would be a threat, according to his wolf instincts, and he’d probably end up in Azkaban for murder, which none of us want, so it’s best to ask Remus’ permission to touch Sirius, especially as it’s so soon after the bond between them becoming solid, which happens with the first mating or, as they put it, lovemaking.”

“Did you swallow a text book, Evans?” James said after he processed all the information.

“No. Unlike you, Potter, I actually do my homework. Besides, Remus’ mum was nice enough to explain it to me over the summer. So, what were you discussing before I came in?”

“We were trying to figure out how we make this work,” Sirius said.

“Make what work?”

“Prongs and Wormtail sleeping in the same room as me and Moony.”

“Why don’t you just cast a silencing spell on the drapes?”

“What?” Remus asked.

“Close the drapes and cast a silencing spell on them. No one will be able to hear or see you. And if the drapes are closed, it’ll be like a do not disturb sign to James and Peter,” she said reasonably.

James stared at her in shock, but Remus and Sirius smiled at each other. “I rather like that idea,” Remus said. “What do you think, Prongs?”

James snapped himself out of his shocked silence. “I think it’ll work.” He glanced at Lily. “You know what? I think I’m going to go outside to build a snowman. You coming?”

“Yeah, why not?” she said, sitting up. “You two coming to join us?”

The two looked at each other. “We’ll join you in a bit, once we’ve had a shower,” Sirius said. The two teens left and Sirius sat up.

“You okay?” Remus asked, wriggling behind him so he could drape himself around his lover.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Moony?”

“Mmmmmm?”

“What are your parents going to say about this?”

Remus smiled. “Don’t know. They’ll probably be fine with it. You’re not worried, are you, sweetheart?”

“No,” Sirius said, a little too quickly, a tad too loudly. He smiled sheepishly. “All right, yes, I am.”

“Why? My parents adore you.”

“Yes, but that was before I made love with their only son. What are they going to think of me now?”

Remus sighed. “Sirius, sweetheart, listen to me. When I was bitten, my parents thought that was it. They thought I would never get to go to Hogwarts, that I would never have any friends, that I would be alone for the rest of my life. Both of them, even dad, knew that I would never find real acceptance in the Wizarding World. They both knew that I was damned to a difficult life,” he said.

“But your life isn’t like that,” Sirius argued.

“That’s my point,” Remus said. “Because of Dumbledore, I got to come to Hogwarts. And because of you and James and Peter, I have friends, good friends. The best friends. And because of you, I’m not alone. Sirius, you love me. You accept me for who and what I am, without question. I love you, and my parents know that. They know that you make me happy. And if this is another part of me being happy, they will go with it.”

Sirius sat there mulling it all over. He adored Anne and John, they were brilliant. They were even better than James’ parents, and that was saying something. They were the two people in all the world, apart from Remus, he didn’t want to hurt in any way. He wanted them to be proud of him, to think that he was good enough for Remus. He didn’t think he was, he had never though he was good enough for Remus. But Remus wanted him, and being with him made Remus happy. Who was he to deny Remus something that made him happy? Sirius being with Remus seemed to make Anne and John happy too, so he supposed he would go along with it. Either way, if they accepted them making love or not, he would not give Remus up. Remus was the best thing to ever happen to him, and he would do what he had to, to keep him.

“I guess I’ll stop worrying then,” Sirius said. Remus smiled and swung around, landing in Sirius’ lap. He reached up and pulled him down for a kiss. “Do you want to go and make a snowman?”

“Yes, I think I do.”

“We better get that shower then.”

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Madame Pomfrey arrived back at Hogwarts on Boxing Day, and Remus and Sirius were immediately summoned.

They walked into the Hospital Wing and took deep breaths before they approached the matron.

“Ah, there you are. Right then, sit down boys, we’re going to have a little chat before I check you both over,” she said firmly and they knew by the look in her eyes that she was not joking, and this was no time to argue with her. So they took their seats and waited for the interrogation.

Remus was already red in the face at the mere thought of someone knowing intimate details of his life with Sirius, but he knew he had to endure it.

“Okay, boys. First off, who was the penetrating partner?”

“Remus was,” Sirius said.

“And did you use protection?”

“Yes, we used the Charm.”

“Adequate lubrication?”

“Yes.”

“Are you in any pain?”

Sirius shook his head and she made some notes on her parchment. 

“Now, have you given thought to contraception?”

“Of course we have, which is why we used the Charm. We’re being careful, Madame Pomfrey, we promise,” Sirius said and she smiled.

“I was talking about beyond this first initial stage. Were you considering the Charm as a permanent fixture in your intimate moments, or would you like to try some other form of protection?”

“We were wondering about the Daily Potion,” Remus said quietly, not quite able to look her in the eye. “I’m sorry, Madame Pomfrey, I don’t mean to be rude, but do we really have to do this?”

She smiled at him. “Yes, Remus, we do. It’s important we keep an eye on you, and now Sirius comes as part of that deal.”

Remus sighed and nodded, Sirius reaching over to hold his hand. The questions continued, Remus getting redder and redder as they went on. Then Remus had to squash his wolf instincts as Madame Pomfrey examined Sirius. It was not something he enjoyed, sitting by while someone else touched his mate so intimately. But he managed to control himself, and they were finally allowed to leave with a months supply of the Daily Potion for both of them, just in case they decided to have Sirius top, and an instruction of no biting hard enough to break the skin on Remus’ part. Sirius biting him was fine, he already knew Sirius could not break the skin, but he couldn’t bite Sirius too hard or there was the risk of infection.

“I hated that,” Remus said as they stashed their potions in their bedside cabinets.

“I know, but look on the bright side. It’s all over now,” Sirius said, pulling him in for a kiss.

“That is a bright side. Now, did you notice that James and Peter are off with Hagrid, looking at his new hippogriff?”

“Yes, I noticed,” Sirius said, moaning as Remus kissed his throat.

“Good,” Remus said as he pushed him onto the bed.

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Sirius was highly confused. 

He had happily been sitting in his Muggle Studies lesson, one of the few lessons he had without Remus, when Hagrid came to get him. He told him to go straight to the Hospital Wing, that it was very important. Dumbledore had asked for him specifically.

And he found out why as he walked in. 

Remus was wild, writhing on one of the beds, snarling and growling, trying to bite the people restraining him. Of which, there were four. Professor’s Sprout, Slughorn, McGonagall and Dumbledore had a limb each and were pinning the writhing werewolf to the bed, all of them struggling despite the advantage of age over Remus. Madame Pomfrey was dancing around them, trying to administer what she could, but she stopped the moment Sirius entered the room.

“Mr Black, at last!” the matron cried, hurrying over. “Remus is very ill, we need to treat him, but he won’t let us.”

“What’s wrong with him?” Sirius asked, his eyes fixed on his boyfriend.

“I think it’s appendicitis, but I can’t be sure until I examine him.”

“Why is he like this?”

“It’s a werewolf thing. He’s an Alpha dominant wolf , which means-”

“-he won’t let you take control over him. I do read the books given to me. So you need me to…what’s it called?”

“Force submission. Yes, we need you to do that. Do you know how?”

“Sort of…well, no, not really,” Sirius admitted.

Madame Pomfrey nodded, guiding him to the bed but being careful not to actually touch him. “Well, you need to assert yourself as the Alpha, you have to take that power away from him. You might be able to convince him with words, you are his mate.”

“And if I can’t do it with words?”

“To a werewolf, their throat is the most vulnerable point. You need to thread your fingers through his hair, placing the other hand on his chest. Then, at the same time, force his chest down and his head back, leaving his throat exposed.”

“That’s it?”

“Well…you then need to fasten your teeth around his throat. You won’t hurt him, I promise, you can’t break the skin.”

Sirius looked between the witch and his mate, taking a deep breath before nodding.

“Remember, even after he’s calm, you can’t let go.”

The Animagus nodded once more before stepping forwards, hesitating for a moment, before finding his resolve.

Sirius strode forwards and stood beside his lovers arching ribs. “Remus, let Madame Pomfrey help you,” he said firmly.

He was met with Remus straining forwards to try and bite him. Remus never bit him, not even in the blazing fires of their passion. Human Remus never bit, period.

Sirius grabbed Remus by the hair with his right hand and placed his left on Remus’ chest. Simultaneously, he yanked Remus’ head back and forced his chest down, baring his throat which Sirius fastened his jaws around. As Remus continued to struggle, he increased the pressure of his teeth.

Though it was possible for Remus to bite him and break the skin, even if he had never done it, Sirius could not do the same. The werewolf’s skin was much tougher than it looked, his teeth could not pierce it. But he hated to do this all the same, he still worried about hurting him. It was pointless to worry about causing him pain, for Remus to become feral he was already in agony, but he still worried about hurting his sweet Remus.

After what seemed an infinity, Remus fell still. One moment of silence seemed to stretch out into eternity, before Remus whined and pushed his belly forwards in submission.

“Sirius,” he whimpered. “It hurts, Siri.”

A sick wolf turned to their alpha for help, and Remus was not the alpha anymore. He would not say it hurt if Sirius had not won the battle. Sirius removed his mouth from the pale neck, loosened his grip on the sandy brown hair and eased his pressure on the beautifully muscled chest. He captured those amber eyes with his own.

“I know, honey. I know it does. Madame Pomfrey…” Remus growled at the mention of the matron and Sirius yanked his hair again. “You will let her help you!” he ordered, snarling it out. 

Remus gasped, finding it hard to breathe through the pain. His eyes fixed on Sirius’ blue ones. His alpha. The alpha would help him, he always did, he would make it better. He whined and the grip on his hair eased.

“My stomach…it hurts.”

“I know. You’re sick, Remus, you need help,” Sirius said firmly. “She needs to help you now. Submit and let her treat you.” He watched as Remus considered it and then closed his eyes in defeat.

Madame Pomfrey moved forwards at Sirius’ nod and felt her way along Remus’ stomach, pausing when Remus half-screamed. She pulled out her wand and murmured a few spells. 

“Just as I thought, appendicitis. He needs surgery,” she said, summoning a potion. “Sirius, I need him to take this.”

“What is it?”

“A sedating potion. It’ll put him to sleep whilst I treat him.”

Sirius nodded and looked back down at his mate. “Remus…honey. You need to take this potion that Madame Pomfrey has.”

“Why?” the boy asked suspiciously.

“It will help you, make you feel better. Take it for me, Remus.”

It was the direct order that got Remus to obey. Though his gaze was still wary, he obediently drank as the phial was pressed to his lips. Almost immediately after he had drunk the potion, his eyes began to close. His body strained forwards at the last moment, fighting unconsciousness for a few moments before he finally succumbed. 

“Right, you can let go of him now,” she announced. They all cautiously released their grips and took a step back, heaving a collective sigh of relief. All but Sirius. The young man remained where he was, feeling Remus’ heart beating beneath his fingers, stroking his hair.

“Sirius, you need to wait outside. You can’t be in here while she treats Remus,” Dumbledore said softly.

Sirius nodded, leaning down to lay a gentle kiss on the smooth forehead.

He let the headmaster lead him outside and sat down on the padded bench he was directed to.

And then there was nothing left to do but wait.

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Remus slowly opened his eyes to find Sirius curled up against his side, snoring softly. He smiled, brushing back an errant lock of his blue black hair, before looking around. He was still in the hospital wing, and through the gap in his curtains he could see Madame Pomfrey hovering over Delores Umbridge, fixing what seemed to be a broken wrist.

Remus, however, felt like he had been trampled by a herd of hippogriff’s. And he dimly realised that the complete centre of his pain was residing in his lower abdomen. He gently pulled at the blanket and sheet to find that he was almost completely nude apart from his boxers and a dressing on his stomach.

“Remus?”

The teenage werewolf smiled and let Sirius kiss him gently. 

“How are you feeling?”

“Like I was run over by the Hogwarts Express,” Remus said as Sirius propped himself up on an elbow and stared down at him, reaching up to brush his fingers through Remus’ hair. “What happened?”

“You had appendicitis. Madame Pomfrey had to remove your appendix.”

“Remove it?”

“Yup. Don’t worry. Apparently the appendix is completely useless. We don’t actually use it so you won’t miss it.”

Remus lay there in silence for a while, distracted from everything around him as he tried to figure out what was wrong. Something was, he knew that much, but he couldn’t put his finger on what it was. It was like the feeling of knowing you’d forgotten something, but not being able to recall what it was, or walking into a room only to have forgotten what it was you were there for. 

His distraction didn’t stop him admiring the way Sirius’ shirt rode up and revealed a wide patch of pale skin as he stretched. It was so pale and smooth, with the faintest scattering of hair all in a straight line leading down from his belly button to disappear into the waistband of his jeans. Remus wanted to reach out and run his thumb along it, to trace it with his tongue maybe, and then lay down and let his Alpha have his wicked way with him, to let Sirius dominate and control him, force things from his body that no one else…

“Why do I want to submit to you?” Remus asked suddenly.

“What?” Sirius said through a yawn.

“I want to submit to you. Why?”

“Ummmm…I don’t know,” Sirius said, and Remus just knew he was lying. His inner wolf was whining at him, clawing away merrily.

“Sirius, tell me what you know. Now!” Remus demanded.

Sirius sighed, knowing Remus wasn’t going to like it. “You wouldn’t let them treat you, Remus, and you were in pain, you were really sick, I had to,” he reasoned and Remus’ eyes narrowed.

“You had to what?” the prefect questioned.

“I had to force submission on you,” Sirius whispered, ducking his head and looking sheepish.

Remus was stunned. He hadn’t realised that someone could do that to him, but he supposed he should have thought about it before. Once he surmised that Sirius was his mate, it should have occurred to him that, with his Alpha status, Sirius would be his Beta. What did he think would happen if he got hurt or sick? That he would just magically lie down and let them treat him? He knew that wouldn’t happen, it should have occurred to him what would be needed.

He reached out and grabbed Sirius’ hand, pulling him close and grazing his lips across Sirius’, smiling when his lover gave in and kissed him, gently at first but gaining confidence as he realised Remus was letting him take control. He slipped his tongue into Remus’ mouth, tentatively to begin with, but soon becoming bold and demanding, the two of them losing themselves, until a slight cough reminded them where they were.

“Good to know you’re feeling better, Mr. Lupin,” Madame Pomfrey said as she came round the curtain carrying a tray full of potions and whatnot, a small smile lingering on her lips. Remus felt himself burn with embarrassment at having been caught, but he refused to feel shame. He and Sirius loved each other, and kissing was just a way of expressing that. There was no reason to be ashamed. Sirius, on the other hand, looked incredibly smug and cocky, and Remus rolled his eyes. He doubted Sirius would ever loose the urges of the Stud that had served him for so long.

“I’m still sore,” Remus said as Pomfrey pulled back the sheet, carefully pulling off the dressing to look at the wound.

“What are those?” Sirius questioned.

“Stitches,” the matron answered. “I wasn’t too keen on using too many spells on Remus, not with all I had to do to him. The stitches are a muggle way of holding the skin together while it heals a little.”

“How do they work?” he asked as she began to delicately clean the wound.

“It’s like sewing,” Remus said, his eyes fixed on the ceiling, trying desperately to ignore the stinging of whatever the cloth was soaked in as it touched his damaged flesh. “Needle, thread, flesh instead of fabric.”

He glanced at Sirius to see him looking faintly green, before he felt that reassuring hand slip into his, letting him grip as the nurse got a little rougher with her cleaning. She stood there and gave Remus some instructions about keeping the wound clean, and that he would be moved to the Shrieking Shack tonight, so he could heal in peace. No one was quite sure what Remus’ inner wolf would do with this sudden change, and they would rather he didn’t maim anyone.

As the nurse left, Remus felt himself drifting off, knowing that Sirius would be there when he woke.

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Sirius was alone in his and Remus’ bed, watching the clouds drift across the tiny slither of moon, listening to Peter and James snore. Remus had been in the Shack for two days and two very long nights and to Sirius it felt like he was split in half. Remus was everything to him, and living like this, so close and yet so far from touching him… it was driving Sirius insane.

Deep in the wee small hours of the morning, as he was drifting in that small space between waking and dreams, Sirius felt something change. It was as if something deep inside him had shifted. He was barely aware of anything as he rose from his bed, drawn towards the door, down the stairs and out of Gryffindor tower. He didn’t see anything as he walked across the grounds to the Willow, not even questioning it when it fell still for him. 

He didn’t feel it when Dumbledore’s spell hit him, making him glow blue briefly. As he descended into the tunnel, Albus slipped back into the castle, knowing he had at least protected the young Pureblood from an unplanned and, possibly, unwanted pregnancy. Everything now was in the hands of fate.

Sirius felt his feet carrying him forwards, until he was standing at the foot of the bed where Remus was sleeping, nude aside from the sheets and the plaster over his stitches. As if some invisible force was watching over them, controlling everything that was happening, Remus’ eyes opened, amber locking with blue. They were both unnaturally still for a moment, the silence stretching between them. 

Remus watched as Sirius shed his clothes, leaving them in a pile where he stood, before rounding the bed to pull off the covers. He climbed onto the mattress, laying back, his arms raised above his head to expose the pale lean length of him.

Neither of them could stop what was happening, and neither of them wanted to. They had love and unwavering trust between them.

Sirius sighed at the first touch of Remus’ lips on his, his act of submission becoming genuine as he felt Remus take control of him. Those glorious hands were on his skin, setting a trail of flames in their wake. 

“Say it,” Remus whispered, his lips mere millimetres from Sirius’ ear.

“You’re the alpha,” Sirius said in a voice that was almost not his own. Some rational part of his brain told him that this wasn’t normal, that there was something off with the whole situation. But he couldn’t bring himself to care.

They could almost feel the weight of responsibility shift from Sirius to Remus, some subtle transference. And with it came the heightening of all Sirius’ senses. He lay there, waiting for his lover to take control of him. 

Soft lips tasting him, a slick tongue licking at him almost desperately, and Sirius realised he was being marked. Whatever crazy werewolf instincts Remus usually kept under control were unleashed, boundless. A forceful nuzzle of his belly reminded Sirius of his place as Remus’ beta. If he wanted to, Remus could rip out his vulnerable belly, kill him, take everything that he was and destroy it. He was strong enough to, the lithe form contained enough power to completely obliterate the Animagus.

But he didn’t.

And there it was, what made Remus the alpha. He had this power and chose not to use it, to let Sirius live. The werewolf in Remus was completely devoted to Sirius and would defend him to the death. Sirius had never felt more loved. 

He felt even more loved when Remus surged over him, thrusting to the hilt into his tight passage with one sharp push. Sirius threw his head back and screamed in pain. He’d never been taken without preparation or lube, and to be taken without either was in no way pleasant. He gasped, desperately trying to remember how to breathe and pulled away from the hardness penetrating him, his hands coming down from their place above his head to shove at Remus’ chest.

Remus fell back against the post, looking at the writhing figure of his mate. Sirius rolled to the side, bringing his knees up to his chest, and Remus saw the pool of blood that lay where Sirius had been. 

Blood he’d drawn. Pain he’d caused.

“Siri?” Remus whispered. “Sirius, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“I know,” Sirius moaned. “I know you didn’t mean it. But it did hurt, Remus.” He paused, wiping at the tears streaking down his cheeks. “I didn’t think you would ever hurt me,” he whispered. 

Remus felt his heart break. How could he have been so stupid?! He had to make it right, make it better, show Sirius that he knew he was wrong. He crawled up the bed and curled around his mate, pulling the younger boy back into his arms. 

“How can you still be hard?” Sirius asked.

Remus burned with embarrassment. “I don’t know,” he murmured. “I can’t make it go away.”

Sirius rolled over and looked Remus in the eye. There was true pain, endless and burning. He leaned in and kissed him, gently at first and then slowly letting Remus control the kiss once more. Sirius slowly let himself relax as Remus began to touch him again, feeling only pleasure. Hours it took, Remus pleasuring him, worshiping him, whispering his worry, how much he never wanted to hurt his lover again.

Eventually Remus came to a realization. He wouldn’t be able to take Sirius in their usual werewolf-on-top position. His pain medication had worn off, and Sirius was still too wary of him and his penis to allow it. 

Remus knew how it worked: his inner wolf was reclaiming his position as alpha, and sex was the way to do it. It was true submission, in the eyes of a werewolf, to allow another to enter your body, to take control of your physical desires. 

He rolled, pulling Sirius up to straddle him, the Pureblood blinking down at him in surprise. Remus pulled him to lock lips, his fingers trailing along his inner thigh, making Sirius whimper.

“I want you,” Sirius whispered.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Just…gently this time?”

“Of course, sweetheart.” He grabbed the bottle of oil someone had left on the bedside table and coated his fingers, getting the viscous fluid all over them and the sheets. It smelled of lemons. “I will never hurt you again, I promise. Just trust me?”

“I trust you, I’m just a little nervous,” Sirius assured. 

Remus kissed him as his fingers found their way to the right spot, and he felt Sirius tense slightly as he touched him before relaxing to let Remus prepare him. The feel of the oil was different than the gel-like lube they usually used. It was thinner but more slick somehow. Remus couldn’t help but notice the difference. He slowly slipped one, then two fingers into the tight heat, spreading as much oil as he could inside his mate. He faltered slightly when he felt the new part of Sirius: the gash where Remus had torn him. Guilt tugged at him again, but a moan as Remus brushed against Sirius’ prostate brought him back to the task at hand. More fingers, more oil, until Remus was sure Sirius could get no looser.

Soon enough, Sirius was writhing on Remus’ fingers, leaning back to balance himself on Remus’ knees, his head thrown back in pleasured abandon.

“Please, Remus, please!” he begged in breathless gasps as the werewolf massaged his sweet spot. 

Remus removed his fingers and grabbed the bottle of oil again. He was already coated in the stuff but he was now terrified that Sirius would regret letting him touch him again. He poured a mess of oil over his thick shaft and threw the empty bottle away, barely hearing the glass smash. He heard Sirius sigh in relief as he positioned himself, gripping the slim hips, waiting for Sirius to begin sinking down upon him. It took Sirius longer than usual, the Animagus still nervous, and then he was still, held in the cradle of Remus’ hips.

“Don’t move, Remus, please,” Sirius moaned. “I just need to…”

What Sirius just needed to was cut off as his ankle slipped on the oil-soaked sheet beneath it, causing Remus to shift inside him, brushing against his inner walls in interesting ways. His mouth fell open in a silent scream of pleasure. He began to move, grinding himself on Remus, his eyes trained on the ceiling. Soon he began to raise and lower himself, tentatively at first and then harder as the expected pain refused to materialize.

Faster he moved, Remus gripping tighter and tighter on the slim hips, until they were unable to find where one ended and the other began. They spiraled higher and higher, neither knowing just how long he or the other could last but knowing it had to end somewhere. And they did want it to end. Or did they? The pleasure was so intense it had to end, something burning that hot couldn’t possibly last. But they didn’t want it to end, so caught up in the intense pleasure that they couldn’t stop themselves.

Eventually all that heat and need condensed down, coiled in the pit of their bellies, closer and closer, until it exploded in a rush of liquid heat.

When they both regained some sense of themselves, Sirius sat up from where he had collapsed onto Remus’ chest and raised himself a little so Remus slipped from him in a rush of oil and ejaculate. He flopped down beside his lover and curled up, his head on Remus’ chest. Remus’ arms came around him, his fingers combing through Sirius’ black hair.

They lay together in silence and watched the sun rise.

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Anne grinned as her boys walked through the door, first Remus, then Sirius and then John bringing up the rear. She hugged Remus tightly, looking him over to make sure he was healthy and well, before she raised her eyebrows in question.

As Remus nodded, she let him go and pulled Sirius into a hug that could crush bone, the Pureblood hugging her back just as tightly.

“Come on, let me look at you both,” she demanded, looking them both over. “Well, neither of you look like there’s any lasting damage.”

“Annie, they’re fine,” John said as he dragged in the last trunk. “I did do the whole concerned parent thing when I met them at the station.”

“My son had surgery, I’m allowed to be concerned,” Anne insisted.

Anne and John hadn’t been allowed to visit Remus while he was recovering, Dumbledore and Pomfrey had been exceedingly worried about letting anyone but Sirius near him. And then they had been unable to visit during the Easter break as John had managed to contract pneumonia and ordered to bed by the doctors and healers.

“I’m fine, mum, I promise,” Remus reassured as he pulled off his coat. 

They all sat around the kitchen table, drinking tea and eating sandwiches. Remus and Sirius glanced at each other. Anne obviously wanted to say something and was uncomfortable doing so. They looked at John and saw he was bright red.

“Anne, whatever it is you want to say, please, don’t feel embarrassed, just come out and say it,” Sirius said.

“We got McGonagall’s letter…about the two of you…about…what happened over Christmas,” she said and the teenage werewolf stiffened, the tips of Sirius’ ears going red.

“Oh. That,” Sirius said.

“Yes, that,” John replied. “Look, we don’t want to pry, boys, really we don’t. We just want to be sure things are all okay. Obviously the two of you aren’t children anymore. So some things will have to change.”

“What do you mean?” Remus questioned worriedly. “Are you saying you want us to…”

“No!” Anne cried. “No, Remus, we don’t want you to leave or be reserved with each other or anything of the sort. What we’re saying is that the two of you will have to remember silencing charms and to close doors and things like that.”

“Oh.”

“We understand that doing…that is a normal part of your relationship,” John said. He had surpassed red and become practically purple but his voice was steady. “But me and your mum don’t want to hear you. Or see it. Just…a little discretion. Okay, boys?”

“Okay,” Sirius said. “It’s not so different than at school. We’ll keep it contained, sort of.”

“And safe,” Anne interjected. “I have no desires to be a grandmother yet. You will be careful, won’t you?”

“Absolutely. We’ve got the Daily Potion, and we know the Charm. We’re careful, mum, I swear. You don’t need to worry about that,” Remus said firmly.

“Right,” John said. “Good. Now that that’s out of the way, me and your mum have been decorating your room while you were away. Nothing too drastic, just a lick of paint.”

“Oh,” Remus said. “You didn’t have to.”

“Remus, you were too old for bunnies. It was time to decorate. Why don’t the two of you go up and take a look. If you don’t like it, we can always change it. And you can unpack while you’re up there.”

The two Gryffindor’s made their way up, dragging their trunks behind them, and Remus tentatively opened the door to their bedroom.

When they had left the walls had still sported the bunny rabbit and cloud wallpaper Remus had had since he was a small boy, and the floor had the green carpet his parents had chosen before he was even born. There had been two single beds, a wardrobe, a chest of drawers and a mass of shelves full of Remus’ impressive collection of books.

Now the walls were a light calm powdery blue, the carpet a deep lush red. The two single beds had been replaced with a king size divan bed, covered in a deep blood red duvet set with masses of cushions and pillows. There were two bedside tables, and a small loveseat at the end of the bed. There was a large wardrobe unit with integrated drawers and shelves, and in the corner that had once held Remus’ toy box sat two squashy armchairs, the walls of that corner covered with shelves from floor to ceiling, books meticulously arranged by author.

“What do you think?” John asked as he came up behind the two of them. “Your mum put a permanent One-Way Silencing Charm on it, so when the door’s closed you can hear if someone’s knocking but we can’t hear you.”

“It’s…perfect,” Remus breathed.

“Good. I’d hate to see what your mum’d do if it wasn’t.”

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Sirius stirred the beans on the stove, enjoying the peace of the house around him. Anne and John were both at work, not to return until at least six this evening, and Remus was still sleeping. Sirius had left him curled around a pillow while he made breakfast, which he planned for them to eat in bed.

They were halfway through the summer holidays and Sirius couldn’t believe how relaxed he felt.

“I missed you,” came a voice, making him jump. He looked over his shoulder to find Remus descending the last couple of stairs, his pyjama bottoms riding low on his hips, his chest bare.

“I was coming back,” Sirius said, reaching for the toast as it popped up in the toaster, a machine he loved. “I was going to bring you breakfast in bed.”

Remus moulded himself to Sirius’ back, his lips finding the join between neck and shoulder, making Sirius shiver. 

“Take it off the heat,” Remus whispered, his tongue darting out to capture the lobe, pulling it between his teeth. 

Sirius obeyed without question, shoving the saucepan off the hob and fumbling for the dial, turning off the stove as Remus’ tongue darted out to taste the skin behind his ear. Remus slid his hands up from hips to chest, pulling his lover away from the counter and pushing him towards the table.

Sirius reached out blindly, the fruit bowl and that mornings post going flying as Remus pulled at his nipples. He lowered his torso, his chest flat against the wood as Remus let his lips trail along his spine. Sirius moaned in anticipation as Remus shoved down both of their pyjama bottoms, the werewolf letting his hand cup the roundness of Sirius’ buttocks. Sirius cried out as Remus’ fingers slipped between his thighs, tickling the back of his balls.

“Please,” Sirius breathed. “Please, Remus. Do something, anything, please!”

Remus smirked. It was taking less and less to get Sirius to his neediest point, where he would take the most pleasure from his touch. Remus knew his lover had been trying to hide the nightmares from him, thoughts of his family and childhood playing heavily on Sirius’ mind. He needed Sirius to believe in his love, his trust, his all-consuming devotion. He let his fingers slip between the full cheeks, easing them into the tight welcoming heat.

Sirius was still slick and open from their coupling in the small hours of this morning. He straightened, guiding himself into the slick channel with a hiss. He heard, through his own pleasure infused blindness, his lovers head hit the table with the thud. After a moment he began to thrust into the younger man, reaching out the lace their fingers, his weight pushing Sirius into the table, making it feel that much closer.

“Oh! Remus!” Sirius cried as Remus shifted within him, brushing his pleasure point with practiced accuracy. He was too caught up in the overwhelming sensations that he couldn’t even push back to get more, all he could do was remain there and let Remus take complete control of his body. The unforgiving wood beneath him, the hot weight of Remus on his back, the unrelenting movement of that thick hard shaft within him. It was good, too good, he could feel himself tightening, spiraling higher, until Remus released one of his hands to reach beneath him, cupping his balls, pressing into the skin behind them while still thrusting into him.

It was a new trick the werewolf had learned, something he had, funnily enough, found in a book. He had found that the pressure from outside, made by his fingers, stimulated Sirius’ prostate, while his penis, deep within him, rubbed against it over and over again. It took a certain position, and dexterity, to caress him two ways, but it was worth it when Sirius jerked uncontrollably, clamping down on him and screaming. Remus clapped his other hand over Sirius’ mouth to muffle the shrieks of pleasure, using his grip to tilt his head so he could bury his face in the sweet curve of his neck. He pounded into Sirius, using Sirius’ loss of senses to use his body more roughly than he probably should to reach his own release.

Sirius regained himself to feel Remus fucking him so roughly the table was sliding against the floor with a screech. Incredibly he felt himself growing hard again. Damn, he had never hardened again this quickly after an orgasm. 

“Remus,” he gasped. “Oh yes, take me! Harder, Remus, don’t stop.”

Remus froze mid-thrust at the unexpected cries. “What?”

“What the fuck are you doing?” Sirius half-screamed. “I said not to stop, I said harder!”

“You…you like this?”

“What’s not to like?”

“I didn’t think you liked it this rough.”

“Well, neither did I. But,” he reached out and grabbed Remus’ hand, shoving it against his rock hard cock. “I really do, so don’t stop.”

Remus curved over him to take his lips in a wild kiss before arranging Sirius as he wanted him; hands gripping the opposite edge of the table, legs a little further apart. He gripped the slim hips and rested his forehead against Sirius’ shoulder before beginning to thrust once more, far more confident than before. He pounded into the pliant body, snapping his hips, slamming himself in to the tight heat again and again until he was almost mindless with the pleasure. Sirius was gasping beneath him, an almost constant moan pouring from his mouth.

Remus wound his forearm around his lovers hips, holding him still as he fucked him roughly. He grit his teeth, his other hand winding around to grip his lovers inner thigh. He was truly a beast, more in that moment than he had ever been before, and he knew nothing short of an act of divine intervention could stop him now. His whole being condensed down into the oncoming rush of long sought release, until all he knew was the pleasure coursing through his body, pouring from his cock to fill his beloved as he collapsed across his back.

Sirius couldn’t believe it. He never would have guessed that he would be one to get off by being used like this, and that’s what it was. Remus had used his body to find his own pleasure. Granted, Sirius had given him permission to do so, but still…

Apparently, his psyche had been craving it all along, as he had come for a second time without even being touched. 

“Still with me?” Remus murmured in his ear after a while.

“Always.”

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Remus ducked the snowball thrown at him, coming up and retaliating with one of his own, which hit James in the face.

“Oi! Not fair, Moony,” he yelled, shaking it off and Sirius laughed at him.

“You wanted him to play,” Sirius called, laughing as he ducked the loose handful of snow thrown at him. 

“Hey, let’s take a picture,” Remus called. “For my mum.”

They all gathered around by the frozen lake, James holding Lily close, Sirius nuzzling into his neck, while Peter snapped a few photographs.

“Your nose is cold,” Remus said, turning and kissing his lover, smiling into it. He entwined their fingers and hummed. “Sirius! Your hands are freezing!”

“I forgot my gloves,” he admitted, nosing at the soft skin behind Remus’ ear, backing him into a secluded spot amongst the trees at the edge of the lake. “Warm me up,” he murmured, leaning against one of the trees.

Remus smiled and crowded in close, warming his body with his own, slipping a thigh between Sirius’ own.

“Oi! You two can do that later!” James bellowed, followed by an ‘oof!’ and then he and Lily bickering. Sirius wondered where she had hit him this time.

Sirius rested his forehead against Remus’ shoulder, reaching down to push away the thigh.

“Later,” Remus promised. “I’ll make you scream for me.”

“You’re not even challenging yourself now,” Sirius said.

“But I like it when you scream,” Remus said practically, taking his hand and leading him back to their friends, who were shivering and rubbing their cold hands together.

Lily suggested they go down to the kitchens and get some hot chocolate and it was the beat idea they had ever heard. They made their way inside and James tickled the pear.

The house elves were all too happy to ply them with hot chocolate and marshmallows and warmed squares of gooey brownie with whipped cream.

“Did you hear what Snivellus said in Potions the other day?” James said and Remus groaned, Lily rolling her eyes.

“Can’t you two lay off each other? Just for a little while?” Remus questioned. “It can’t be healthy, all this anger.”

“Maybe you should become a Buddhist, Moony,” James said with a smirk. “Being all peace loving pacifist…don’t you get tired up there on that high horse of yours?”

“It’s not a high horse, it’s looking for a quiet life. Is that too much to ask for?”

“I think with Peter around destroying things in class, yes, it might just be too much to ask for.”

“Hey!” Peter protested.

“Oh, shut up,” James said dismissively. “You did send Flitwick to the hospital wing last lesson.”

“It was an accident!”

“Sirius, darling, would you like to weigh in and…”

Remus looked down at Sirius, who was down on one knee, a mug of hot chocolate in his hands. There was a ring of white gold balanced on top of the thick whipped cream, diamonds embedded into the engraved stars.

“What are you doing?” he whispered and Sirius smiled at him.

“I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, topaz,   
Or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.   
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,   
In secret, between the shadow and the soul.

“I love you as the plant that doesn't bloom and carries,   
Hidden within itself, the light of those flowers,   
And thanks to your love, darkly in my body,   
Lives the dense fragrance that rises from the earth. 

“I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,   
I love you simply, without complexities or pride:   
I love you because I know no other way than this,   
So close that your hand upon my chest is my hand,   
So close that when you close your eyes, I fall asleep.”

Remus could feel tears welling up, slipping over his lashes and down his cheek, and then he had to chuckle. The ring had begun to sink and Sirius shot to his feet, placing the mug on the table they were sitting at and using a spoon to rescue the precious band. He stuck it in his mouth and sucked it clean before accepting the damp cloth one of the elves passed him and wiping it off.

“Okay, that didn’t go the way I planned. I know I’m not that good with words,” Sirius said. “But I love you. I love you more than anything else ever, and I want to be with you forever. So I figure that this is the way to get that, to bind us together in every way possible.” He took a deep breath and sank back down to one knee, holding out the ring. “Remus John Lupin, you are the most amazing man I’ve ever known, and I feel so blessed to be the one you’ve chosen to be with. I want to be with you every single day of forever, so will you grant me the extraordinary privilege of letting me be your husband?”

Remus covered his face with his hands, wiping away his tears. For so long he had imagined that he would be alone, and then he had made friends. And then came Sirius, this incredible person that his wolf had decided was the one for them. Biology had taken over, and Remus was okay with that, he accepted it as a part of being what he was.

And then Sirius had to go and surprise him all over again.

He knew Sirius loved him, just as much as he loved Sirius. Through biology and by choice, they were together, nothing could change that. And now the whole world would know it.

“Hey,” Sirius murmured, cuddling him close and kissing his temple. “It’s okay, honey, it’s okay. We don’t have to get married if you don’t want to. I’ll still be yours even if you say no.”

Remus pulled back and crashed their mouths together, nodding as they kissed, and he felt Sirius smile at him.

“Is that a yes?” Sirius asked as he pulled back, cupping Remus’ cheek and forcing him to look at him.

Remus nodded, half laughing and half crying, his fingers wrapping around the neck of Sirius’ jumper, yanking him in to kiss him again.

Sirius slipped the ring onto his left ring finger, and their friends exploded in cheers, but they didn’t hear anything.

All they knew was each other, and that’s the way it should be.

Always and forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, I managed to update this one. 
> 
> Comment below, let me know what you think.


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